Chapter 77

open my eyes to banging on my chamber door, and i don’t want to get out of bed, my head is pounding, and my body feels as though i have been beaten to within an inch of my life. Though maybe it has, i did die after all.

But I'm still here, and i am determined to make the most of whatever time i have, even if that means following the rules Mortem has set for me. I know what death feels like now, and i do not want to feel it again.

I slowly slide out of bed and wrap myself in a robe, heading for the door, whoever it is, they don’t seem happy, and neither am i.

I open the door, shocked when i see the blonde-haired girl from the day before, her eyes full of fear as she bows. “I’m s-sorry for waking you, t-the king ordered me to feed you before he comes and gets you.” she says, stammering and stuttering out her words like a scared child.

And that is exactly what she is, she is a girl whose life has been destroyed by the vampire King, it doesn’t matter what she was before the fall of the city, now she is just a blood bag. She is here to feed me and that is all.

It's a shame, she could have been anyone, she could have been loved tremendously by her family and friends. But she was in the wrong place at the wrong time and now she is a slave.

I'd say that i am a slave too, but it is not the same. I am a princess, and now, a vampire. I'm more than she will ever be. But that doesn’t mean i will treat her as badly as the others have.

They may think she is nothing, but she is someone to me, even if i don’t know her. She is one of my father’s subjects, and that means something to me, even if it doesn’t to anyone else.

I have to feed from her, i have no choice about that, and neither does she, but that doesn’t mean that i have to hurt her, or anyone else.

I can still be the person i have always been, it will just take time to find her again.

I move to the side, allowing her some space, “Come on in, Lucy.” i say, trying to keep my voice soft, even as my throat burns with hunger. “Take a seat on the bed.”

She does as i tell her, and all i can do is watch, my mind so focused on her blood that i can barely see straight. It feels like i am about to lose myself again, and i cannot do that. I cannot give in to the bloodlust. Not now. Not ever.

Not again.

I already killed Derrick, i drained him until there was nothing left of him, until he was nothing but bones and skin. I can’t do the same to Lucy.

I clear my throat as i close the door, trying not to breathe too heavily, “Excuse me for a moment, i need to use the bathroom.” i say quickly, barely glancing her way as i rush into the adjoining room.

I slam the door and lock it behind me, leaning over the sink, heaving and coughing, it feels like my insides are on fire, like an inferno has begun in my stomach and it is making its way up my throat.

I turn on the tap, using my hands to splash water on my face, i just need a moment, just one second to gain control over myself again.

I use the toilet, and brush out the curls in my hair, but pain doesn’t go, if anything, it gets worse. But i won’t let it win. I will not become like the rest of them. Even if that means starving myself.

But i know that Mortem will never let that happen, and i know what will happen to me if i defy his orders. It doesn’t leave me much choice. Though, have i ever really had a choice about anything in my life? I don’t think so.

My life has always been something that i wanted to escape from, i had always longed to be someone else, to be somewhere else. But i cannot change fate, and no matter how hard i tried to fight back, i could not stop what happened to me.

I'm dead, but i am also alive, and i am running out of time to make a choice on whether i want to keep living. Even if it means being a vampire and spending an eternity with my capture.

I take a long breath in through my nose and walk back towards the door, i swear that i can smell her blood from in here. It's so strong, so sweet.

It is making my mouth water.

I unlock the door and walk into the bedroom, Lucy still sat on the bed, looking more nervous that i feel.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” i tell her in my softest voice, “but i do have to feed from you.”

She nods her head, “I know what you have to do, princess, and it is ok. I want to be the one to feed you.”

I startle at her words, “Why?”

“Because regardless of everything that has happened to you, the city, your people and your family you have still stayed the same caring person that you have always been.” she says, forcing a smile, “i remember you going out into the streets to feed people who needed it, people who couldn’t support themselves. I was one of them. You fed my family for years. So, if anyone has to give their life to feed you, i am glad that it is me.”

I fight back tears, “I never wanted anything in return for what i did for you and the people of this kingdom, i only wanted you all to be safe, and for that, i have failed.” tears slide down my cheeks even as i fight them back, “I have failed so many of you.”

She jumps to her feet and takes my hands in hers, “No!” she cries, tears pouring out of her eyes, “You did everything that you could, you gave your life! No one could have asked you to do any of that, at first, a few of us thought that you had managed to escape, but then he brought you back and we were scared. We were afraid of what he would do to you.”

I laugh a little, but only to hide the tears, “I have never been concerned about myself, i take life as it comes, i am more concerned about you and the others.”

Is it possible that i may not have to fight alone anymore?

Is it possible that i have a friend?

I hope so, i hope that Lucy and i can be friends, she seems nice, and whilst i have to drink her blood to survive, she doesn’t seem angry about it.

She seems relieved that it is her. It's strange, to have someone care about me again. I never thought that it would happen. Not after my family was murdered.

But here i am, in the arms of another. And for once in a very long time, i feel safe.