DAY 13.3 – Realization.

“Did he answer?”

Jean asks ken when he put down his phone in his ear.

“Maybe we should give him a space”

Ken said in his lower voice.

“I know Fred he don’t want to make us worry about him”

He added.

I put all the trash in the garbage back, He don’t want me to care about him, so I guess I shouldn’t make a move to make it worst.

Ken is right. He doesn’t want to make us worry about him, because he doesn’t care about it.

I look at to Louie and Cedric, they look doesn’t had a problem, maybe I should drink a lot too to forget everything and fall asleep like there’s no problem.

“I think! I had to.. I—bbbb”

Louie wakes up and covers his mouth!

“Holy shit!”

Ken quickly run to Louie, he pats his back to make him vomit. I don’t know if I should laugh because of Louie, but for some reason, I couldn’t even smile.

“UGH! Next time you had to know your limit kid!”

Ken said while patting his back.

Ken brought a glass of water to Louie and careful to put on his mouth to drink some water.

I’ve been noticed it since on the last time we get here, Ken is a sweet guy but he seems put more effort to care Louie, maybe he’s very special to him.

Ken opened the first button of Louie’s polo shirt to get some fresh air. He even wiped its sweat, I look at ken and he seems very happy on what he does.

“Ken is a total package, but he doesn’t have a confident to confess his feeling for him”

I look at my side where the voice came from.

“How could you say?”

I ask and look back again.

“I’ve noticed it since they get here, even if Ken teasing you and calling a Cutie boy, he always looks up to Louie like he’s monitoring its every act.”

She explained well.

“Sometimes you should trust your instinct, but believe me, trusting your heart is much better than trusting your guts”

She added.

Her line’s echoing on my ears, she seems doesn’t had an idea why I like this.

I turned back on lift up the garbage bag to throw it.

“He kissed me”

My body stunned for a moment because of the pinch in my heart, I step my feet to continue because I really don’t want to talk about that.

“Because he taught that I was you”

My body freezes when I heard that. I couldn’t explain my feelings, my heart beats fast and I feel nervous at the same time.

“Did you see his face on after that day? I made it”

I raised my left eyebrows hearing her chuckled.

So she’s the one who give a cut on his lips huh!

I turned back at her and stare at her face.

“Why do are you telling me that?”

I ask her.

“I saw him wasted on the park outside in this village, looking at his face, He seems got hit a hard thing on his temple, He’s bleeding hard and I thought he just got a fight with some guy, He kissed me because he’s drunk, but I knock him down, I brought him here but suddenly he kissed me again so I punch him again, He explained that he just want to confirm something but I guess it turns out worst.”

She explained straight.

I didn’t give her a response but I couldn’t move my body because of the realization.

I remember his face, and yes I saw a bandage on his side temple and I didn’t know where he got that from.

Aist, I couldn’t even ask him where it from, maybe I was really wrong.

“But he crosses the line! He even called me a bitch slut and accused me to had a sex with someone”

I explained.

“He’s wrong on that point but, remember this, communication is one of the important for everyone, even if it’s just a small thing, or even on a stranger you should ask them first to know what the truth is. Maybe he’s very childish and immature, but you were the one who could understand more! I can see it in your face”

She said.

“Are you a fortune teller?”

I don’t know but it just spilled out on my mouth. And she chuckled.

“I don’t know what’s with you and Fred, but believe me Jano, He doesn’t want to lose you”

It’s already 12 midnight and still I can’t sleep, it’s been 2 hours when I get here in my room, I keep thinking of what Jean told me.

Ken and Louie and Cedric are on the guess room, we carried them to take a rest while Jean gets home.

It’s already 12 but still Fred haven’t come back yet, and Of course I am worried about him, He’s a little bit drunk and I guess he’s still drinking, I’m worried if he drive himself or fall asleep anywhere.

I opened my eyes and sit up on my bed, I go down to the kitchen to had a water, I feel my head is in pain , maybe because I got stressed these days plus I drunk too much and couldn’t sleep.

I looked up on the window from the kitchen I can’t see any stars, maybe they’re hiding. I went at the backyard after I got a glass of water. I sit down on the grass and look up at the sky.

“Where are you?”

I mumbled to myself.

“Why are you hiding?”

I added.

‘I don’t know what’s with you and Fred, but believe me Jano, He doesn’t want to lose you’

“If you don’t want to get out of here, why don’t you say it?”

A moment when I’m looking at the sky makes me realized, I remember when we on the middle of a little forest, everything’s around us were beautiful, I feel like there’s something especial on that night.

I realized when we sleep together, I feel comfortable with his arm, I feel safe and it was the first time to feel safe outside and in the middle of a dark forest.

It’s a dark forest but that was beautiful on that night.

A drop of water touched my face and I guess the sky wants to cry.

“Are you crying?”

A second drop of water also touched my face. I decided to stoop up and went on the garage and stand here.

I feel so cold, and it’s freezes me, the wind seems alone and doesn’t have someone to embrace it.

The sky started to cry, it’s very loud and I feel its sadness.

It takes an hour to stop the rain, and still I’m here at the garage standing alone, why I am here? It’s freaking cold and makes me freeze but still I am here standing like waiting for the sun shine.

Am I really waiting for sun? Or Am I waiting for someone. I am confused but I know where I could be happy.

A minute ago when I hear a loud sound from the gate, my body automatically move and quickly run toward to the gate.

The moment when I opened the gate, my heart beast fast and almost break down my knees.

Seeing Fred with his wasted body and soaking in his wet polo shirt.

“Fred”

I mumbled because of the out of shock.

He’s body slowly drop but my arms were too quick to catch him.

I got him and it takes a second to feel his warm body, no! It’s not just a warm but extremely hot.

“Please, try to know me more”

He muttered almost losing his voice.

Then his weight doubled like I almost break down because of its heavy.

“Sir! Sir!”

I tried to wake him up but he didn’t.

He’s body were burning up and I couldn’t think properly.

“Fred!”

I just said but still he’s not responding