Chapter 99

Solaire watched as the man he’d not set eyes on in years hustle the child at his side away, “Dearest, go into the house and find your mother and sister,”

As the child whined, but eventually listened, Solaire could not stop himself from saying, “I’ve two sisters,” he nodded his head as he internalised the information, “but have I any brothers?” he cocked his head to the side and waited for the colour to return to his father’s face.

“Only the two girls.” He confirmed for Solaire before returning to a state of silence. Solaire could do little but widen his predatory grin at the man.

“All your letters to me speak of a quiet, uneventful life in the country,” Solaire could not compound his emotions into one word or feeling. His father, the man he’d been relentlessly siding with all these years had a secret family. Whether this was a new occurrence or not, Solaire could not determine. Although, from the age of his youngest daughter, Solaire would guess that his father’s double life had been on-going for at least ten years.

“I did not wish for you to find out this way, my boy,” His father finally took two steps forward, but Solaire’s arm came up to halt the man’s words and his movements.

“How long?” Solaire preferred to have answers rather than some forced half –assed reunion.

“I…well,” he fumbled to find the words to express to his only son, the timeline of his new family.

“My Lord, you’ve the children spooked,” A woman came rushing out of the house, calling after the Duke. Her footsteps slowed as she came close enough to make out Solaire’s face.

“Dahlia, I think it’s best you wait inside. My son and I have much to discuss,” He snapped, his voice growing rough and insistent. The woman, a familiar face to Solaire, stood still her eyes widening in horror at Solaire’s presence.

“Dahlia,” Solaire tasted the name on his tongue, hoping its fragrance would jolt his memory. It did. “The kitchen hand that was chased out of our home when I was seven?” The question directed to Dahlia, who darted her eyes to the Duke for aid. But none came. Silence in the form of confirmation clicked in Solaire’s mind.

“I’ve always wondered what possessed my mother to chase you from our home for being pregnant, especially when I had assumed it was some nameless man.” Solaire scoffed, “but it had been far more than that, hadn’t it?” he turned his attention back to his father.

“I can admit that Dahlia has been my companion since then,”

“So my sister is married by now I assume?” Solaire was attempting to slow his thoughts, but one thing was clear, his father’s infidelity came before his mother’s lovers. Everything Solaire had believed came crashing down. Could it be the villainess in his story was actually the victim?

“No,” Dahlia lowered her head while the Duke clarified. “Our pregnancies were not successful until ten years ago.”

“My condolences,” Solaire responded, but no matter how he tried, he could not mean it. He did not care about their stupid little family. No. How could he? The children, he would admit were exempt from his hatred and he would hope to be a protector to the girls in the future, but for now his anger was too great.

“Son, I did not mean to lie to you but for the sake of my daughters I could not be open. They are already illegitimate, such a scandal would ruin them before they’ve the opportunity to create a reputation.” His father was pleading as if his life depended on it.

“You know I came here to remind myself of why I should trust a woman enough to marry her. I thought, who more pitiful than the father who has been humiliated by his wife. But all I found were neatly covered lies.”

“Solaire,” his father attempted to reach for him, but Solaire jolted backwards.\

“I’ve even shunned my mother for taking lovers and enjoying her life because I thought you were a loyal husband to her, but it turns out she is merely picking up the pieces of her broken life,” Solaire grinned, feeling like an idiot for believing his father’s lies.

“It was never my intention to strain the relationship you have with your mother; Regina has always been a wonderful woman. Beautiful beyond compare,” Solaire noted Dahila shooting his father a stunned gaze at the compliment.

“And yet I have mountains of letters where you express your resistance to return because of shame inflicted by my mother’s open actions. Not to mention you’ve declined my invite to my engagement party on that very excuse.”

“You are right, but you have to know I did it all to ensure I preserve my relationship with you. You have always been my pride and joy, son.”

“But at what cost? You’ve driven a mother from her son and you’ve caused me to fuck up the one good thing to have happened to me all because I thought I’d end up a steaming pile of regret and pity for falling love,” his chest strained to keep his roaring heart at bay, “I drove away the woman I wanted to spend my life with because

I was scared, because you made me believe that woman were fickle creatures that had no shame in flaunting lovers,” he heaved, his chest hurting.

Now that he pondered it and realised that he’d had the story mixed up, he could not cease thinking of Mendora. Before thoughts of her were muddled and confused. He couldn’t find it in himself to believe that her love would be enough to keep her loyal to him, to their relationship. But now he felt sick. His stomach turned to think he’d rejected her love on the night of their engagement, especially when he realised his mother became who she was now because her love rejected her.

He had much to do to have Mendora forgive him. But one thing was certain. He did not want anyone else for everyone and everything paled in comparison to her.

“I am to be blamed for a lot too and I cannot begin to ask for your forgiveness,” Dahlia piped up following his father’s descent into silence once more, “but you should not use our messy lives as a road map for yours. You cannot predict pain, disappointment or love. But if you keep running from it all, you’ll always be miserable.” She took a few steps towards him, reaching up on her toes to place a kiss on Solaire’s cheeks, “I would love for your sisters to know you, don’t be a stranger.” She told him and Solaire nodded. He had no hate for Dahlia. His father alone should bear that weight.

***

Without fail Solaire’s very next call was on his mother. This time he found her tending to a newly planted bed of lilies. Regina exclaimed by the sight of Solaire, rising from the ground to run up to him. “What a pleasant surprise,” she smiled and his chest constricted to think of the manner he’d treated her all these years. Especially when she’d always fight against his disdain to remain a part of his life.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me what he did?” no need to mince words for he had the entire trip to think. His mother’s smile faltered, confusion etching itself on her face.

“What are you talking about dearest?”

“I visited my father and found that he’d been hiding an entire family,” his words dulled the light in Reginia’s eyes but she fought to maintain her cheeriness.

“He is your father, Solaire. I could never give you cause to disdain him. Our paths are different now and that is the will of the universe.” Although it was a painful truth to be confronted with. She knew her husband had cultivated a new life for himself for years but the sting of the betrayal never ebbed away. When they were married she was a fool. Smitten and lost in his very being, and even more grateful that he’d made her his Duchess. Her life of love and comfort had been a crumbling illusion.

“Even when he’s been doing that very thing to your image for years?” Solaire could not understand his mother’s lack of anger. All he picked up on was sadness.

“I am a woman; my husband’s infidelity would always be my fault to society. His would be overlooked as his right.” She advised, “although, in my youth I had run wild and that in my mind was to be my revenge, for the world to think him unable to control his own home. I admit I was left with a terrible reputation but such is my luck,” she smiled. Her younger self had much to learn and she was proud of who she became.

“Will you forgive me, mother?” He took both her hands in his and stared into her eyes. Truth is both his parents weren’t perfect but he couldn’t keep punishing his mother for the way she chose to deal with her heartbreak. “I promise to stand at your side firmly, I cannot undo my wrong to you but I will live my life making amends,”

“My sweet child,” Regina pulled him into a hug, “don’t let your mind be burdened, I am simply happy to be a part of your life and your future.”