Chapter 45

“Van! Mom’s leaving!” A shrill scream engulfed the whole house, I even frowned because I heard them running out of bed carrying slippers.

“You’re not coming. I’m just shopping. Just read here,” I ordered while looking for my slippers.

Inah frowned automatically while Van waved and took my pouch on the sofa. I can clearly see the difference between the two, especially now that they are three years old. But instead of being happy, I wanted to give them away because they were so ugly, especially Inah. It looks like Nikasha is ready to debate.

“I’m fine, I won’t take a lot of candy,” she muttered, wearing her slippers.

I just sighed. Did uncle stress me the same way back then? I approached the two of them up to my thigh. They can now speak directly and what is worse is that they speak very little Spanish, English and Tagalog. In Tagalog, there is no problem because it is only right for them to learn. But in English and Spanish, Cyron and Mama A, influenced them especially since we rarely speak like that.

“Inah. Don’t be naughty, just come here and wait for your Grandma, she’s just talking to someone outside,” I said calmly as I forced them to sit on the sofa.

Inah’s mouth was still arched and she was obviously crying so I quickly widened my eyes. “Let’s leave Inah. We’ll give it to her—”

“Inah isn’t coming anymore,” she said confusedly, whimpering.

I smiled then stood up. I heard Van laugh because of the look of his twin. Inah just looked at Van wickedly before looking up at me again.

“Wait for me here. Just read your books or play, I’ll just wait. Kiss mama,” I sniffed slightly.

Inah kissed quickly without removing the frown and Van as if nothing had happened. Smiling just teasing the brother. I safely left the building. I only have a few things to buy, and other ingredients that Lana and I will need to cook. There wasn’t any celebration but since they were all there later, we would get ready. I make a good income as a freelancer, I just swallowed my pride to sell some of my design works.

I’ve been doing that for two years now especially, two years have passed since I was fired. I can say that I paid more attention to the two kids who became more inquisitive. I don’t know if I still have a conscience because I didn’t even answer their questions about where their father was. I’m just passing you through the game and soothing them.

I stopped walking when I saw my own reflection on a glass wall whose contents were pure clothes. There’s one of my work and my name is below. I couldn’t help but smile because somehow there was still a trace left that I was a part of that job. I can clearly see how I lost weight, this is my body when I was a young woman.

Many people say that it is not obvious that I have a child because of the shape of my body which made it very difficult for me to return. After I was able to shop I walked again. I prefer to walk because I can because it’s close to our building. Having been here for almost four years, I can only say this year I felt comfortable even though I knew in myself I was hiding something.

During the four years I have been homeless in the Philippines, I can say that I have been enlightened by everyone… I hope I have been really enlightened. Our life is easy even though I have a small income, it’s funny to think that I wouldn’t have saved anything if we went home to the Philippines this year because until now we have only been extended here in Spain. Last year we were here. And this time, I didn’t have to run anymore because those two years were enough to think and make a decision.

I stopped walking when my eyes hit the balcony at the top of the building. I was just shocked because there were two kids there who had something to look for because they were looking around. I even noticed their slight waving from the other building and there I learned that they were waving at the Spaniard couple.

Kids really.

Even before they could see me I quickly entered the building, Inah’s voice was loud especially when shouting. When I got to the top everyone first opened up to me laughing, sitting on the sofa and Mama A and Lana were at the table with sliced ​​vegetables. Alenna quickly stood up next to her cousin and then helped me with my chores.

“They’re looking for you,” Mama A whispered on the balcony.

There were still two people who obviously hadn’t noticed me entering, they were all waving to people they didn’t know, especially to people who also peeked at the other building. I just smiled at Mama A then changed my clothes, I carefully closed the door then took black shorts and the thin t-shirt. I even smiled in front of my reflection because I look like a real girl, probably with my short hair that is only up to my shoulders. I feel like I’m broken.

“Oh my god!” I tightly covered part of my chest and the clothes I was supposed to be wearing fell because of the sudden opening of the door.

Astonished, she closed it and then slowly approached the clothes that had fallen and handed them to me.

“Are you scared mom?” its snout question that looked up.

Who wouldn’t be surprised if the door suddenly opens. “Mother, next time, you’ll knock first before you open the door, obviously? It’s not good for you to come in, do you understand?” I said calmly as we faced the mirror. I stared at the reflection of my son who was just staring at me, as if studying how I was going to wear the outer garment.

After a while he looked down at my lower back then tilted his head and looked at me again. “Mom?” she was pulling at the hem of my dress.

“Hmm?” He snorted then stared at my bottom, I don’t know what he was thinking. Or, he will probably ask again.

“Is this where Banban and I are coming out?” she gasped and said that she was teaching my private part.

I just pinched it now biting my thumb while waiting for me to answer. “Yes.” But instead of being satisfied she tilted her head, looking like she would ask again.

“That Banban and I can’t fit in there, mama,” she nodded.

I turned to face the three-year-old girl with pitch black hair up to his waist. She was wearing a white Victorian nightgown.

“Because before, you were still a baby, so Van can fit,” clarified kor then took the comb.

“Does papa fit in there too?” No doubt its question reason to swallow me.

I sat on the bed with a sigh and then he approached me, I turned it slightly so that I could comb her hair that was so messy.

“No. She doesn’t fit in,” I answered simply.

“Dad, too?” she second answer made me nervous.

She no longer knew what she was asking. I also don’t know if I should answer this.

“A-Ahm, no.” I only received a nod here and never asked again.

I don’t get dressed up with information about their father, I answer whenever they ask what their father looks like, what they look like or what. It’s like I’m just looking at them. Could it be that my twins and I were like that when we were little? Could this be the same question we asked? I just avoided asking them what their father’s name was. I’d rather not just answer than make up a story I can’t stand.

I let Inah out of the room but Mama A came in. I know that’s what we’re going to talk about again. As usual, she sat down next to me, old age was obvious to her but because of her self-care others would not notice it.

“Have you fixed all the paperwork?” it’s a gentle question.

Her warm hand she applied to my palm. I nodded weakly in agreement.

“You know that’s all I can do to help you here in Spain, you know I did everything,” she said tearfully with her eyes already wet.

I nodded weakly and then lay down on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You just helped me,” I said softly.

“Have you talked to your siblings and uncle yet?” it asked me.

For some unknown reason, the corners of my eyes suddenly became hot. I feel like all the misfortune came the last two years, when two kids got seriously ill, I was fired from my job, and they found out the truth.

Yes, they already knew the truth two years ago. I can’t forget how I heard so many questions from my Uncle, the sermon to Nikasha, Zeren just kept quiet about what he found out and I’m sure other people in the mansion already knew it, but like Zeren, they just kept quiet… I couldn’t help but think that because of that I was forced not to talk to them. Yes, to avoid tension, I chose not to talk to them for a year after I explained. But as I do with children, I did not say who the father was because I did not want to get into trouble.

“They can’t be angry with you Veron, they’re just so shocked. Especially your uncle after he finds out everything. Those people will be happy when you call them,” she said softly.

I chose not to talk to them and calm everyone down, I thought they would send me home was the opposite. “You decide whether you come home here or not with your children, we don’t care about the father of those children if you are not held accountable.” One word Nikasha left before I cut off communication with them. “They always asked me if you’re okay, especially your Uncle. They want you to go home, in Mansion.”