Chapter 87 Chapter Eighty-Seven - Jartre
I appear in a wide open, sparse living room surrounded by walls of stone and endless glass windows that look out onto an incredible mountainside from atop a hill with trees as far as the eye can see. The sound of the rain echoes around this somewhat hollow domain, each drop beating down on the glass ceiling and cascading down like a waterfall all around me.
“What do you want, Jartre?”
I look over to see Oshmin sitting at an oversized dining table, his head buried in his hands while flecks of golden glitter in his azure hair manage to twinkle in the light of such an overcast day. A simple whiff is enough to tell me Yildiz is here too, but as I pay closer attention I can feel her energy emanating from somewhere upstairs.
“I’m sure you would love more than anything to throw me out, and that would be more than fair, but I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to speak,” I say with all the confidence I can muster. I feel like a human child confronting their disappointed parent. It feels revolting.
“And what is it you’d like to say exactly?” he snaps with clear disdain.
“I’m here to set things right,” I announce.
Slowly he glances over at me, his expression unreadable as his blood-red eyes stare through me. “Is that meant to be a fucking joke?”
“Five years ago you tried to offer me an olive branch and I threw it back in your face. After everything I have done to you, and even during that time had continued to do to you, you still made that effort, and I was just too consumed by my betrayal to even appreciate the guts that took. It’s taken a lot of years and the love of an incredible woman – a woman who I wouldn't even have in my life if it weren't for you, and I will forever be grateful to you for returning her to me – but I finally realise it was never your responsibility to do that. It’s always been mine. Gabriella helped me realise I was punishing you in some fucked up and misguided attempt at avoiding my hatred towards Apaki and myself and that wasn’t fair to you,” I admit shamefully.
“You fucking think?!” he shouts, jumping to his feet as the chair he was sitting on goes flying into the wall and crashing into pieces. “How many times did I try to make it clear that I had no idea about you and Apaki? I cared for her, and I thought she cared for me, I hadn’t a fucking clue the game she was playing.”
“I know that! It was…fuck! It was easier to focus my hatred on you because I was in love with her, and that love blinded me.”
“Because she was a manipulative bitch! She used us both and we ended up doing exactly what she wanted which was turning on each other, but her blood ended up on my hands. You didn’t have the balls to kill her yourself so you made me do it for you so you could absolve yourself of blame. Apaki’s death was over in an instant while my curse still lingers and continues to taint everything I love!” he snarls, several sharp fangs revealing themselves as his chest heaves from the rage he feels towards me.
Oshmin hating me isn’t a surprise, but this level of hatred is. Last time we spoke face to face he seemed to be at peace. I know that was a few years ago, but I had thought life with his animai meant he was happier. I feel like I’m missing something.
“That’s why I’m here.” I step towards him, trying to show my sincerity on my face as best I can. “I want to make it right. You never deserved your curse, and I can’t give you back all those years or undo what was done as a result, but I can finally lift your curse and let you be you again. I don’t expect your forgiveness and I know I don’t deserve it, but at least let me give you yourself back,” I plead.
He scoffs, retracting his fangs as he looks out at the expansive view. “You’re a fucking asshole, Jartre. Doesn’t matter how much time passes you still find new ways to fuck with my life and the lives of those around me. You’re truly the God of Destruction because you destroy everything you touch.”
I feel the wind get knocked out of me as his words lance through me. His words are something I have said to myself for thousands of years. I believed with all my being that I wasn’t meant to love or be loved and that all I was, was destruction. Gabriella has tried to tell me otherwise, but it’s hard not to look at my past and believe what Oshmin says.
“You’re right, I fuck up everything I touch and I’m trying…I’m trying really fucking hard to do better. I can promise to stay out of your life, I can…just let me free you first,” I beseech him. I never thought I’d have to beg Oshmin to let me lift his curse. I’d have thought he’d jump at the chance.
Oshmin runs his fingers through his hair and glances up towards the second floor with a pained expression on his face.
“Promise me something.”
“Name it,” I say eagerly.
“You lift my curse,” he says, turning his attention to me. “But you allow me to maintain my dominion over the sanguidae. Lifting my curse doesn’t lift theirs and they still need guidance. So if you can promise that I will still be able to sense and hear all those affected by this curse…then you may proceed.”
“I can do that,” I nod in agreement. That’s not a hard request, I was expecting something worse.
I walk over to him, reaching my hand up, pausing to allow Oshmin the final say. He nods for me to proceed and with his okay, I lay my hand on his forehead. White hot energy surrounds me as I pull on my power and let it shroud him. I feel my power penetrate deep into his being and move through his blood, latching onto the remnants of my power that flows through him and has embedded itself in his DNA. I feel my curse moving through him on a molecular level and just feeling it is like a weight on my chest. I latch onto the curse and will it to return to its source. Black tendrils begin to ooze from every pore in his body and leach out from every orifice, slowly making their way to me like metal being guided towards a magnet. As the tendrils make their way towards me, I reabsorb them back into my body, returning them to whence they came. I feel the cold, darkness of the curse seep back into my being as Oshmin’s fists stay clenched at his side and his face remains strained.
As the final tendril is absorbed into my body, Oshmin’s shoulders slump forward as he places his hands on his knees and catches his breath. I lower my hand as my energy subsides and I shake off the uncomfortable way that felt. Oshmin looks up at me, his once blood-red eyes now back to their bright silver. He takes in a deep, shuddering breath and stands up straight.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I nod.
Oshmin walks over to the window and stares out, watching the rain trickle down the glass. I’ve lifted his curse but there’s no relief or happiness in him.
“This clearly isn’t my business but am I missing something? I’d thought you’d be relieved to finally be free of your curse,” I tentatively say with confusion.
“I’m not relieved because your timing is shit. Thirty-thousands years I lived with this but for the past few years it hasn’t been so bad and if you had just chosen to do this a few months ago…everything would be different.”
“I don’t underst–”
“Yildiz is pregnant.”
His words ring in my ears like a high-pitched bell, my body turning cold with dread as he turns to face me. Pain, sorrow, despair and fear fill his Godly eyes and pierce me like God’s blood.
“Pregnant?” I whisper.
“She found out before the battle, even talked to Zarseti about it, but she kept it hidden from me. She was worried I would force her to sit it out,” he chortles ruefully. “Like I can stop her from doing anything.”
I take a second to listen more intently. I focus past the sound of the rain, the sound of our breathing and the beating of our hearts and focus more on the sounds from upstairs. I can hear Yildiz’s steady breathing indicating sleep and I can hear the beating of her heart but right alongside hers is the steady beating of another heart. A much smaller heart barely developed, but it’s there. A future God waiting to be born…the first to even be born like this. I look at Oshmin in disbelief, but his expression remains unchanging.
“It doesn’t matter that you lifted my curse, Jartre. That curse was in my blood. You cursed my unborn child and not even you can undo that,” he says coldly, rage simmering below the surface. “Neither myself nor Yildiz knows how this curse will affect our baby and Zarseti just gives us cryptic shit. Yildiz is optimistic but I’m not. I know what living with that curse was like and I shudder to think what it will mean for my child. So no, I don’t feel relieved. If anything, you lifting my curse now is just a fucking insult.”
Oshmin makes his way past me, heading upstairs. The beating of his unborn child’s heart taunting me with its faint thumps.
I cursed a foetus…
Their child will be born with a blood curse that will do who fucking knows what to them and it’s my fault. If I had just pulled my head out of my ass sooner none of this would have happened and the worst part is I can’t reverse it. I can remove Oshmin’s curse because he was the subject of it. I placed the curse on him so removing it is simple. But I can’t reverse it from every sanguidae in the world or from his child because it’s tied to their very beings. It’s now a fundamental part of their DNA, they can’t exist without it. It’s the nature of all existence, you can’t mess with the universe and not expect it to find a way to balance shit out. I cursed Oshmin and this is the ramification.
I thought I could atone for my sins…but I don’t think I can ever atone for this.