CHAPTER 30

Nicholas felt her tense in his arms. He finally processed her words through the jealous fog of his mind and he went stiff also.

He sat up suddenly, taking her with him and turning her to look into his eyes. She looked angry and hurt.

"What are you not telling me?," he asked suspiciously.

This was her perfect chance, her last chance probably, to tell him he had a daughter. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes squarely. She wanted to see the look on his face when she broke the news to him.

"What do you want to hear from me?"

"I want to know what you meant when you said you've not been with anyone since me. How's that possible? You've a five year old daughter for goodness sake,"

"She's six actually," then she added looking into his eyes "Nichole is six."

"Nic..Nichole? You named your daughter after me? She's six?," he asked stupidly. He was surprised he could speak with everything she was saying. He still couldn't process it.

"It was reasonable at the time. You didn't want her so I thought she should have something of yours. It wasn't her fault you rejected her," she said in a small voice. He noticed the tears tracking down her cheeks.

She was saying he had a daughter. "How is that possible?"

"Oh please you can't be that slow. The pregnancy then became a baby, remember the pregnancy?"

"What pregnancy Nadine? What are you talking about?," he asked agitatedly, getting off the bed to put on his pants. He felt like he was in a movie set and Nadine was going to say 'cut' at any moment.

"I told you I was pregnant right after you broke up with me. Remember what you said?," she asked brokenly.

He remembered clearly what he said, he had laughed and told her he wasn't a fool she could trap, he had told her to go to hell with her pregnancy.

"Oh my God....," he said as realization washed over him. She had actually been pregnant. He had thought it was a spur of the moment lie to trap him like his mother did his father, so he had reacted in anger and said hurtful things to her. Then, he remembered they had never been careless about protection except an accident.

It had been after he overheard the conversation that changed everything he felt about her. He had gone to her house to confront her about it.

He remembered the conversation following their breakup vividly.

She had opened the door and her face had lit up with a sad smile when she saw him standing on her uncle's porch.

"Hi," she had said tentatively.

"Hi," he had replied stonily. He wasn't there to exchange greetings with her. He had come to question her about what she said but seeing her standing there all innocent had set him off more.

He had questioned himself how someone with the look and act of an angel could be so cruel. She didn't even love him like she made him believe for two whole years.

Nadine had noticed the tension in him but assumed it all had to so with his recent loss.

"Are you OK?," she had asked him gently, reaching up to brush her finger against his cheek. He had dodged her hand effectively. The action had hurt but she hadn't said anything about it.

"I'm OK," he managed to answer calmly despite the tumult inside him.

"It's freezing out here do you want to come in?," she asked smiling.

"No. We can have our conversation out here."

He hadn't known what to say exactly. A part of him that loved her had wanted to scream at her about her betrayal but the part that had been neglected by his parents that made him feel unlovable kept silent and thought of ways to hurt her.

"Oh..," she said uncertainly "I was going to come over in the morning. I've something I need to tell you."

"You can tell me now," he had said eagerly, hoping she was going to confess her sins to him and beg for his forgiveness. He would have been so happy to take her back even without her begging, all she had to do was confess.

"You go first," she said and had watched the glint that she saw in his eyes die.

"OK. I came to let you know I'll be returning to the city," he said stonily.

"When?" Nadine was shocked, then thrilled. Was he there to ask her to come with him? She would have gladly followed him anywhere on the planet, as long as he was loving her wherever it may be.

"Tomorrow," he replied shortly. She nodded.

There had been nothing forthcoming about wanting her to come with him. She had thought a long distance relationship wouldn't be bad either, as long as she got to see him once in a while.

"And whatever this is between us, it ends this moment. It was OK while it lasted."

She had gone pale and almost swooned in shock. What was he talking about?

Nicholas watched the blood leave her face. The wench obviously didn't see that coming, served her right.

"Then I'll take my leave," he turned to go when she remained unmoving.

"Wait! What did you mean by that?"

"You heard me. I'm done with you. We are over Nadine," he replied without turning to face her. Nadine shook her head in denial, trying to shake herself out of the nightmare. It wasn't really happening, it couldn't be, she told herself repeatedly as he continued to walk away.

Then without thinking, she blurted "What if I'm carrying your baby? I'm pregnant Nick."

He had laughed without turning, the harsh sound of it making her cringe.

"Oh Nadine, I didn't take you to be such a shameful person. You should have more sense than that."

"Than what?"

"Trying to trap me," he had then turned to face her with hatred shining in his eyes. "You can go to hell with your pregnancy for all I care or go find the next gullible fool to spurt your nonsense to. Goodbye," he added and turned, marching off angrily

His head whipped up and he stared at Nadine's bent head on the bed "The time in the library..."

Everything washed over him in waves. Their had been a condom break during one of their tryst in the local library. He had totally forgotten about the event because it was supposed to be her safe period. He couldn't believe the event had actually led to a pregnancy.

"All these while, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you contact me Nadine? Was it your own way of punishing me? Why would you think I'll deny my own flesh and blood?," he asked angrily.

"Because you did deny her and I didn't want to see you do it again. I didn't want your rejection to hurt. I should be asking you why you broke us," she said brokenly, wrapping the sheet around her and raising from the bed. "Everything was so good and perfect and you went ahead to spoil it! Why?," she was screaming at him but she didn't care.

After all these years, in the past weeks he had been in town, she couldn't hold in the anger and the hurt in her heart anymore.

"Because you were a greedy, conniving gold digging bitch Nadine," he said in a calm controlled voice.

"I loved you Nicholas but you just used me and you didn't even blink an eye before you dumped me. I loved you for who you were not..."

"Please spare me the details. I know you, you don't need to pretend with me anymore. I heard the whole conversation with Caroline," he said calmly.

"What conversation?," she looked confused. What was he talking about?

"I'm sick of your pretense Nadine. But what I don't understand is you punishing me by keeping my child away from me."

"I didn't keep her away because I wanted to. Do you think I enjoyed watching my child being called names and bullied because she didn't have a father?," she asked angrily.

"Maybe you did. Maybe she was an open chequebook you could use whenever you needed money but whatever your reason may be, you've failed."

"I hate you. Why does it always have to be about your money?" she said brokenly.

"Because I learnt that's all you really care about and I hate you more than you hate me right now," he said pacing around the room.

She watched him, angry at herself. Because at that moment with him raging at her and accusing her of things she knew nothing about, she still loved him.

"We'll be flying back tomorrow. You stop being my mistress as of now," be said as he moved towards the door.

"I was never your mistress," she replied in a small voice.

"Then what are you? My whore? Whatever I've with you is never going to move beyond the bed so don't delude yourself for a moment. Also, don't think of using my child to get to me. It won't work," he delivered in a dangerous tone.

"I'm not your wh..whore," she whispered.

"You are Nadine. What do you call all the gifts? You think I gave them because I love you or because I want to make you happy?," he laughed harshly. "They were all payment darling and they are all you'll ever get from me. And don't think I believed I'm the only man you've ever been with. You are just too wild in bed to have been celibate for all of six years," he added.

The silent sobs shaking her didn't even register in his angry head. He wanted to hurt her so bad. How could she keep his own child from him?

She couldn't believe he was using her pleasure for him to insult her. He stormed out of the room angrily while she cried herself to sleep.