Chapter Fifteen

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

What is that noise? I wondered to myself, slowly opening my eyes. My vision what blurry, only able to see a sky-blue colored wall with dark figures around the room.

“She’s awake!” Mrs. Hall’s voice screeched with joy, instantly clearing my vision somehow.

Slowing moving my head around, I now see that I am in a hospital room. My father was sitting in a chair next to my bed, while Mr. and Mrs. Hall sat on a couch next to the window, getting up and coming towards me when they see that my eyes are open.

I was hooked up to a heart monitor which kept beeping with my heartbeat. A cuff was around my left arm, which was hooked up to a machine that would take my blood pressure at regular intervals. My right arm had a needle, taped in the bend of my arm opposite my elbow, which was connected to an IV.

My mouth was dry, and my eyes still felt heavy, as if I could go back to sleep at any moment. Everything was fuzzy. I didn’t question why I was there or how I ended up there. Just seeing the faces I recognized made me feel safe. My entire body ached as I tried to force myself to stay awake.

Looking down, I notice that my dad was holding my hand. Following his hand, I look at his face. His eyes were filled with tears, while Mr. and Mrs. Hall stood on the other side of my bed. Relief filled all of their faces as I lay there without saying a word.

“You gave us a little scare,” Mrs. Hall says, her voice shaking as she fought the urge to cry.

Licking my lips, I try to speak. “What happened?” My voice sounded croaky.

“The doctors said you are malnourished, severely exhausted, stressed, and you had a panic attack,” My dad explained, through tears. “When you were in class, you spun into a panic attack, which was exacerbated by not eating and sleeping.”

A pain shot through my head. “Ow…” I say through grit teeth, my left arm shooting up to my forehead.

“When you passed out, you hit your head pretty hard on the corner of the desk. You have a concussion and split your forehead open, which had to have stitches.”

As my dad explained, I started to somewhat remember. While I was taking the test, I started to become overwhelmed, which caused me a lot of anxiety. I remember wanting to leave the room, go outside for fresh air, but then everything went dark. Then Liam’s voice. But did he really call my name? Was he really concerned about me? I begin to wonder, recalling the events that occurred.

At that moment, pain radiated through my head, starting on the right side of my forehead. Feeling around, I found gauze covering the injury beginning at my hairline and running to the top of my right eyebrow.

“What happened, honey?” My dad continued. “Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself?”

My eyes started to water. I felt horrible, not just physically, but mentally.

“You can tell us anything,” Mr. Hall with a soft voice. “We want you to be happy and healthy.”

“Is working causing you to stress with school?” My dad continued.

“Or maybe did something happen at school?” Mrs. Hall countered. “Did Oscar or Liam say something to you?”

“It would be so much easier if all of this could be blamed on me, right?” Liam states, standing in the doorway. He glared at his parents. Some of his black hair hung in front of his eyes, slightly disheveled. Standing there, appearing unphased by the blame he received, still wearing his expression of boredom.

“Well, did you have some part in this?” Mrs. Hall questions, fuming.

“What? Do you think I purposefully kept food from her? Do you think I stayed up all night, prodding her with a stick every time she dozed off?” Liam interrogated his mom sarcastically. “Last time I saw her, she was fine. The only person to blame is herself.”

“Don’t get snarky with your mother,” Mr. Hall warns, anger filling his voice.

“You really don’t understand just how cruel you can be, do you?” Mrs. Hall states in amazement.

“To my knowledge, I haven’t said or done anything,” He replied unnerved.

“Right…” Mrs. Hall says, looking around the room, at a loss for words. “I think it’s time to let Bree have some time with Tyler.” She announces, grabbing her purse. Looking at me, she gives me a gentle hug. “Call us if you need anything.” Continuing with a smile, she walks past her son without a word.

Mr. Hall followed suit, “Get well, honey. We’ll come to visit again soon.”

After Mr. and Mrs. Hall left, Liam remained in the room with my dad and me.

My dad stared at me for a while, as if lost. “It’s almost dinner time… Would you be okay if I left for a little while?” He questions, cutting his eyes at Liam.

I nod. “Go get something.” My ragged voice states. “And get rest at home.” I try to smile, but my dry lips hurt.

“Here,” Liam places a cup of water on the table beside my bed, pushing the table closer to where I lay.

My father stares at him curiously. “I’ll go get something to eat and be right back.” He reiterates. “I don’t want to leave you here all alone.”

I nod.

Getting up, he stares at Liam hard for a moment. “Make sure I don’t regret this.” He finally says, lingering for a few more seconds before leaving.

Holding the cup filled with water with two hands, I slowly take a sip before placing it back on the table.

Once I felt it had been enough time that my father would be out of earshot, I started, “What are you doing here?” My voice still sounding hoarse questioned. I know Liam couldn’t be worried about me. He was even the last person I expected to see visiting me at the hospital. He was the last person I wanted to see.

“Why haven’t you been eating or sleeping?” His voice was stern and cold as he sat down where my father was, right next to my bedside. “How could you do something so stupid? Do you know how much worse this could have been? Making everyone worry about you…”

I look down, afraid to meet his gaze. So many things to say rushed through my mind all at once. I wanted to yell at him, swear at him, I wanted him to feel just as miserable as I do right now, but I found myself unable to say any of them. Forcing myself, I ask, “Are you worried?”

“What?”

I stare at him blankly. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want to say another word.

“Did you do this for attention?” His eyes burned with anger.

“NO!” I shout, starting to cough. “How could you think something so stupid.”

Frustration painted Liam’s face, and he rests his head in his right hand. Covering half of his face with his eyes closed, almost as if he was trying to stay calm. “Now my parents and your dad think I have something to do with this. How can you cause so many problems in my life?” He gets up, walking to the corner by the door. Propping himself against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest, staring at me or through me, as if he were in deep thought.

I could hear footsteps running in the hall. They grew closer and closer, louder and louder. The sound of hurried slapping of feet interrupted our conversation, especially when it suddenly stopped in front of the door of the room I was in. Dawn, Ellen, and Chad rushed in.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Dawn questions, her eyes red and puffy. She had obviously been crying.” I heard what happened from others at school.”

“Bree, what happened?” Chad’s voice was sad as he walked closer to the bed.

“You scared us!” Ellen announces.

I guess the state of me truly did frighten them, which was apparent from the way they stared.

“What happened to your head?” Chad continued interrogating.

“She won’t tell anyone what’s going on… Believe me, everyone has tried,” Liam says from his spot in the corner.

At the sound of his voice, Chad’s face changed from concern to anger.

All of my friends spin around, turning their attention to him. They hadn’t realized he was there when they came rushing in. Chad, Ellen, and Dawn had surrounded the bed I was laying in as if trying to protect me.

I felt like I was being smothered. Ever since I woke up, everyone has only wanted to know what is troubling me, how did it get to this point. No one has asked me how I am feeling if I was okay. The only person who showed me even a little bit of kindness was Liam. Pouring me a cup of water when he noticed I couldn’t speak.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Chad begins angrily, stepping closer to Liam.

“I don’t believe that is any of your concern. I can go anywhere I please,” Liam retorts.

This response made Chad even angrier. “It is my business when all you do is torment, Bree! So, what, you came here to mock her some more?” He drew closer to Liam. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Liam responds, annoyed. You could see him physically trying to control his temper.

“You are the reason she is in here. You are the reason any of this happened! She was just fine before she moved in with you!” He continued until he was almost touching noses with Liam.

“Chad, stop it!” My pitiful voice rang around in the room.

He turns to look at me. “Bree, I’ve tried to be patient, but honestly, this has gone too far! Why do you put up with this?” Chad turned on me. His eyes burned with annoyance as he spoke to me.

Chad turned his back towards Liam, stepping closer to me. Dawn and Ellen stood beside him, watching everything. But when Chad turned on me, they both stared at me inquisitively. They didn’t say a word to Chad. They didn’t even tell him he was out of line. All they wanted from me was an explanation, but how could I explain? I didn’t even know why.

With their eyes on me, I started to become anxious again. The heart monitor beeping faster.

“You’re upsetting her,” Liam states, irritation tinting his voice.

Dawn turns toward him, glaring at him. “You’ve been upsetting her for the past few months! How dare you tell us that we are the ones doing it now?”

“I think you all should leave,” I finally spoke weakly.

“What?” Chad stared at me as if he had just been slapped in the face.

“Bree, we just want to understand,” Ellen states.

Staring at them, my eyes became heavy and watery. It started to become difficult to breathe.

“Maybe this isn’t the best time…” Dawn finally answers, slowly.

“Just leave,” I say again, my voice hoarse and shaky.

“Okay, okay, we can stop talking about it,” Chad continues. “Could we stay then?”

I shake my head. “I want to be alone,” I say, my voice breaking. My throat was hurting again. Tears began to fill my eyes, “So please, just leave.” My head was starting to hurt worse than before from everyone coming to visit.

“No,” Chad demanded to stay.

“Let’s go… She needs time,” I heard Dawn whisper.

“He’s the one who should go, not us!” He complained, pointing his finger at Liam.

“But I took off work so I could be here…” Ellen moans.

When my friends reluctantly leave, Chad was still muttering as he tried to think of a way to stay.

“Do you want me to leave as well?” Liam questions while still tucked away in his corner.

Rolling over on my side, I face in the opposite direction, facing the wall as I curl up into a ball. “Just leave,” I replied, not caring if he left or not. My voice was low and shaky, trembling as I couldn’t hold back the tears that flowed down my cheeks.

***

Liam’s Point of View:

“Do you want me to leave as well?” I ask her.

Bree looked like she was ready to start crying as she rolled over, turning away from me. “Just leave.” Her voice was barely audible. I could hear her muffled cry as she tried to stay quiet, as she lay holding on to herself.

I wanted to leave. I wanted to get away from her, but just like at the lake when she fell to the ground crying, I was left immobile, unsure of what to do with myself. How does she do this to me? When she was in this state, every fiber of my being wanted to rush over to her, wanting to do anything to make her feel better.

In any situation, I’ve never had problems leaving. Whether it was a girl crying or whatever, I could simply walk away, never thinking twice about it. But Bree… What is so different about her?

Everything about her gets on my nerves. But why? She had a talent for finding trouble or causing it. And this gift has certainly put a smudge on my life. Before she moved in, I had no worries, no troubles. But now, I’m constantly having to keep an eye on her, search for her to make sure she isn’t putting herself in danger. It’s exhausting. In the past, I did notice her. I knew exactly who she was, as I recalled her staring longingly at me in high school. For the past few years, her pretty face with those beautiful green eyes was all I saw when I closed my eyes.

I didn’t want that. I didn’t want her. So why did I choose a college she could get into? Maybe I enjoyed torturing myself, until the day I confronted her. I had become tired of the game and wanted to move on. Then she moved in… My attempts to get her away from me backfired.

How can any of this be my fault? Much like I stated earlier, she is the one who stopped taking care of herself. I didn’t do anything to impede her ability to perform the most basic living necessities. Yes, I know I say mean things to her but that isn’t an excuse.

Why am I always so mean to her? Whenever I see Bree, something nags at me; pulls at me. Seeing her smile makes my heart race, my body stiffen, as I have the urge to hold her. But when I’m mean to her, she gets angry or sad which causes me to feel just as miserable. I’d prefer to feel miserable. What is she doing to me? However, nothing confuses me more than when she is crying, much like right now.

Bree spent weeks ignoring me, which drove me insane. Even when I found her working at the convenience store, I knew it was because she was avoiding me. This girl is driving me crazy. I stayed behind, watching her eat the food Chad had made for her. Mad that he was making her laugh and smile, wishing I could be the one to do so. But I can’t…

Even in the moments when I let my guard down, like when she told me, “I’ll find someone who loves me, and they will be better than you!” I allowed impulsiveness to get the better of me, kissing her. Before I allowed myself to go any further, I forced myself away, as I enjoyed the kiss, the feel of her lips against mine, the way her sweet, delicate tongue felt against mine throwing me into a hunger-like state. I’ve kissed girls before, but none of them had an impact on me like her. Doing this, I thought I would be able to push her away from me, while this action did just that, it also ended up hurting me even more. Now I wanted her. Now I wanted more.

How does she fill me with so much worry and torment? Finding her in the arms of strange men intending to do malicious things enraged me. I’ve never had such strong feelings consume me before. While the thought of anyone doing that to someone else angered me, it didn’t affect me as deeply. I wanted to hold her tightly, never letting her go, never allowing another soul, except me, to touch her. It took all I had not to physically attack the first man who pursued her. The other three made it apparent that they weren’t going to leave her alone without a fight. I’ve never had to fight before, especially not because of a girl… How does Bree throw me into these situations? I can’t even understand what is happening. My mind tells me to let it alone, but then my chest aches. What is that about?

Every time Bree didn’t show up for class, I found myself worrying, wondering where she was, what she could be doing, or if she got herself caught in a situation she couldn’t get herself out of. Then, the one day she happens to show up for the class for an exam, which she had no business taking, she faints. Seeing her walk in, she believed she snuck in without me noticing, I was shocked by her appearance. She looked so pale. Her vivid green eyes lost their brilliance as if something had extinguished the fire which made them so bright. Then, hearing the loud bang that startled the entire room, I turn to see her laying on the ground, lifeless. So much fear ran through me when I realized her head was what made that deafening sound. Her name escaped my lips as I ran to her side, blood trickling from her forehead.

I wasn’t able to move as I watched Bree, silently crying to herself. She soon cried herself to sleep, thinking she was alone the entire time. Silently, I walk over to the bed, sitting in the chair that her dad placed beside her.

My heart dropped as I scanned her face. Bree’s brown hair was a mess with a ponytail holder only barely hanging on. Most of her hair had fallen out of it and was in her face. I tuck her hair behind her ear, gently touching her pale face. Dark, baggy circles ran around her eyes. Streaks of tears remained on her cheeks, which had lost their plumpness from days without eating. The long bandage that covered the deep gash on her forehead, looked like it may need to be changed soon. Why did you do this to yourself?

Why did I accuse her of doing this for attention? I’m such an idiot, I thought to myself as I rubbed my face, trying to collect my thoughts. I’m sorry if I did cause any of this, Bree… I… Letting out a jagged breath, I pull myself together.

While she rested, she looked like her mind was at peace, making my own thoughts calm down. Even in this state, she is beautiful to me. I caress her cheek gently, trying not to disturb her rest while wondering what she is dreaming of. My thumb strokes her soft, plump lips, causing my heart to race. I wanted to kiss those lips again. Fighting the urge, I ultimately lost as I leaned my head closer, closing my eyes and resting my lips against hers.

What am I supposed to do now? How does this girl make me feel so many emotions at one time?