Chapter 183 Mine First

Chapter 183 Mine First
Nicholas’s Point of View

The pang in my chest was too unbearable; I shouldn't have talked to her like that. I should have at least tried to be kind to her; she deserves my trust—I should have trusted her, but what else was I supposed to do? I saw him holding her, and I lost my damn mind like the jerk I was.
I rushed after her and blocked her from going inside.
“Move out of my way!” Her gaze didn't meet mine; I could see tears glittering in her eyes, but she didn't let me see them.
“Please, let's talk about this.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I didn't want this misunderstanding to keep on growing between us.
Samantha let out a bitter chuckle. “What are we talking about exactly?” Her voice cracked. “Should we talk about how you moaned Cassandra’s name while on top of me, or how you called me a whore? What should we talk about?”
“I'm sorry.” I took a step towards her and took her hand into mine. “I overreacted. I shouldn't have said what I said, and I'm sorry about that day too. Trust me, it wasn't my intention to hurt you.”
“But you did hurt me!” Tears rolled down her cheeks.
I grimaced at her words. “I'm sorry,” I whispered. “Please forgive me!”
She pushed my hand away. “I can't forgive you.”
“Samantha–”
“Please.. I need to be alone.” She cut me off.
“Are you ever going to forgive me?” I asked, blinking the heat under my eyelids. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her because of my stupidity.
“I will think about it.” She pulled her hand away and rushed to the house. I watched her helplessly. This was my fault; it was all on me!
I sucked in a sharp breath as I blinked the heat under my eyelid. I wasn't about to lose Samantha. I would do everything in my power to keep her in my life; I wouldn't be able to live without her.
With that thought in mind, I made my way to the gate where I found Sam leaning against his car, playing with his car keys, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
I cleared my throat, earning his attention. He straightened his posture, his gaze finding mine. I walked to his car and stood next to him, leaning against the car.
“How did you find her?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. He heard me, though.
Sam leaned against the car again. “I have my ways.”
“I see...” I muttered. “You know, I really love her. I can't imagine a life without her. If she were to leave my life, I'd rather become a coward like my father and end my life because I'd have no reason left to live.” Just the thought of losing her alone made my stomach churn.
“Shut up, Nicholas!” Sam yelled, his voice cracked. “Don't you dare think of doing something like that. I'd never forgive you.”
For once I allowed tears to roll down my cheeks in front of him. He was my brother; I loved him, but I also loved Samantha. “Then give her up.” I wasn't blackmailing him, but I didn't want to fight with my brother over a woman—I didn't want to reach a point where I had to choose between them because I loved them.
A heavy silence settled between us; he didn't say anything, and I patiently waited for him until I couldn't keep my mouth shut. “Ever since our dad passed away, I never knew what it's like to be happy. I spent my whole life trying to do the right things; I forgot about me. Samantha is like a light in my life; she brought me the kind of joy I didn't know existed, and I really can't see myself without her–I just can't!”
Sam exhaled deeply. “If you were me and I told you the same, what would you have done?”
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. Loving was the easiest part, but letting go of that love was the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone–I can't wake up and decide to let go of Samantha; I'd die. I knew how he felt, but she belonged to me first; she was my wife and the mother of my child.
“What about my son?” I stammered.
Again, silence stretched between us. This time I didn't say anything; it was his chance to speak—“She belonged to me first!”
“But she's already mine, and Noah is the proof of that.” I brought my hand to wipe my tears. “If you choose to go ahead with this, just know I won't have the strength to keep going. Taking Samantha away from me is taking my oxygen, and I can't survive without it.”
“Don't fucking say that!” Sam clenched his jaw, but I said nothing.
I patted his shoulder before I started making my way to the car. He was a grown man; he could make his decision, but I'd already made mine. He might think I'm blackmailing him, but it wasn't the case; it was my own truth.
I got inside the car and sat in silence; the doors were shut closed, and my head rested on the steering wheel. I still don't understand how I made such a mistake. I needed to deal with Cassandra once and for all; she was the reason behind all these things happening, but the question still stands: how do I get rid of her?
Killing her was the only option I had. I've had enough of her; she is doing everything she can to destroy my family, but I won't let her succeed. I will deal with her, and that's my final decision. I don't care how killing her might affect my position; Samantha and Noah were more important than everything I had. At this point, I was ready to risk it all for them. Cassandra has to go, and that's final.