Chapter 35 Chapter 34:
Clara:
I can barely sleep, no amount of pills has changed the fact that I am covering up a lie.
To everyone, Kevin Lere is alive, an alcoholic, but is going through rehab but only Anna and I know that Kevin isn’t alive, and his body may or may not be buried where I don’t know.
Aside from the day I received Anna’s text, I haven’t seen her, she texts me occasionally about our normal stuff, as if nothing happened. Yesterday, I was scared to my bones when I was out shopping and one of my classmates approached me, with a sad smile, asking about Kevin.
I panicked, I wanted to open my mouth and tell her right there that Kevin wasn’t in rehab, he was dead, I could almost imagine the look of horror on her face, concentrating on work has been much harder, I go in very early and leave very late.
“Clara, are you even listening to any word I said?” Chloe asks me, masking her frown with a hard smile; I know she’s annoyed since I haven’t really been paying attention. It’s one of those days we meet up in Golden Retreat and talk about our lives, but I can’t seem to understand what they are saying when my mind has traveled a long way.
“Are you okay, Clara? You look tense.” Charlotte taps her freshly manicured finger on the table, drawing my attention.
“I am fine,” bile rises up to my throat as I force the words out.
They both nod their heads and my breath comes out shaky, I realize that I can’t do this, I can’t sit with my sisters and pretend that everything is okay, grabbing my purse, I force myself to stand up.
“I am feeling feverish, I think I am going to go home and lie down.” I tell them, Chloe’s face softens.
“You have always been the most fragile; just take care of yourself, okay?” She smiles at me. Gathering up my things, I rush out of Golden Retreat, tears are swelling up at the corner of my eyes as I try to increase my steps, unknowingly my body bumps into a hard figure.
“I am so sorry.” My body is literally quaking, what’s wrong with me? Why am I behaving like this?
“Clara?” Axel’s voice is both familiar and grounding, pulling me back into reality, my heart pounds louder in my chest. “What are you doing here?”
I look up, catching a flicker of surprise in his eyes, he’s dressed casually in a fitted dark denim jacket over a black T-shirt, with chinos that hug his form just right, he looks effortlessly handsome and even the sight of him makes me lose my breath.
“I was having lunch with my sisters here,” I reply, trying to sound cheerful but a tear slips down my cheeks unknowingly, damn it. Axel takes a step closer, his cologne filling my nose, one hand rests on my quaking shoulders and my breath comes out in a gasp.
“Why are you crying?” His voice sends a mix of warmth and anxiety through me. “Are you okay?”
I don’t remember the last time someone asked me how I was doing, even if they did, they didn't mean it, it’s that automated response ‘I am fine’ isn’t that what we always say?
“I am not fine,” Being vulnerable in front of anybody is something I rarely do, but the way he’s looking at me like he really wants to know how I am doing.
His eyes search mine and he exhales slowly, picking out his phone, he dials a number, “Kim? Can you reschedule my meeting for an hour, thanks.”
Wait...Is he rescheduling his meeting because of me? Why? Why does he keep being nice to me despite everything I have done?
“Come,” He whispers gently, pulling me by the hand. Am I really holding Axel’s hand? Damn, it feels so firm and soft.
“What are we doing?” I ask, following him.
“Taking a walk.” He says simply, “Sometimes, whenever I feel stressed out, taking walks is what I do whenever I feel overwhelmed.” We both descend into silence, quietly walking through the street. A few eyes are on us, and I am sure there are some undercover reporters following us around.
It won’t be a surprise if there’s a tabloid about us tomorrow morning.
Somehow, it feels amazing walking hand in hand with Axel, just clearing my head, taking deep breaths and staring into space.
“Thank you.” After a void of silence, I say. “This really helped me.” However, the question is still bothering me, why?
Why is he being nice to me?
“No problem.” He stops dead in his step, turning towards me. “Work can be stressful, I guess.”
“Yeah.” I say, getting lost in his brown eyes, they are striking to me.
He raises a brow, taking a step closer so that he’s standing right in front of me, my height barely reaches his shoulder level, so I have to look all the way up to see his face. “You do know how crazy the internet is, right? Thousands of people are going to stare at us holding hands in their phones tomorrow, hell a paparazzi might have taken our photo and we might have no idea.”
He’s right on that part, to be more frank, Axel’s the one reporter is chasing about, willing to get a dig into his personal life. He maintains his privacy like his life depends on it, so any reporter who manages to get this story has hit the gold.
“Golden Retreat is having a party soon; do you want to go with me? give the public a little bit of entertainment?”
It strikes me; is Axel asking me to be his date? All the breath might as well have been knocked out of my lungs. I swallow hard as he dips my chin slowly, letting me to look into his eyes, fuck. This man is beautiful, his brown tousled hair frames his face and his brown molten eyes hold me captive.
He searches my eyes and I feel a thrill run through me. “What’s your answer, Cee?”
“Cee?” I am taken aback by this new name.
He looks around, before leaning in. “Sounds like a sexy nickname.”
Heat floods my face as I stare at him, what’s wrong with Axel? One time, he’s being all smart and the other time, is he flirting with me?
“Your answer?” Axel levels me with a cool stare.
“Yes?” I swallow, his close proximity affecting me.
He winks at me, before turning, “Will text you the details later.” He waves at me before walking away, I can only stare in surprise, clutching my beating heart.
What the fuck is going on?
\--
Arya:
“Guess what, I secured you a date.” Emma is grinning ear to ear, and Nicole rolls her eyes in a not so comfortable manner and Emily signals to the waiter, it’s Friday evening, after another stressful day of work.
Emma wanted us all to go out, have some girl time, fortunately, Wanda decided to tag along. We are in Imperial Restaurant, huddled together by a booth drinking wine and laughing like teenage girls, sometimes I can say that I miss this whole experience, we didn’t all attend college in the same area, we all went our separate ways, but those four years didn’t keep us distant from each other one bit.
The waiter comes to our side and after we each order what we want, Emma continues talking.
“His name is Jim.”
“I don’t always like Jims.” Nicole cuts in, her voice cold. “You remember the last thing I did to my date? It went on the news.”
Emily giggles into her glass of water.
“It’s not for you, pigs will fly the day you decide to date someone.” Emma says and Wanda barks out a fit of laughter, Nicole’s face reddens and she scoffs.
“It’s not my fault all the boys are immature to date.” She says.
“The date is for Arya.” Every eye turns towards me and I blink in surprise.
“Me?” I ask, what the hell do I need a date for? I don’t need any Jim, thank you very much.
“Yes, he is a business partner, just came back from Germany and we were talking. I just brought your name up casually and he wants to have dinner with you tonight.” Emma smiles so brightly, Emily turns towards her and they do some sort of girl giggle, they have always been the one passionate about romance, it’s like they live for it.
Don’t get me wrong; this thing called love sometimes can be a dangerous thing, it can be safe, it can be brutal, I wouldn’t know because all my life, I was shoved into a relationship with Kevin and that didn’t work out well for me.
“She got Devon.” Wanda says, “and his super hot but rude twin brother, I think she’s okay, girls.” The waiter arrives with our food and everyone starts digging in.
“Have you met that guy? I don’t picture any romanticism happening with them in the future, don’t get me wrong. Devon’s an interesting guy and he’s a great father to Vera but Arya can’t be stuck in that time loop.”
“A date isn’t easy; I have got Vera to look after.” I say.
“Devon wouldn’t mind being alone with Vera tonight, right? Just have this one dinner with Jim tonight, be free, be yourself. Like the old times, when you were you.” Emma says, assuring me. She does have a point; it has been so long since I looked at any guy.
Yes, I want the relationship of Devon and I to work out as co-parents, but I guess this is the way it’s going to be, we can fake dates for the public but that’s how real it’s going to get and I don’t want that, I want to love and feel loved again.
“First off, how does Jim look?” Wanda asks. “Does he tick the handsome and rich button? Because, I am in if Arya doesn’t hop on.”
Nicole rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath. “Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to go golfing with my father right now, talking about business is better than this.”
“I will text Jim the details; he’s going to pick you up at eight. Devon will be okay with watching Vera, right?” Emma asks.
How do I tell Devon?
\--
“I am back!” I call out as I step into the warm room; I kick off my shoes and shove them in the rack. Later on, I take off my coat and drape them over the edge of the seat; I hear a light giggle and see Vera walking towards me with a hearty smile.
“Hey, baby.” Scooping her up in the air, I pinch her adorable cheeks. “How was today?”
She flaps her hands in the air. “Exciting!” She’s still picking up new words, so this must be new for her.
“And the babysitter?” I ask, Devon must have arrived. “Do you know where daddy is?” She points in the direction of the kitchen and I drop her on the couch, moving through the living room into the kitchen, I spot Devon leaning by the counter, pouring himself a glass of water.
He’s dressed in a comfortable cashmere sweater that clings to his frame and tailored trousers that enhance his tall stature. I stand at the edge of the door, just watching the subtle flex of his arms. Even from here, I can smell the richness of his cologne. He cranes his head and catches me looking, heat rushes to my face as I take a step forward.
“Oh, you are back,” his voice is neutral. “How was work today?” The thickness in his voice returns.
“Fine, oh and I have something to tell you, just wanted to run it by you really quick.” My tone sounds nervous and I take a deep breath.
His dark green eyes stay fixated on me for a moment, before asking. “What is it?”
“I am going on a date tonight.”