Chapter 98
“My Lord,” Williams interrupted Solaire’s attempt to drag himself up the winding stairs and to his room. A reoccurring scene over the past three nights, except this time, the sun hung low in the sky and the walls of the stone house were beginning to heat up.
The buzz from the Marquess’ engagement had yet to dull but gossip was already swirling past the news. Most of it due to the Marquess’ seeming disinterest in his bride to be since the announcement.
There had been no formal appearances of the couple of the past three nights, all of which Solaire had been occupying himself with his own endeavours. “The sun is about to come up, should I prepare you breakfast while you freshen up to call on Miss Garrick?” Williams knew his master was not the best complier when it came to social rules but now that the engagement was announced, Solaire had certain obligations.
“I’ve eaten,” A thick rumbling springing from Solaire’s throat as he resumed his drudging up the staircase. He’d not been to see Mendora but she had not been to see him either. He’d spent the last few nights at the club, searching for her among the faceless crowd. Why should he be the first to approach her when she had been the one to disappear from their engagement party?
“Good, then should I ready the carriage for your call to the Garrick house?” Williams slow, sure drawl caressed the words and provided it as though Solaire had no choice in the matter.
“I shall not be calling upon anyone today, Williams.” Solaire shot the man a staggering glance over his shoulders. “Let it be known that I do not wish to be disturbed today.” Gripping the banister, intent on continuing his journey upwards but Williams undeterred voice slithered in the air. “Is your plan to frustrate the family to the point of them breaking off the engagement?”
“However did you arrive at that?” Solaire turned completely around, almost staggering down a step by the rushed movement and also because of the buzzing in his head after a night of drinking.
“For a newly engaged couple, you’ve been parted for too long. Think of the rumours that would affect the young woman’s reputation,” Williams had that stone faced expression that was very characteristic of him while he spoke, “not to mention the lass has garnered the attention of the ton and that also includes other eligible bachelors. Should you neglect your duties before marriage there is no telling what the family will do to secure a better life for their daughter?”
“A better life for their daughter?” Solaire found his blood simmering. “Am I not capable of providing a good life for her?” His insecurities flared once again. All the considerations that had been pulsating in his mind since the engagement had bloomed its poisonous fruits once more.
It was damning in itself for him to entertain such thoughts without aid, but now that one of his most trusted persons were berating him too, Solaire could not find a proper thought to justify himself.
“I am beginning to doubt the emotional aspect, my Lord, and times are changing. Most young women as intelligent as your fiancé might not be ready to settle,”
“Marrying *me* is settling?” Why, he’d never heard such a thing uttered. He’d had been the most sought after bachelor in the ton from the time he was of marrying age. Mothers *begged* him to take their daughters because by association alone, their lives would be better. Titled and privileged beyond compare.
It was a shocking realisation to find his own people considering him to be the unimportant one whenever Mendora was to be used in the same sentence.
“Marrying a man who is more concerned with his ego than longevity of the relationship is settling.” Williams clarified.
“Your advice is to ignore my own concerns?” Solaire questioned incredulously. It seems no one had understood his side or cared to.
“My advice is to communicate. Whatever decision, issues or deal breakers that rear its head, it should be discussed and an outcome given.” Williams provided. “If you have changed you mind about marriage then so be it, but allow the family a chance to save face rather than you ghosting them.”
With Williams words ringing in his head, Solaire rubbed his hands over his face and the stubble that had formed a shadow over his cheeks and chin. “Prepare the carriage, I’ll be done in a few minutes,” he announced, knowing that he would not have a single peaceful moment if he were to remain. Whether that would be challenged by Williams or his own thoughts, Solaire could not be certain.
“Very well, my Lord.” Williams scurried off to exact his master’s wishes.
***
Solaire had refused to seat himself, wondering why the doors opened to reveal Lavinia and not Mendora. Teresa had been following close behind. Her head bowed and her hands clasped in front of her.
Lavinia had taken her sweet time occupying a seat and then pouring herself tea. Solaire had declined her subsequent offer for refreshments and waited.
“My Lord, I am afraid you’ve come too late,” Lavinia sipped her morning tea nonchalantly. It had been three days since the engagement announcement and the Marquess, admittedly, surprised her. Showing up a lot earlier than she had anticipated. Although, three days was already too long.
“Please elaborate, Madame.” He’d given her the floor and also because he was growing rather tense. What had he shown up too late for? Had a unilateral decision already been made regarding the engagement? A lump materialised in his throat, his chest felt heavy as he attempted to inhale a breath.
“Mendora left yesterday to visit our cousin in the country. She’d just had a baby and needed some help,” Lavinia smiled as she laid her teacup down. “I had assumed Mendora would have told you,”
“Ahh,” was Solaire’s only response. Of course she would not inform him. They were hardly on speaking terms. “When should she be back?” he felt it the most natural course of questioning.
“Perhaps a couple of weeks,” Lavinia looked at Teresa for confirmation, but her daughter was not schooled in fibbing and Lavinia could tell Teresa was uncomfortable,
“I can’t be sure, but when she appraises us of the state of her visit we shall be better able to judge,”
“Of course.” He felt it unnecessary to ask whether he should be able to send correspondence. Whatever he had to say to Mendora, words he’d not yet formulated, were better said in person. For now, he’d leave the correspondence to her family. “I appreciate being kept abreast of the matter.” He rose instantly.
***
Solaire’s shoulders slumped, a refreshed breath winding out of his lungs. Mendora’s trip had bought him some time and he could not be more relieved. While he’d been roped into calling upon her at the Garrick house today, there wasn’t an idea in his mind of what to say to her. His own wants and needs taking the fore, muffled and chaotic.
He’d given his word to marry her and yet, promises aside, he could not find it in himself to end the engagement. Even if the world could not understand his concerns, he knew it well enough. Better than anyone else to disregard it.
He was no monster. Acting upon notions that were reprehensible. No, he was human and he had a life of shame and bullying to contend with. No one understood that more than his father. His father who’d packed up and relocated permanently to his country estate. For removed from the wagging tongues and prying eyes of society.
Solaire’s thoughts, since flowing, halted upon the mention of his father. Echoing in his head until he lifted his cane upwards, tapping the roof of the carriage. The driver pulled on the reins, causing the carriage to come to a staggering halt. The young apprentice hopped off and came to the side, “Anything the matter milord?”
“Send word that I am to travel to the country,” he told the boy and he immediately set off.
“To my father’s estate,” Solaire called out to the driver. The man simply nodded and the carriage was moving again. It would take a few days’ journey but Solaire had no better options to explore.
Speaking to his father would clear his head. It would give him the push he needed to do what was right for himself.
***
It had been years since Solaire experienced the quiet that was reminiscent of the country side. There was an eerie peacefulness from the filling sound of leaves rustling in the wind and birds chirping in flight.
The air was fresher to. Pure in a sense.
Once the carriage stopped in front of his father’s estate. Solaire stepped down from the carriage, his hands coming out immediately to prevent the tiniest little girl from running head first into him. “Whoa, there.” He’d bent his knees and lowered himself to her height. “careful you hurt yourself,” she’d been running without a care in the world.
“Sweetie, where are you?” A man called as he came into view.
“I’m here papa,” the girl run off from Solaire, darting directly for the man. Solaire rose to his feet as the man’s steps slowed.
“Solaire, my boy.” The Duke smiled awkwardly, glancing down at the girl who’d wrapped her arms around his leg. “What a surprise.”
“For you or me, father?”