Chapter Thirteen

After the day at the zoo, Liam turned back into his cold, teasing manner. Even after that awkward car ride, seeing him so happy during the trip, I hoped that maybe we were on better terms. Again, I allowed myself to feel hope. But even though he was still unkind to me, he seemed to be not as bothered by my company. Which was somewhat of an improvement to me, considering how much he seemed to resent me at first. He seemed to pay a little more attention to me also.

One morning, after breakfast, I was helping Mrs. Hall clean the kitchen.

“Do you have to work tonight?” She questions.

“No, I am off today,” I reply. “Why? Do you need me to do something?”

“Yay! Could you make dinner tonight?”

“Of course!” I respond. “But is everything okay? Are you going out?”

“No! I enjoyed the food you made that one night and have been craving some more!”

I laugh. “Oh. Okay, then.”

“Do you want me to bring you grocery shopping after lunch?” She asks happily. “It’s been a while since we’ve hung out alone.”

“Sure, that’d be great!” I respond, eager to spend time with her.

After that conversation, I decided to study a little bit. Normally, I sit at my desk in my room to study, but today I wanted to have a change of scenery. So I sat in the living room.

“Why are you studying in the living room?” Liam questions.

“Because I wanted to,” I respond, without looking at him.

He looks over my shoulder at what I am studying. “You have that wrong.”

“No, I don’t!” I retort staring at him.

The crease that was always displayed on his forehead when annoyed was barely visible. Was he actually not irritated with me at that moment? “Yes, you do. And here’s why.” He continued to explain to me why the answer on my paper was wrong. Liam was patient and kind with his words, while eloquently explaining the problem. I have no idea what any of it meant. And none of it stuck in my mind as I was captivated by his warm voice, his brown eyes that shone brightly, and his mouth moving up and down. Why am I so fascinated by him? Why can’t I think properly? And how could I possibly still feel this way to someone so cruel to me? Do I enjoy this torture? There must be something wrong with me.

Later that night, after going grocery shopping with Mrs. Hall, we were back at home eating the dinner I prepared. I made homemade chicken noodle soup with biscuits and a strawberry shortcake for dessert.

“Where did you learn to cook like this?” Mr. Hall questions, slurping his soup.

I smile while shrugging.

“This really is so good!” Mrs. Hall continued her husband’s compliments.

“I usually don’t like chicken noodle soup, but yours is good!” Oscar states happily.

My dad gives me a prideful smile, while Liam ate his food without emotion.

Everyone continued to their dessert and their praise continued. Once everyone finished their dishes, Liam starts.

“That was a good dinner, Bree. Thank you.”

“Uh…” My heart leaped into my throat and my mind became a jumbled mess. “Th-thank you.”

Our family members watched in shocked awe at the exchange.

However, though the exchange left me feeling optimistic, that emotion soon blew up in my face. I hadn’t forgotten about Ember or what her intentions were, but I soon realized that I had been living in a delusional dream.

As I was walking through the courtyard at college, I noticed Ember and Liam sitting together at a bench on the other side. The way they stared at each other; completely entangled in their conversation as if no one else was around, made me understand where I stand in this one-sided relationship. He stared at her the way I wanted him to look at me.

I am so stupid… I thought to myself as I watched how happy they appeared to be together. My stomach became knotted, causing me to become nauseated, and my chest began to ache as if my heart had been ripped out. I wanted nothing more than for this jealousy to disappear and for him to stop toying with my emotions. Liam always leaves me questioning myself. Would he ever fall in love with me? Could there be a future for us? But while I wanted answers, I was also terrified of what they would be.

How could I fall for someone so meanspirited?

“What’s wrong?” Dawn asks, walking up to me, as I was stuck watching Liam and Ember.

“Oh…” I replied sadly. “I was just thinking…”

“About what?” She questions, following my gaze. “Oh, that.” Dawn lets out a sigh of annoyance. “Just forget about that. Do you want to go out with Ellen and me tonight?”

“I’ll think about it…” I respond. “We have to get to class…”

“Yeah… Okay?” She replies with saddened confusion.

Leaving Dawn behind, I walk towards my class that I, unfortunately, share with Liam and Ember. Standing at the door to the classroom, I found myself hesitant to walk in. Looking into the classroom, I could see Liam and Ember sitting next to each other. Even though I could only see their backs, I could not muster enough courage to walk inside and ignore them. Instead of walking in as I should have, I turn around and walk home.

“What are you doing home so early?” Mrs. Hall questions in surprise.

I couldn’t tell her that class was canceled because Liam would tell her that I was lying, so I needed to come up with another lie. “I’m just not feeling well… I’m just going to go lay down.”

“Oh… Do you need anything?” Mrs. Hall responds with concern, coming to feel my forehead.

“No, a nap should help.” I fake a smile.

“All right, let me know if you need anything!” She replied happily. “And I’ll make sure Liam brings home some notes for you.”

“No!”

Mrs. Hall stared at me quizzically.

“I mean… I already asked someone to send me notes.”

“Oh…” She stares at me skeptically. “Okay…”

“I’m sorry…” I apologize for my sudden outburst. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… Maybe I really just need some sleep…” Turning around, I head upstairs to my room, quickly shutting the door behind me, and rushing to my bed to hide under the blanket.

When I was safely tucked away, I begin to cry. Why is everything about me just a joke to him?

Over the next few days, I found it difficult to study. Eating and sleeping had even become difficult tasks to accomplish. For the rest of the week, I continued this routine; always missing the classes I shared with Liam. At this point, I didn’t care if I failed, because I could retake the classes, which meant I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing Liam.

As I was walking to college late one day, my head started to hurt as my stomach made an angry growl followed by an immense hunger pain. I stopped by a little shop, forcing myself to eat a doughnut. It helped a little, but I started to feel nauseous afterward.

Arriving at the campus, Dawn was waiting at the front to greet me.

“Have you been sleeping?” She questions alarmed by my appearance.

“Once in a while…” I reply in a monotone. “Why?”

“Nothing… I can just tell… You look rough…”

“I’ve just been studying.”

“Do you want to go get something to eat with me after class?” She asks hopefully.

“Not really…”

“Oh come on!” Dawn responds pleadingly. “You, me, and Ellen could all hang out together. We haven’t seen you in a long time!”

I let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure…”

“Please, Bree… We miss you.”

“I’ll have to see… I’ve picked up some extra shifts at work.”

“Is it getting that bad at home with Liam?” Dawn asks concerned.

“Excruciating…”

“Why don’t you come to spend a weekend with me or Ellen?”

Staring at her, I finally respond. “It’s too noisy…”

“You have to do something!”

“I know…”

After my class, I send Dawn a text saying that I couldn’t hang out because I needed to be at work so she knew not to wait on me at the end of our day. It wasn’t necessarily a lie since I needed to be at work. I just didn’t need to be in until later. And I left the college campus before my last class of the day started; leaving so I didn’t have to see Liam.

On the walk home, I decided to call Carey’s foster parents. I told them that I couldn’t make it today because I wasn’t feeling well. I started feeling guilty because I knew Carey looked forward to seeing me every week, as I did her, but I didn’t want to do anything. And I did not want her to see me like this. Making myself go to work would be hard enough since I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.

“Are you feeling alright?” Mr. Brians asked when I arrived for my shift.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You don’t look like you’re okay.” He continued, concerned.

“I’ll be all right.”

“Is school getting to be difficult while here? Do you need some time off?”

“No, no. I’m fine. I promise.”

Mr. Brians stared at me skeptically. “Okay… I’m still going to lessen your hours. You don’t look too well.”

“Please, don’t take hours away from me.”

He stared at me sternly. “I’m not going to make you work yourself to death. You’re only 19 years old. You have plenty of years ahead of you to do that!”

After my shift finished, I started toward the door. But am surprised to see Liam sitting outside, waiting.

He looks at me strictly.

“What are you doing here?” I demand, half asleep.

Liam ignores my question, “Why haven’t you been to class?” His eyes narrowed as if he were scolding me.

“Well… I… I just…” I begin to fidget. Staring him in the eye, which appeared to be filled with… worry? I continued, “What’s bothering you?”

“What?”

“I can tell something is bothering you… What is it?” I respond, beginning to walk towards home.

“It’s nothing you can help me with.” He replied coldly.

“Hm… I guess you’re right…” I said, giving up the fight.

“My dad wants me to follow in his footsteps, working at the business he created. But I never wanted that life.” He states reluctantly. “I’m not sure what to major in or what to say to him.”

This was the first time he has opened up to me about anything serious. My heart raced, elated that he finally confided in me. “You can just be honest with your father. He seems like he is somewhat reasonable.”

“To you, he is, to Oscar and me, not so much.”

“Well, he has two sons. Maybe Oscar would like to work there.”

“True…”

“So, that’s one problem solved,” I state, thinking. “You’re also good at figuring out complex things. You love a challenge and you’re very smart…”

“So?”

“Maybe you should go into the medical field and become a doctor.” Liam stops walking, causing me to halt and stare at him quizzically.

Staring at me as if I had just slapped him in the face, he begins. “That is dumb.” Then he resumes walking again.

“Always an ass…” I mutter to myself impatiently before hurrying to catch up to him. “So…” I start, wanting to get answers. “Are you and Ember dating?”

“What?” He replies unnerved. “She is just my friend.”

“It seems like she thinks she has a chance.”

Liam doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Is that why you have been missing class?” He questions dumbfounded. “There is an exam coming up soon and I’m not wasting my time to help you pass again since you haven’t even been trying this semester.”

“I didn’t ask you to,” I continue, becoming irritated.

“Well, I didn’t think about it before, but Ember and I would make sense,” He states, absent-mindedly. “She is beautiful and intelligent. And we share a lot of the same interests.”

My heart dropped. “So what does that mean?” I question as bile started to rise in my throat.

“I don’t know.”

At that moment, I couldn’t bite back my words. “Then if she is so perfect for you, why don’t you just leave me alone? Why do you give me hope where there is none?” I pause. “You could at least have mercy and give me a shot at forgetting you,” I finish as he stares at me speechless, turning away, unable to look at him, as I quickly walk home, ignoring Liam’s following gaze.