Chapter Thirty-Six

Jamie:

I found Callie sitting on my front porch. The parents were in Tallahassee for the week, so they weren't around to bother us.

But something was bothering Callie. I could tell. I could always tell.

“Hey there.” I tried to smile, the corners of my lips being pulled down by the weight of secrets. She had mercy on me though as she stood and brought her lips to mine.

I kissed her like it could be the last time, breathing in her sweet perfume, burning every moment into memory. I'd been in love with Callie as long as I could remember, but it had never been as powerful as it was in that moment, when I knew I'd have to let go.

She drew back, wrapping her arms around herself for protection. High school was ending, and we both knew what that could mean.

Her eyes held an uncertain glaze before they sharpened into a look I knew only too well. It was wholly Callie. “My mom was a movie star,” she blurted, her chest heaving with a sudden laugh.

“That's a weird way to break the tension.” I laughed with her.

“No, I'm serious.” And then she told me the most incredulous story I'd ever heard. If I didn't know the girl telling it to me, I wouldn't have believed it. She held out a picture someone had cut from a newspaper.

The woman in it had Callie's eyes - sharp, eyes that saw everything but also held a softness around the edges.

Her mom ran from stardom while pregnant with two babies. It had the makings of some ridiculous movie that threw believability right out the window.

“I don't know what to say.” I handed her back the picture and ran a hand through my hair, trying to recall what I remembered of her mom. She was a great cook and an even better surfer. Kind. A mother to me.

“How did people in this town not know who was living here?” I asked.

“That's just it. They didn't know Allison McCoy was a movie star, just that she was said to be living in Europe until she came home pregnant.”

“Someone had to have known.”

Callie shrugged. “Jamie, I'm going.”

“What?”

“Maybe just for the summer. Hell, maybe I'll get there and come right on back. But I need to meet him. My dad.”

“You should.” It'd make my news easier for her if she had a plan, but it didn't mean it was easier for me. I knew her - knew that she'd stay in California until her father gave her exactly what she wanted, the answers she needed. She wouldn't come back without them, and now I wouldn't be here when she did.

“I want you to come.” She grabbed my hand. “I don't want to do it without you, and you don't have any plans this summer, right? Kat has a buyer for the diner, and I can use my money from the sale and my mom left me some money too. It's all planned.”

She was rambling in excitement.

I sucked in a breath, willing myself to get it over with. Rip off the band-aid, spilling my guts forth.

“I can't,” I finally cut her off.

“Wait, what?”

“I just signed the papers today.”

“Could you be any more vague?”

“The army.”

She stopped talking then, removing her hand from mine. The world seemed to tilt as I waited for her response. My stomach churned in anticipation.

Emotions flitted across her face. Shock. Anger. And lastly, hurt. Deep, deep hurt. The pain in her eyes nearly killed me.

“Callie,” I croaked, reaching for her.

She stepped back, shaking her head. “Explain, please,” she said, her voice small.

Sticking my hands deep in the pockets of my jeans, I shifted from foot to foot. “I'll try. My entire life, I've been the screw up.” When she looked up sharply, I continued, my voice less sure than before. “It's okay. It was my fault. But I don't want to be that person anymore. College isn't for me, and it took me a long time to see that. I need to be a part of something. I need to get away from this town and this life.”

“Away from me,” she whispered.

“Gosh no. Callie, I love you.”

She shook her head as if to clear it.

“I leave for boot-camp the day after graduation.”

Her lip quivered. “Okay.” Louder this time. “Okay.” She walked down the steps before turning back to me. “I'm happy for you, Jamie. You may not believe it, but if this is truly what you want, then I want it for you. I just… I don't think I can be with you every day knowing I have to say goodbye in a couple weeks. I think it's best if we prepare for our separate futures now.”

My throat clogged with tears as her words sank in. “Callie, come on. We still have time.” Not enough. I'd do anything to keep her in my life, but the impossibility of the situation washed over me, choking me with despair.

I looked into her glassy eyes, seeing she'd made up her mind.

“That's just it, Jamie. Nothing lasts forever. There's never enough time. And sometimes you have to let go.” She turned and ran down the rest of the driveway, jumping into Colby's car and speeding off, leaving me standing alone on the porch as the sun sank down around me.

“Ahhhh.” Slamming my fist into the wall by the door, it connected to the concrete in a burst of pain that seared up my arm. I punched the house again, leaving a smear of blood from my knuckles in my wake.

Hand throbbing, I curled it in close to my chest and slumped down onto the swinging bench. Back and forth I swung like a pendulum that never stopped. Predictable. A ride you could never escape. Sticking my foot out, I planted it on the floor to stop the movement as tears ran down my face. No shame. I was getting off this ride.

Now the only question stood - would it mean anything without Callie? If I made something of a life that didn't have her in it…

We could, Cal. We could last forever.

But she was right. We were out of time.