Whole Again Chapter Twenty - Jennifer POV

I don’t know what they put in the juice, but the pups were crazy today! Don’t get me wrong, I still adore my job, but sometimes these kiddos can require an army to wrangle them. Some days they’re mellow and just want someone to cuddle with them and read them a story. Other days, like today, they’re like jumping beans bouncing off the walls.

I’ve stayed behind today to finish cleaning, so Macy could go home to her animai Kelly since today is their anniversary. I’m trying to scrub away the sticky marks off the tables from where the pups spilled their juice today when I feel something drip on my head. I look up just as I see another drip about to splatter on my face, but quickly dodge it.

“Gotta love those supernatural reflexes,” muses Beatrix.

“Tell that to my hair,” I say as I touch a sticky patch in my hair.

I look up and notice the almost sap-like drops dripping from the ceiling and stare at them in bewilderment.

“How on earth did they get juice on the ceiling?!” I shriek. I’m all for creative expression, but this is going a bit too far.

With a sigh, I make my way to the storage closet to grab a ladder so I can clean the liquid off the ceiling. As I’m carrying the ladder back I hear the front door to the daycare open and close. I internally facepalm at forgetting to lock the door but walk out to see who it is. I nearly drop the ladder when I see Jane Lahde of all people standing at the entrance. Beatrix lets out a low snarl as she crouches down in an attack position in my mind, but I do my best to soothe her through our bond.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” she says with relief.

“You were looking for me?” I ask in surprise as I set up the ladder.

“Well, I wanted to come and see you and I knew you worked here, so I was hoping you’d still be here,” she says a little sheepishly. I’ve known Jane since I was in the first grade and not once have I ever known her to be sheepish.

“Was there something you needed?”

She takes a deep breath and walks over, extending a plate with various snacks that are usually offered at the packhouse dining hall. There are some pork and prawn vermicelli noodle rice paper rolls, some chicken finger sandwiches, some cauliflower cheese balls, and some honey and apple muffins neatly arranged on the plate and covered in saran wrap. Yummo!

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just picked a few different things,” she says with an unsure smile.

With a bright smile, I eagerly take the plate from her, “Thank you! That was so nice of you, these look delicious! But… why are you bringing me food?” I ask curiously.

“I wanted to say thank you, for helping me the other day,” she says as she nervously rubs her arm. I stare at her in confusion. Help? What help? “I dropped all those plates. It was the day you went into heat. You were the only one who helped me,” she says sadly.

“Oh!” I exclaim as the memory finally resurfaces. That’s right, I’d just had a disagreement with Nare over her laughing at Jane. “You didn’t have to do this just because I helped you pick up some broken plates, it wasn’t a big deal,” I say kindly as I put the plate on the table.

“Yes, I did. I know what an absolute bitch I was to you, and you had no reason to help me, but you did anyway. I just wanted you to know that I appreciated it,” she says with a gentle smile.

I look at her with compassion but saddened by her situation.

“Don’t feel sad for her, she did this to herself. Not your monkey, not your zoo,” says Bee fervently as she sits back on her hind legs.

“I’m allowed to have compassion and feel sad for someone whether they brought it on themselves or not. I’m not going to be heartless just because other people want to fight fire with fire, I’m not like that and you know it,” I say, disappointed in Beatrix’s attitude.

“Jennifer, I had to sit back and watch her torment you almost every single day, even after she finished high school, and you never let me come forward to defend you. I was there when you would hide and cry or cry yourself to sleep. I felt every single time you were afraid of seeing her at school or around the pack. I admire your compassion, but I can’t forgive as easily as you can.”

“You forgave Landry,” I remind her.

“Landry made one mistake and rectified it right away. Jane made deliberate and hurtful decisions over and over for 14 years. You can’t compare the two,” she argues.

I sigh, “Perhaps not, but she’s putting in the work to make it right, and that’s what I care about.” I give Jane a kind smile, “Well, thank you for the snacks, they’re very appreciated. I didn’t eat much today, so this is great.”

She smiles, pleased to know she did a good deed, and that makes me smile wider while Beatrix grumbles.

Jane sighs and walks closer, “Could I ask you something?”

“Sure. I just have to clean up this mess at the same time, but I’m listening,” I say as I grab the sponge and climb up the ladder.

I feel my heart pick up speed when I see Jane come towards the ladder, but I let out a breath when I see her simply hold the ladder to keep it steady for me.

“See! You thought she was going to push it,” cries Beatrix.

“I had a momentary concern based on past events, but as you can see, she did not push me, so stop being a Negative Nelly,” I chastise her.

“As I’m sure you know, my animai rejected me,” she says with a shuddering breath. My stomach drops and I nod sadly as I clean up the drink patches from the ceiling. “I accepted, of course, but Michael…” Tears pool in her eyes the moment she says his name, and I immediately feel a distant echo of that same pain. I remember that feeling. Just the thought of Landry’s name once had the power to break me into pieces.

I step down from the ladder and give her an empathetic look, “You don’t have to say his name, I understand how painful it is.”

She takes in a deep breath, “He kept dropping hints that it wasn’t just my overall attitude that prompted him to reject me, but something specific. I want to respect his space, and I know he wants nothing to do with me, but I’m trying so hard to atone for my actions, but how can I atone for them if I don’t know what I did wrong?”

I blink at her in surprise and even Beatrix looks stunned. “He didn’t tell you?”

“Wait, you know?!” She cries, grasping my wrists in desperation, “Please, Jennifer. I know you owe me nothing, but please tell me what I did. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Now this I don’t agree with at all. He broke her very soul and her wolf who was innocent in all of this. I understand it was his choice, but does he need to torture them like this? He should tell her about Nare,” Beatrix says in disapproval and this time we agree.

I look back at the torment in Jane’s eyes and I see a version of myself I don’t ever want to see again. I want so badly to tell her and free her of this torture, but it’s not my story to tell. We’re talking about Nare’s very medical history, and that’s something I have no right to discuss with anyone behind her back, let alone the person who caused it.