Chapter 36: Heartbreaking

Mel's PoV

Until now I still resent that woman.

"What did she want to say earlier?" I asked in my mind and then I opened the door of my brother's room and I saw Alex looking at my brother again.

"Alex," I called and he turned around. He seemed even more surprised at what he saw and quickly ran towards me and immediately hugged me tightly.

"W-what's up Alex," I moaned but he didn't let me go.

"Sorry Mel," I heard him say sobbing.

"W-wait a minute," I said further and pushed him hard. He didn't resist about it and he let me go.

"I remembered, I remembered about the days we were together. I remembered about all Melody Suarez," he said and suddenly my tears flowed without me being aware.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked in astonishment. Too many questions entered my brain. My feelings were unclear, I feel dubious right now.

"I'm sick.. I was sick then," he said first and he sat down on the couch. I didn’t move from where I was standing and just watched him sit on the couch dripping his tears.

"My mom herself said I had amnesia.. so.. so that's the reason why I forgot about you then, and now I remembered all about you... Mel? Why didn't you tell me?" the words he utters are too vague. It's as if my ear doesn't want to receive it now, it's as if my brain doesn't want to receive what he's saying.

"Wait.. j-just a moment," I stammered while still holding my chest and my tears were flowing.

"Wha.. w-wha.. what happened.. what did I saw back then? Huh?" I said and I felt the pain again the day I saw them. I took a deep breath first so I could speak properly.

"How can you... explain what I saw? The woman you kissed?" I tried not to break my voice. Deep down I wanted to get lost and scream because of how I was feeling right now.

"How? Please tell me," I begged and my voice began to broke itself.

"That.. that's when my sickness attacked, that's when it started. I thought then that you were the one who pulled me, so I kissed her back and softly.. touched her head," he explained tearfully and my tears flowed even more.

"When I realized that it wasn't you, it started there.. that's when it all started, all of a sudden it my vision turned around and it got dark around me. You weren't there.. I had nothing to lean on and say what I wanted to say. I just woke up in the hospital and suddenly remembered your appearance, but little by little I've forgotten everything," he explained as he bent down and then looked at me. As if I don't have strength in my legs and then suddenly I began to sit down slowly.

It only hurts me more when I see him.

"Is it my fault? Is it my fault that I didn't find out the reason why he did that first? Isn't it reasonable that I left that day? Am I being too selfish?" questions running through my brain. I have nothing to say now, I can't think any words to say at him right now.

"Mel? Why didn't you tell me, Mel?" he asked desperately and I just looked him in the eye.

"Why? Because I forgotten about you, I forgot about you! You don't know how hurt I was the day I saw you! It's like heaven and earth fell on me that time Alex! Do you know? How I suffer? Even that time my age was only twelve," my selfish question and I know it. I know all the answers to my questions in my brain right now.

"I'm sorry," he said and burst into tears.

Too much time passed before I got up from the floor where I seated earlier because I was just crying. I took a deep breath before swallowing my stale saliva.

"Let's forgive ourselves, I forgave you before and I also I forgotten you already. Thank you so much for letting me know why you did that. I hope you can forgive me for forgetting and not talking to you then," I said as I left my older brother's room. I'm still carrying my bag and I can't figure out where I'm going with it. I just sat in their empty chair here and pondered what I should do. Now I understand everything, everything about why he did that.

"Maybe I'm the only one who did something wrong. Maybe I was wrong not to talk to him before, why he did that. Maybe it's really my fault. I lied so much about the words I left to him before, I thought I forgot about him already? Tch! I was twelve years old then but maybe everything I feel is valid? It's not easy to forget the first one you loved, I just wanted to be a hotdog right now," words, phrases, questions that bother my mind now. I just let out a sigh and wiped the corners of my eyes.

I took the cellphone out of my pocket and checked the time and was about to get upset. I just went out first to change my mood, I have to be happy when I face my brother. I don’t want to add to his grief even more.

While walking I felt someone following me, I stopped and slowly picked up my cellphone and pretended that someone was calling. This is the only way I can escape from such people.

"Good evening? Yes, I'm on my way," I said as I hurriedly walked and mingled with the crowd. I also put down my cell phone and put it back in my pocket. I first went where there were more people and waited a while there before I walked again and looked for food to buy.

I didn't feel him again so I was relieved, I also bought fruit that was plentiful with water and I bought something to eat. I just bought the ones I had to buy then went back inside the hospital. I never felt him again so I'm more sure that no one is following me now. When I entered my older brother's room, Alex was gone. After I prepared the things I bought I ate because I feel so tired and hungry now.

"Does crying affect me too much? Also too much thinking?" I asked in my mind but I immediately pushed the negative thoughts I had in the back of my brain and then eat peacefully.