Chapter 41

I lightly pat the buttocks of my kids who are sideways to sleep. My two hands seem to be tireless because I’ve been kissing them before. They want to sleep at the same time and I can lift them at the same time. In the middle of my soft singing it stopped due to a sudden knock on the door.

I looked at it in surprise but before I could get out of bed Mama A appeared there. It signaled if he could come in so I nodded quickly. Fortunately, Mama A caught up with the two children who were awake earlier so they were still playing so maybe they were tired. He had just arrived from another country with Alenna.

“You look exhausted, aren’t you resting yet?” she asked softly, caressing my cheek.

I shook my head slowly then slowly looked at the children I was still tapping. There is no time to rest.

“Why did you stay in Paris so long?” I change the question.

She just looked at me and gave me a bitter smile then stood up on the bed and averted its gaze. She tightened her grip on herself even more because of the gust of wind that entered the room because the balcony was open. I decided to cover the two children and slowly left there, then approached Mama A.

“It was just a little bit of a problem, but everything is okay,” she said with a smile.

Tiredness is obvious in its appearance, but even so, there is no denying that it has a beautiful complexion. It looks like a virgin. I don’t know what my Aunts look like now.

“Today is February 11, the children are one year old and you will be here for almost two years. Any plan? You only have three years left if you ever pass all your works,” she asked weakly, looking up just outside the balcony.

I smiled bitterly. If they only knew I wanted to tell the truth but I was scared. I still don’t have enough courage to face uncle. I don’t look like I can face their father anymore because I heard that they are getting married soon. I just stared at the building in front of us, at the room where my children often stared. I bet I might give up the answer and the courage. I have a decision. Yes that’s right, maybe this decision of mine was right.

“Your kids are growing up, especially Inah who is based on Lana, often say ‘papa’. Don’t wait for one of the kids to ask you where their dad is,’” she calmly but felt cermon Mama A.

It kissed my forehead and then whispered to me what, I no longer knew what it was. As long as all I knew was that I was left alone on the balcony, in front of a room with a familiar shadow that knew if looking at my habit. I can’t blame Mama A for why she is in such a hurry to tell the truth. She has a point, the kids are growing up and Van is becoming inquisitive.

My mind was interrupted when the light in the front room suddenly went out. I also decided to enter the room and close the sliding door. I didn’t say goodbye to them, I just let them talk in the living room and just sit next to my children. I was dazed by a light that haunted my eyes, even with my eyes closed I could feel it that would suddenly disappear and be dazzled again. Because my body was so flat, I tilted I was on the left and I was so nervous when I was able to be without the two children. I woke up quickly and I just felt my night dress was very wet especially on the chest.

“Mama! Ahmm… Moyning,” Inah shouted enthusiastically in front of the sliding door.

Even mumbling it was still trying to greet me. “Happy Friday twins,” I said with a smile that was still sticky.

Inah was applauded and then went back to what she was doing, holding her doll while Van was holding a car. I just sighed because of the way they both looked, they both had milk stains on their lips that I was obviously discarding again while I was sleeping. I lazily removed the scattered dolls on the bed that should not have been placed there. The room was so cluttered that it was obvious they had taken out all the other toys. I noticed Van standing up and carrying a crumpled piece of paper.

“Hey, what’s this?” I’m referring to Van’s hold.

“Tata L-Lana … give you,” he stammered and then stretched his snout with milk.

I spontaneously bent down to meet its snout. After I kissed it smiling he sat down again and then played.

{Hey! Don’t come in first, Sir said, I don’t know why. Just rest first, Happy sleeping Mama.}

I only read it a few times and then decided to stand up. It’s also good for me to rest because tomorrow is weekends, there’s no school. First I cleaned the whole room, I noticed that the dakawa was staring at me and then they would imitate me, wherever I go and whatever I do they imitate.

“Hey, don’t fight! Oh my god!” I rebuked and quickly went to them.

I quickly picked up the broom that Inah was supposed to hit on Van. “That’s bad Inah, okay? You’re not going to do well,” I said seriously.

I saw its silence then nodded unaware of what was happening. I left them both in the room. But even before I left, I noticed Inah hugging her brother. When they were young I taught them the things they should say and do, there were times I slapped Inah’s hand because she often quarreled with Van over toys. While cooking I heard a faint laugh coming from them, I just ignored it because maybe there were more birds lying on the balcony that they often had fun with. Inah also often talks to them and seems to be the only one who understands.

When I finished all my work, I decided to take them out of the building, so that somehow they could breathe a different air and play with other children.

“Hello!” greetings of an old woman we met. Inah waved quickly, so did Van who smiled slightly.

When I took them to the 1st floor they were quickly called by the older couple who often played with the children, there were also other children there who were obviously excited because of my children’s running. I just shook hands with the other parents and elders there when they called me because I didn’t want to be crowded in their place, and one more thing they might tempt me again and take me to some young man who lives in the same building. I just sat to one side, enough for me to see the smiling kids staring at the kids, so maybe it becameg my children will talk, because of them.

“Hi Mrs,” a voice came in front of me.

I just stared at it then laughed and shook. “You have a problem Melody?” I asked in the house next to mine who also lives.

“Nothing, do you want coffee? I’ll take you while your little one is playing,” she said with a wink.

“Oh go ahead, that’s delicious,” I said laughing then she turned me around and left.

I just distracted myself with texting while waiting for Melody, I also couldn’t help but cringe and sigh when I saw a large sum of money coming in again from my account. It must have come from uncle. I have talked to him several times so that I don’t think about it, especially financially, because maybe later what my other siblings will think. But since he is my Uncle, he is the one to follow, I just don’t move his money so that no one can say anything.

I smiled when I felt a presence approaching me, maybe Melody was carrying the coffee. “Your kiddos looks like you.”

“Thank you,” I replied quickly without even looking at who said.

That’s not Melody. From my nod I noticed its shoes familiar to me, trembling that I turned off the cellphone to focus on the person in front of me. Fear, nervousness and panic make me laugh now, the cold air coming from the snow only increased when our eyes met forever.

“They have an alluring face… Like you,” he added, which made me even more weak.

“Z-Zaffiro.”