Chapter 22 Ambiguity
\[Lilia\]
He does a terrific job lathering me up. He washed my skin with a loofah, taking care not to scratch the bruises that littered my body. I am sitting like a child in his lap, but Kael doesn't seem to mind; I weigh nothing more than a feather to him. He was treating me delicately, as if I were a fragile little thing that could be damaged at any time.
But I am already broken. Shattered in a million fragments. My life had already fallen apart before he even purchased me for his pleasure. I am nothing. Nothing.
“Lift your arms.”
Suddenly, Kael cooed next to my ears, his breath tickling the base of my neck, and I became acutely aware that he was completely naked beneath me. My back was turned to face him, and the hard plane of his torso was pressing against my small body.
As I follow his soft instructions, the water ripples in my wake as I elevate my arms, allowing the rivulets of water droplets to run down my arms in a warm stream. In addition, he styled my hair into a nice bun. I never knew that Kael had this kind of side. His ruthlessness, coldness, and rugged demeanor were all that I knew about him. One who devours his prey without a second thought, as I described him as a beast. I'm not sure what possessed him to behave in this manner. It is like he had transformed into a whole different person in just a spin of the clock.
One thing that I am sure of: he’s still the Kael that hurt me. The same person that violates me. No matter how strange he made me feel things about how he touches me now and how delicate he is.
Now I am utterly confused, and frustrated by this turmoil.
“Who are you?” I breathed out, my eyes closing as my attention went down to my breast, where he was scrubbing smoothly with the loofah, fighting back a moan that was crawling down my throat. I did not want to repeat what silliness I had done earlier. However, it seemed to have pleased Kael, seeing that his touch was having an effect on my body.
Like the shudder of sparks spiraling down my spine. Exactly just like now.
“You kind of lost me there, кукла (kukla).” He replied, sensually moving his hand down, from underneath the swell of my stood-upright mounds, down to my navel and hovering just above the junction of my crotch, obviously leaving me for a tease.
My body is slick and the frothy texture left by the liquid soap he was applying is sending my senses into full awareness. The citrusy scent of lemons drifting around us, filling my nostrils with its fresh perfume.
My mind went back to his response to my question.
“Earlier…,” I trail off, not knowing if I should voice out my notions about what he was doing right now.
In an attempt to sort out my thoughts, I bit down on my lower lip, carefully selecting the phrases that would not alter his current state of mind. It was like I was talking to a ticking time bomb, and I terribly have no idea how much time there was left for me.
“Hmm,” my back vibrates at the same time Kael hums, shaking me to the core, and I fought back a shiver to come out, encouraging me to continue with the thing that I wanted to say. The deep timbre of his voice kind of diverts my attention from my thoughts and I utter just what I am most curious about.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I slowly lowered my hand and placed them on the tub’s edge, clinging tightly as though it was the only thing that gave me strength.
Kael’s hand suddenly stops moving. He let go of the loofah he was holding and it floated into the water. His palm lay flat on my stomach, sending a thousand sparks coiling into a tight knot deep in my lower belly, wanting to be released.
Though, what he said next was unexpected, making my body rigid on his lap.
“You hate me.” He started shortly, and all the heat that had spread on my body froze, and even my breath refused to travel down to my lungs.
Was I that obvious to read? Was he going to kill me because of that? But if he wanted to, he would have done that a long time ago, the first time we ever met, when he pointed a gun straight on my head. He should have pulled the trigger and ended my life. If Val had not interfered, he might.
My throat dried, and my tongue had become stuck to the roof of my mouth. Words had evaporated inside my head, and not even a single sound could escape my lips. I just stared blankly towards the loofah obliviously bobbing on the water. If only I could just transfer my soul into that thing, I would have done it already.
All I did was keep my mouth shut and refrain from saying anything else that could have made my predicament even worse than it was already.
“I could see it in your eyes, yet at the same time, you desire for me.” Kael continued speaking without waiting for my reaction.
The inside of my stomach shifted as his palm moved up, scooping a handful of water and pouring it over my sensitive breast.
“You’re just denying it and tempering it with your hatred. Is it not?”
Was I really that simple to read? Was I really that bad at keeping what exactly I felt towards him? I couldn’t protest what he said. Because even to myself, I know he’s right, and he proves it by grazing his thumb across the base of my hard nipples and blowing his hot breath on the curve of my neck with a ghostly touch of his lips, quickly jolting me on my place in astonishment on the top of his lap.
“How can I not...despise you?”
My breathing was labored, and my words could hardly be heard over the cacophony of gushing water spilling over the tub. My fingers twitched, and my nails drove into the ceramic surface that I held on to. The subtle pain anchored me to my sanity, and to also prove my point, the bruises painting my body is enough evidence to explain everything.
Kael only “hmm,” once again.
I could not see his reaction. He then brought his hands to my waist, gripping on both sides, and in an instant, he twirls me around, so I am now facing him. My legs were apart and were on both sides of his body. Basically, I am now straddling his lap. I dare not let my gaze wander down, but I could obscenely feel his steel-rod shaft poking on my entrance, but he did not make a move on forcing himself on me again.
That was a sign of relief. However, it could still be transient.
“I’ll finish washing you up, then we’ll go back to sleep.”