CHAPTER 33

Nadine started in surprise when her doorbell rang around one in the morning. Who could be calling on her that early?

She made for the door, stopping to pick up a boot in case she had to defend herself. She raised it high above her head and prepared for an attack.

"Who's there?," she called calmly with her hand on the doorknob.

"Nicholas."

The boot dropped from her nerveless hand and made a silent thud as it contacted the floor. Her hold on the doorknob went lax. She was never opening her door to let him walk into her home and her life again

She had expected him to come barging in but that had not happened so she had retired for bed after crying her eyes out. Sleep had eluded her and she was about to start reading a book when he rung the doorbell.

"Open up Nadine," he called from the other side. She gave no reply.

She definitely won't.

"If I've to break down the door to come in, then I'm going to."

She knew him well enough to know he could resort to that.

She opened the door and turned towards the lounge without waiting to invite him in. He was there to talk, so talking they would do.

"What do you want?," she asked without preambles as he stood before her.

"I want to be part of Nichole's life," he said frankly, his stormy grey eyes boring into her green eyes.

She blinked in surprise, not expecting the direct and decisive tone of his voice. She had understood his need to meet Nichole as soon as possible, summing it up to him wanting to confirm if the child was his. She had even been expecting his demand for paternity testing. She had expected a whole lot of things but not his immediate settling into the role of fatherhood.

That, said with so much feeling, made her thank the fate she finally told him about Nichole. Now, her little girl wouldn't be plagued with all the horrible names she had had to endure all her life.

"OK," she nodded. "Nichole would love that," she added, getting a sad smile out of him.

"And I want her to have my name, as soon as possible," he added.

"That can be arranged. I don't mind."

"I want her to have a home Nadine, a real family, together. That's what she truly wants and I want to give her that."

"She has a real family already and you are about to make it complete. You'll be a part of her life."

"I just don't want to be a part, I want to be in her life"

"What do you mean?," she asked raising her brows suspiciously.

"I want you to marry me," he said and added when she began to talk "if you don't, I'll sue for custody and I'll win. I don't want to put Nichole through any mental stress so you should consider my proposal," he added, his handsome face set resolutely.

"You jerk!"

"I'm one, gladly."

"You wouldn't dare take my child away from me. You can't just waltz into our lives and start calling the shots. You have absolutely no right."

"A DNA testing can easily prove my rights," he answered calmly, lounging back avinst the wall.

"I hate you," she said brokenly, wishing she actually did.

"Ditto. When you finally decide to marry me, don't think it's a free ride into luxury. You'll be signing prenuptials and doing everything my own way."

"What makes you think I'll ever marry you? Threatening me with my child's emotional health was very low of you. Just so you know, I'm not scared of you, not even a bit. I know the law is on my side here so you can waltz right back out of our lives," she finished furiously.

"You of all people who loves money so much should know the power of money,"

She paled. "You wouldn't do that to your own daughter," she dared shakily.

"I would be doing it for her. I don't want her growing under your influence. Why? She might grow up to only care about money like you do."

"Enough!," she shouted all of a sudden "I've had enough of you thinking the world revolves around you and your freaking money. You can get the hell out of our lives with it. I've never needed it and I won't be needing it ever."

"Stop with the pretence already. I'm tired of it. The sooner you admit to what you are really after, the better for us. This was what you wanted from the get go."

"What do you think I wanted?"

"To marry into wealth."

"I don't know if you are going senile but let me remind you, I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY! What makes you think I do?"

"I'll be happy to remind you, it was right after Maddy died, after the funeral, behind the church, do you remember or do you need more pointers?," he asked with a cynical smile curving his lips as he moved to stand directly in front of her.

The color leached from her face, remembering her conversation with Caroline. After the funeral service years ago, she had been so sad watching Nicholas suffer silently. She knew how much he loved his grandma.

She hadn't known how to console him and had wanted so desperately to be there for him. But he had pushed her away emotionally and she had just discovered she was pregnant.

She had gone behind the church to wade in her own pain and fear of the future when Caroline had come up behind her.

"What are yo doing here all alone?," she had asked her like she really cared.

Nadine had turned around but not before wiping the tears in her eyes. She had not wanted the likes of Caroline to see her crying.

"Nothing, just getting some air," she had said injecting as much lightness into her voice as possible

"Oh," she said coming to sit with her on the bench.

"I feel so sad for Nicholas, losing every member of his family. His parents then his grandparents," she said sighing. Nadine remembered she had said nothing to that.

"But he's lucky. Did you know his parents left him loads of money?"

"Yes," she had replied absentmindedly, sending prayers to heaven for Caroline to leave her alone. She desperately wanted to stop hearing the droning sound of her voice.

"Really? Very few people know about that in Folks because he keeps to himself a lot. I can't believe you knew all along ," she had said loudly. She had said nothing in reply, getting really irritated by Caroline's presence.

Of course, she had known nothing about Nicholas' wealth. They had been together for two years but he closed up whenever the subject of his parents came up, so there had been no mention of their wealth before their demise.

"Is that why you are with him? Because he's rich?," she had asked like she just got a solution to a difficult puzzle.

"Yes Caroline. Why else will I be with him?," she had answered angrily and marched off in the direction that took her away from Caroline. She had not cared in the least what Caroline thought of her relationship with Nick. It was none of her business.

She stared at Nicholas with hurt in her eyes "I can't believe you judged and charged me based on just one flippant conversation with Caroline," she said brokenly and paced about the room.

She returned to stand in front of him "I was hurting Nick, your grandma just died and you didn't need me. You were pushing me away and I discovered I was pregnant and I wasn't even sure of the extent of your feelings for me. I felt so alone," she paused and swallowed hard.

"When Caroline showed up that day, I wanted her gone so bad, I said what she wanted to hear. I just wanted her to leave me alone...," she finished on a broken sob.

"Why should I believe you?," he asked, feeling the doubts creep in to take root in his heart.

"You don't have to. I no longer care what you think about me," she replied in a solemn whisper.

Nicholas stared st her dejectedly, feeling at a loss for what to do or so, all the anger and fight went out of him

He believed her. He believed the look in her eyes he had been ignoring for weeks. It had been safe to truly believe her to be the deceitful person in his head. That way, it had been easy for him to deny his feelings for her.

Nadine had truly loved him and he had thrown it all away in a snap, condemning her without even giving her a chance to defend herself. He had broken her heart and left her all alone to face an uncertain future with a baby at nineteen.

He felt like a monster. He had used her and dumped her like she said, there was no lie in that. And all these while he had thought he was the one with a broken heart. He couldn't begin to imagine how she had felt. If he was in her shoes, he would have never spoken with himself ever again not to talk of even sleeping with him.

A wave of shame came over him. He had a six year old daughter, six whole years and he neglected his own child and her mother.

What would Nadine and Nichole have faced in Folks in his absence? He could just imagine. All the looks and talks about her from Caroline to Will and even the old lady at the store began to make sense. No wonder she wanted so desperately to keep their affair a secret.

To make matters worse, he had been of no help to her since his return, being a living hell to her. All the insulting words he said to her came back at him, haunting him, crashing over him. He took pleasure in the pain it caused, he deserved it and he couldn't begin to atone for all the years of pain he caused her.

She turned and moved back towards the door

"Nadine.."

"Did you ever love me? All these years I really wanted to know. Everything we had, was it just a coldblooded game on your part? Like this affair?,"

He couldn't find his voice. He wanted to deny it. What they had was beautiful, not some clandestine and coldblooded arrangement between the sheets.

He loved her but he couldn't form the words. He had shown her in the past but had never said them. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't produce a single sound.

"I thought as much," she said "I'll like for you to leave," she added and opened the door for him to leave. She wanted him as far away from her as possible.

She was grateful when he didn't utter a single word but left silently.

She crumbled to the floor and wept for all they lost because of his lack of trust and insecurity.

The pain in her chest felt so overwhelming, especially finding out after all these years that he left because of a statement she didn't even mean. He didn't even give her a chance to explain herself.

Instead he had walked out on her, denying her pregnancy and telling her to go to hell or trap a gullible guy who'll fall for her female wiles.