Chapter 36 Chapter 35:
Devon:
I am not quite sure how to react when someone- apparently, this someone turns out to be the mother of your child tells you she’s going out on a date with someone, and that someone is not you.
For a moment, mixed emotions flushes through me. A date? With who? My jaw tightens and I am sure Arya notices because she takes a step back, I can feel the dryness of my throat, it makes me question if she’s scared of me.
“Arya.” I begin unevenly, there’s a sparkle in her eyes as she breathes in sharply, “the media has the impression that we are dating, it could turn into a scandal if you go out on a date.” Why does the thought of her having to smile at another man make me want to punch a hole in the wall?
She blinks steadily, avoiding eye contact. “Well Jim is a businessman, besides we are having dinner at his house.”
An unknown alarm rings in my head, throbbing so hard. At his freaking house? Hell no.
“No.” My voice comes out harder than expected and she looks at me in surprise.
“What?”
“You are not going out on a date with an unknown man at his house, Arya.” I cram my knuckles together, but she shrinks further away, it hurts, doesn’t she know?
I don’t think it’s fair that she gets to go out, have dinner, have fun with a man I don’t freaking want to know while I get to sit here and deal with all these rushed emotions.
It hurts.
“Devon, this is my life, and just because we are co-parenting doesn’t mean I can’t find love.”
There. She said it; she has no intention of ever finding love with me, hell who does? Can I even find love? Is it possible for people like me? People who are broken, angry at life.
“I will leave you to your date then.” I walk past her, my body suddenly feeling heavy; I pass Vera in the living room, playing with her bricks of toys. The moment she sees me, her green eyes shimmers with care as if she’s trying to ask me if I am okay.
I just pause and desperately want to tell her, ‘No, daddy is not okay at all.’ My chest feels so tight, it seems like I am going to have a panic attack, it’s been long since I had that chest wrenching pain.
I sit on the floor and just watch my daughter engage in her play. Sitting like this with Vera is what I have always craved, that bonding moment I can’t ever get with anyone. My phone rings and the caller ID flashes Liam.
I am not sure if I am in the mood to speak with my brother right now, but still, I pick up the call.
“Hey,” He says with a curt British accent, it’s still a surprise to me how my brother hurriedly picked up their accent. “I am lonely, can I come over?”
Absolutely not, “No.” I reply.
“I don’t need your permission. I am already in front of your door.” On cue, the doorbell rings and I groan inwardly, I don’t want any of this; I don’t want my brother here snooping around on my business. Opening the door, he smirks and shoves me away.
“Vera!” He yells with excitement and swoops Vera into the air, she giggles, flapping her hands around. I stand, looking at them. Seeing my brother laughing so carelessly helps lessen the tension in my system, maybe he isn’t so bad after all.
He drops her on the sofa and faces me, “How come you haven’t read any of my books?”
Okay, I take it back.
“Why are you at my house?”
“I think twins are supposed to bond more, you get what I am saying?” I really don’t. “So, I am here. Let’s gist, have some wine and play games.”
I think something is wrong with my brother, first of all he shows up at my house in an oversized white shirt and Capri trousers, demanding we have fun?
“Have you been drinking?” I ask, as he shuffles into the kitchen.
“Nope!” He yells back, he returns later holding a bottle of wine and two glasses. If he thinks I am drinking today, then he’s out of his mind.
As Liam pours himself a glass of wine, Arya appears, her black heels clicking softly against the floor, her dress hugging her figure in all the right places. I freeze; she didn’t look like that when she told him she was going out. She looks breathtaking, with smoky eyes and lips coated in nude lipstick.
Liam looks at Arya, and I want to order him to get out of my house right now. “You are a sight for sore eyes, going somewhere fancy?” He then looks me over, shaking his head.
“Yes,” she smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. We are all uncomfortable in this setting. “Glad that you could keep Devon busy,” oh great, now she’s feeling pity for me, without sparing me a glance, she rushes to the door and leaves.
Liam’s brows knit together in confusion as he looks at me once again. I can tell he’s enjoying this. “Well, that was interesting. Care to explain why Arya’s dressed to kill and why you look like you’ve been hit by a truck?”
I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “She’s going out on a date.”
“A date?” Liam repeats, widening his eyes in mock shock. “With a man? What an outrage.”
I shoot him a glare. “I am not in the mood, Liam.” I slump on the chair, Vera looks already tired since it’s almost her bed-time.
Liam leans forward, his grin fading slightly. “Okay, okay, I’ll be serious, why does this bother you? I thought you two were...you know, co-parenting and those civil stuffs.”
I exhale slowly, “It’s not just about me, I don't know anything about this guy, she won’t even tell me his name! What if he’s a threat to Vera’s safety?”
Liam smirks, “Or maybe you are just jealous.”
“Shut up,” It’s really surprising why Liam is in a playful mood, he’s rarely in a playful mood. He’s never in a mood.
“Sure, you’re not.” Liam says, leaning back on the chair. “If you’re this worked up about Arya seeing someone else, maybe it’s time to figure out why.”
My head snaps towards my brother, “She’s not seeing him.”
“See? That right there is jealousy. Don’t let your pride be the reason you lose her, if you want her, then prove it with actions. You can’t sit around with your folded arms and expect her not to leave, life doesn’t work that way, we want something? We fight for it.”
I let the words reason into me, Liam’s right. I don’t know what this is- this pull she has on me. I can’t name it but I know it’s real. I want to see her smile, hear her laugh and feel her warmth when everything else in my world feels cold. It’s maddening really, all these jumbled up emotions.
“What now?” I contemplate asking my brother for help, but I don’t think so. Liam is not exactly the person to give advice, all the things he just spurted out, I have no idea where they are from.
“First, I am going to grab a beer and then we are going to order some food, and watch some movies, of course. I will pick it out.” He stands up from the couch and stretches, I watch him pad across the living room towards the kitchen, but then he stops and faces me.
“We good, Devon?” His question comes as a surprise but I sigh and nod my head.
“We are good.”
He smiles a bit. “I never did get the chance to apologize properly, but I am sorry I left, it wasn’t right of me, but let’s look at the bright side, at least I became a best-selling author and you are working your butt off to be elected back at CEO, which by the way is when?”
I glare hard at him and he takes the moment to laugh. “In the next few weeks, I am competing with Theodore Duncan and Phoebe Galindo.”
“What happened to the rest?” His brows knit together in confusion.
“One withdrew and the other is dead now.” I bow my head thinking of Maryanne, Xavier and Leto are still trying their best to locate the silver viper’s leader, I look up at Liam. “Any chance do you remember someone named Maryanne? She used to take pictures of us when we were little.”
Liam shakes his head, curling his fists together tightly. “Not that I know of, why?”
“I will tell you later.”
He nods and disappears into the kitchen, Vera is still distracted by her game, maybe this does feel normal after all.
We spent the next few hours eating and drinking- just Liam, and watching comedy shows, again Liam’s pick. We wrapped up the night by putting Vera to sleep together. She yelled the most during bath time, and I do agree that it was a pleasure seeing my brother’s face covered in shampoo.
“Nighty,” Liam tells my daughter, kissing her forehead and draping the blanket over her body. I stand by the doorway, observing everything.
“You sure make a good father.” I say to him when he joins me in the door.
“No, thank you.” He scoffs, shoving me out of the doorway, “Not going to lie, but I am happy being an Uncle, but I can’t even picture myself falling in love with someone, doesn’t look like it’s going to work for me.”
Joining him in the living room, I ask. “Are you getting ready to leave?”
“Yes, I have had too much beer anyways and Arya will be arriving soon.” He yawns, “I have to get back to my hotel room.”
I sigh, “You are always welcome at my house, Liam. Anytime.”
“I know, even if I am not welcome. I am going to find a ticket in.” He grinds and I frown, he leaves my house still laughing like a lunatic.
It dawns on me that Arya will arrive anytime soon, anxiety fuels me over as I piece together everything I am going to say, should I act cool or otherwise? What the hell is wrong with me?
For a moment, I consider calling my brother and asking for help over the phone, but he will probably laugh at me. So, I take a few breaths, research the internet for a while, however the internet search result keeps bringing out obnoxious suggestions.
In the middle of ‘researching’, the door chimes open and Arya walks in, the time strikes ten. For a moment, I stand rigid, my phone innocently in my hand, we lock eyes and she sucks all the breath out of me.
“Hey.” She parts her mouth gently and different thoughts start to swim in my head. How’d her date go? Did they kiss? Did they have a fun time together and is she still meeting Jim again?
The thought prickles at my skin, making me very uncomfortable.
“Hello.” I say back.
She nods and heads towards the kitchen, I follow her silently watching as she pours herself a glass of water, her cheeks are flushed, possibly from laughter or wine. The thought of another man putting that look on her face makes my jaw tighten.
“Did you enjoy your time with Liam?” She asks, turning to face me.
“We had fun,” I say, my voice low, if fun means my brother giving me love advice. We had plenty of fun.
“I can’t do this anymore, Arya.”
“Do what?” Her hand falters slightly, but she recovers quickly, setting the glass down on the counter.
I step into her space, my hands finding her waist. In one smooth motion, I lift her onto the kitchen island, her breath hitching as the cool marble meets her skin.
“Devon-” She begins, her tone sharp, but I cut her off with a look, my hand braced on both sides of the island.
She blinks, confusion flickering across her eyes. “Do what?”
“This co-parenting thing.” My voice softens as I lean in closer, “It’s not enough for me.”
Her lips part slightly, but she doesn’t speak, her eyes searching mine for answers.
“I don’t want to see you go on dates with other men. I want more, I want us, Arya.”
“Devon...” Her voice is barely audible, her tone unreadable.
I take a step closer, leaning in until our faces are inches apart. “Tell me now, Arya. Do I have a chance with you?”