I feel so safe here
For Deanna, the pregnancy began to complicate even the most routine and simple tasks. Her back was killing her, her legs were swollen, and bending over was no longer an option. Even something as simple as putting on a pair of shoes was a thing of the past. Daniel watched her with concern; while the first few months had passed without problems, her belly was growing significantly.
She had always been a petite woman, with a small waist and a fragile appearance. A single pregnancy was one thing, but a double one was entirely different; and although she endured with effort, sometimes the pain and discomfort put her in a terrible mood. She began to feel useless and frustrated.
The situation was not easy. Each day seemed to bring a new challenge with her pregnancy, and the complications were not limited to just the physical aspects. The sense of helplessness and frustration that overwhelmed her mingled with the fear that grew alongside her daughters. Sometimes she felt she wouldn't know what to do.
Daniel was by her side, trying to be a constant support. Although he tried to be understanding and attentive, he often felt useless in the face of what Deanna was going through. The idea that all he could offer were words of encouragement and small gestures of help made him feel even more frustrated.
The nights were particularly difficult. Deanna frequently woke up due to the pain and discomfort, and Daniel did everything he could to help her, bringing her pillows to relieve the pressure on her back or making her herbal tea to help her relax. However, seeing her suffer in this way made him bitter.
Deanna had tried to stay positive, but it was hard when her body seemed to be in constant battle with itself. Every small movement felt like a mountain to climb, and every attempt to do things on her own ended in exhaustion. The image of the strong and independent woman she had always been seemed to crumble, and the fear of not being able to meet the expectations of being a mother grew ever larger.
"I don't know what to do," she told her husband in one of those moments when the discomfort and pain overwhelmed her.
"I don't know what to do to help you," he responded, distressed.
"I'm so sorry for putting you through this... You lose sleep because of me."
"That doesn't matter..." He sat beside her on the bed. "Every time you cry or feel bad, I feel useless. I want to take your pain away, but I can't."
"You help me more than you realize by not leaving me alone."
"Yes, but I wish I could do more..."
"These are tough moments, but you are my support, you always are. You are so understanding and patient with me, you help me with everything, you comfort me... What would I do without you?" she asked, now crying.
It wasn't just physical discomfort she was suffering from, but also fears and doubts; she looked at her body and felt helpless and fragile. Sometimes she wondered how those women who faced such a stage alone managed, how Philippa had managed to keep going without Leonard. She felt immense admiration for them, for all that courage that didn't allow them to falter even once.
Surely she would have done the same, but she had the enormous fortune of not only having her husband by her side but having one who stayed up with her, massaging her back, going down to the kitchen many times to bring her water or tea or something to eat, who held her hand and walked at her pace. Who worried with her and suffered her pains as his own.
Her crying deepened, but it was a cry of gratitude.
"Don't cry..." Daniel begged her.
"I cry because I'm so grateful to have you, you stay with me even though I'm a mess from head to toe; I don't understand how you put up with it."
"I love you, Deanna. And I love you in the good times and the hard times, you never abandoned me when I was down or sad, you are strong. I will go through this pregnancy with you until the last day, I won't leave you alone," he said, sounding anguished, desperate.
Daniel tried to stay strong, but when they had those moments of insecurities and doubts floating around them, he also became vulnerable. He had accompanied Emily through this three times, he knew about morning sickness, cramps, and pains. He remembered how they had suffered through it with Ethan, both being first-time parents and the times he would rush her to the doctor for any small pain.
The following pregnancies were easier, they knew what could happen and took it more calmly. Until they learned about his wife's health problems and things changed.
But for Deanna, it was the first time and on top of that, it was twins. Daniel hugged her, gently stroking her back, wanting to ease her pain and anguish, and she clung to him tightly.
We can't always do everything for those we love, sometimes, nothing. But we don't realize how much our silent presence can mean to the other person; just being there, just sharing, just understanding and comforting. Deanna's fears shrank in her husband's arms.