Chapter 10 Life At Home
Mariko's POV
Maddie was a sweet and gorgeous young woman. I have to admit that I have been feeling something towards her since I first laid eyes on her again after five years. Back then, I really didn't feel anything but I wanted her to feel warmth coming from a guest at a function. I had been married and that was the year that things between Amber and I started to take a shift. It only got worse over the years and I can relate a bit with Maddie when it comes to being treated as less than anything.
When I saw Maddie again after five years, I felt a pull towards her and it made me feel as if I had fallen for someone again, as if I was a stupid teenager. There are so many times, I want to just make a move, but I am controlling myself not only for her sake, but for myself and my own heart, which is healing too. I do not want to be in a rush when it comes to relationships and Maddie is young too, not that age matters. But Amber is young too. We gave dating a try after I met her at an event at Sternpoint. She was beautiful but her personality was too much, I could tolerate it. I am a man who doesn't really like a woman to be too much. I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew the reason why I didn't want to marry Amber from the start, but I am not a man to just leave.
I pulled up into the driveway of my house and then I just sat and stared at it, the lights were burning inside of the house. I took in a deep breath as I braced myself to step inside. I got out of the car and took my time to walk up the few steps. As I opened the front door and stepped inside, the lounge was warm.
As I walked towards the hallway, Amber came towards me. "It's about time you came home," she said, her blonde hair was curled and she was wearing a black formal dress, her work attire. "I was supposed to meet up with my work friends and Rosie had to leave earlier." she said. Rosie was the nanny.
"I'm sorry, but it was Sternpoint related. I do what I have to do when it comes to work, not like you who want a good time by partying, you forget that you have a three-year-old daughter. It is only me and Rosie that are taking care of her. Mostly Rosie because I am a hardworking man," I replied with annoyance.
"Really, Mariko? I love Bella. But I never wanted to have kids. I fell pregnant young with Bradley. He is Lana's age and can take care of himself, Bella is a baby and I want to enjoy my life because I didn't get to enjoy it when I fell pregnant with Bradley. You wanted a daughter and made me fall pregnant." she hissed at me.
I scoffed. "I didn't want another baby, I felt like you were careless with both kids. Do you think that I enjoy your behaviour every f^cking day? I am the one that puts up with your attitudes every day of my life and I regret ever dating you. I am tired of pretending in front of everyone else that we are a happy married couple for a few years now. I cannot deal with this pretense anymore. Had I known that my life would have turned out this way, I wouldn't even have looked at you in the first place...or what started out as fun, because you always wanted fun. I was never that man. Now as trapped as I am with you because our kids are a part of our lives. I love them no matter what. You are the one who didn't want them but you surprised me with them. I wanted to have kids at the right time in my life, no matter how much older I was. But you just never grew up," I shook my head as I walked down the hallway to go and check up on my little daughter. I only have two kids. I love them so much.
"Don't you dare walk away from me Mariko!" Amber called after me and I heard her heels click as she followed after me. She gripped my arm and I stopped to turn around and look at her. "Don't you ever walk away from me while I am speaking to you," she said through clenched teeth.
"Why should I listen to you when you are the one that always walks away? You walk away from us to party. I am done listening to your bullsh^t, I am done with your attitude. I can only take so much, and that is why we are separated or did you forget? I am only living in this house because of Bella. But I am f^cking tired of being treated as less of a man," I looked her straight in the eyes.
"You were never the one for me, I had to have our kids and be stuck with you. You are pathetic and weak and you are no fun. I hate you Mariko, I always have!"
"Now get the f^ck out of my face and do whatever the f^ck you want!" I hissed back at her before I walked away, ignoring her mumbling.
I stepped inside Bella's bedroom. She was asleep and then I approached her. The lamp was only shining, she was my beautiful little girl. I leaned down and I pressed a gentle kiss on her little forehead. "I love you," I said softly, and I tucked her further in with the blanket and I stood up straight.
My heart breaks as to what our lives have become. But I cannot be here anymore, even if my daughter is here. Amber had come to me a month ago saying that she wanted a divorce and I still wanted to try for the sake of Bella, but Amber and I do not love each other anymore and I will not force things.
I walked out of Bella's bedroom and into the guest bedroom where I had been sleeping since Amber and I were separated. I took my phone and I called Amber's mother, who had moved back to Seattle from London a month ago. "Mariko?" she answered.
"I need you to come over tomorrow. We need to talk because I cannot be here anymore," I said.
"Oh dear, what has my daughter been up to?" she sounded disappointed. "I will be there first thing in the morning."
"Thank you," I said.
"How is Bella doing?" she asked.
"She is good and asleep. She will need you," I said as my heart broke.
"Whatever it is, I am sure that you and Amber can work it out."
"No, nothing has and nothing will. We will talk tomorrow," I replied.
"Take care, son," she said, and then she hung up.
Amber's mother has always treated me as her own son since I married Amber and I will surely miss it. But I have to do what I need to. I walked over to the closet and I pulled out a suitcase and I started packing my things. The only thing that I am waiting for is the divorce papers.