Chapter 18 The day he feared most
Nathan walked around behind him. Gently slid his hands onto Alex’s shoulder without a word.
Alex started to complain. “Nathan, you don't have to…”
“Shh…” Nathan murmured close to his ear. “Don’t talk. Just relax, okay?”
Alex let out a slow breath, tensed, but didn’t stop him. Nathan’s hands kneaded into the muscles of his shoulders with practiced care. His body remembered this touch, the way it used to calm him.
Nathan’s voice was low, barely a whisper. “Sweet pie… I’ve missed you so badly.” His lips brushed against Alex’s ear, then began a slow trail of kisses down his neck.
Alex’s breath hitched, head tilting slightly as his eyes fluttered shut.
Nathan’s hands moved lower, fingertips grazing his chest as he undid one button on Alex’s shirt, slipping his hands into his clothes caressing his chest.
Alex’s breath caught, heart, thudding against his chest as Nathan’s lips dragged, laying kisses anywhere they touched. The office air seemed to tighten around them, thick with silence and something unspoken. Nathan's hands moved gently but deliberately, one resting over Alex’s chest, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat, the other brushing lightly over his shoulder.
“You feel it too, don’t you?” Nathan whispered close to his ear, his voice low and husky. “That I belonged to you and I want you to remain mine.”
Alex slowly opened his eyes, his gaze fixed ahead, conflicted. He wasn’t pushing Nathan away, but he wasn’t pulling him closer either. It was a silent war inside him…one part aching for warmth, another trying to stay guarded.
Nathan moved around to face him fully, his hands still resting on Alex’s chest. He leaned in slowly, eyes searching for any sign of resistance.
“Sweet pie,” Nathan murmured, "I want only you… Please let me in again, and I will do anything you want.”
Alex’s eyes met his — sharp, uncertain, and drawn. Then, just as Nathan inched forward, their foreheads touched. The moment lingered.
“Nathan…” Alex began, voice softer now, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I won’t,” Nathan said, and finally, he pressed a slow, gentle kiss to Alex’s lips. It was not rushed, nor desperate, just a sincere one.
Alex didn’t pull away, but didn't kiss him back either.
Nathan knew that his reaction was different but he wasn't going to give up. So he leaned in with another kiss, making it slow and teasing, his hands playing with his tits.
Then Alex gasped, and reacted, giving in to Nathan as their tongue tangled into passionate kisses.
Nathan’s touch was slow, deliberate, too familiar. His fingers slid beneath Alex’s collar, undoing more buttons, then the next, his lips trailing behind like a silent plea while his hands caressed his bare chest.
Alex’s breath hitched again as heat crawled across his skin, his body reacting instinctively even though his mind screamed for control. Nathan whispered again, voice sultry, “Let me make it up to you… Just feel me, forget everything else for now.”
Alex's jaw tightened. He really wanted to push him away, to say no, but his resolve wavered. Nathan knew exactly how to exploit that weakness—how to slip through the cracks in his armor.
Nathan undid the last of his buttons, leaving his chest completely bare. When they pulled for air, he didn’t waste time as his lips found Alex’s tit, suckling on them one after the other escalating his urge.
“Nathan, I can’t…” Alex started but Nathan didn’t want to hear it, as he whispered to his lips. “Sweet Pie please.”
Then their lips crashed yet again in continuous passionate kisses. Nathan’s hands fumbled with Alex’s belt while intentionally grazing his cocky. He thought all was in the right direction until suddenly, Alex's eyes flew open.
“That's enough,” Alex said and grabbed Nathan’s wrists mid-motion, his grip firm. “Don’t.”
Nathan blinked. “But… I thought—”
“You thought wrong,” Alex said, voice low but clipped. “Whatever this is… It’s not going to fix what you broke.”
“But I love you, Alex—” Nathan tried.
Alex stood up, forcing distance between them. “If you did, you wouldn’t have betrayed me. Now unlock that door… and get out.”
The air in the office changed instantly. Nathan hesitated, lips parted like he wanted to say more, but the look in Alex’s eyes silenced him.
Nathan blinked, caught off guard, his lips still dangerously close to Alex’s skin. “But, Sweet pie, I thought we were—”
“You thought wrong,” Alex snapped, standing and stepping back. He adjusted his shirt, refastening the buttons as he stared Nathan down. “This isn’t a game, Nathan. You think you can kiss me, grope me, and everything left broken will magically fix itself?”
“I’m trying to show you that I care,” Nathan murmured, trying to close the gap again.
Alex’s hand came up, firm against his chest, stopping him in his tracks. “You cared the day I caught you with your ex? Or was that part of your twisted love language too?”
Nathan looked away, guilt flickering across his face. “It wasn’t like that. He kissed me and I didn't kiss him back. My mistake was opening the door for…”
“That’s enough, Nathan. I need time to sort myself.
Nathan blinked, lips parting, clearly stunned by the rejection. “But I thought you wanted me. You reacted…”
“I reacted because I’m human,” Alex cut in, voice low but firm. “But it doesn’t mean I trust you again. And you didn’t just betray my trust—you shattered the picture I painted of you.”
Nathan’s face dropped. “Alex… I didn’t mean to…”
“I know,” Alex muttered, eyes sharp. “You never do. But words won’t clean this mess. Just go. I need space.”
The room turned cold with silence. Nathan lingered for a second, searching his face for any sign of softness, but it wasn't there anymore. Alex had shut down.
Sighing heavily, Nathan turned toward the door, his steps slow, almost reluctant. But just as he reached for the handle, he paused. Something in him refused to let go without clarity.
He turned back to face Alex, eyes searching. “The brown-haired guy… whoever he is—do you like him?”
Alex's gaze sharpened. “Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”
“I wasn’t,” Nathan said quickly. “I just overheard. You should know me better than that. And I just need to know.” His voice cracked slightly, the pain laced in it was impossible to miss. “Do you like him?”
Alex leaned back, rubbing his temples. “It doesn’t matter. Just go, Nathan. I need time to think.”
Nathan let out a dry, bitter laugh. “I guess that’s a yes, huh? You like him.” He stepped closer, emotion beginning to pour through his words. “You know, I’ve always dreaded this day, the day you’d meet that ‘lucky charm’ guy you always talked about. Right from the day you said he had some resemblance to me. And now that you have, you're ready to throw me away, just like that?”
“Nathan…” Alex tried to cut in, but Nathan wasn’t done.
“I get it,” he continued, hurt flashing in his eyes. “He saved you, didn’t he? That whole ‘mystery guy’ you couldn’t forget. Now he’s real and suddenly I’m just a shadow.”
Alex looked away, jaw clenched, unsure what to say. Because deep down, Nathan wasn’t wrong.
Walking back to him, Nathan hugged him from behind, “I know you’re grateful that he saved you, and I'm grateful too, but you don't have to end us, because of him. Just let him be.”
“What are you blabbing, Nathan? I never said I met my saviour, I only said I need…”
“Space? Can you hear yourself?” He snapped angrily.
Alex turned and stared at him in surprise.