Chapter 19 Breakups are nothing
“Don’t look at me like that!” Nathan snapped, pain flashing in his eyes. “You need space for what? To chase another guy? How could you, Alex? After all your promises? You can’t just walk away from someone who’s done nothing wrong! I didn’t cheat—I only opened the damn door for him. I didn't kiss him back. And I've promised you that it will never happen again. If you need me to swear, then, I swear it will never happen again. So keep your promise” Nathan's eyes glinted with tears as he focused on Alex.
Alex sighed, jaw tightening. “What promises, Nathan? I never promised you love. So don’t throw that at me.”
“I know you didn’t promise love!” Nathan shot back, voice rising. “But you did promise to make me happy. You told me you’d always keep me smiling. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that.”
“Nathan…” Alex exhaled, rubbing his temples. “Stop making this harder than it has to be.”
“But it is hard!” Nathan stepped closer, desperation in his voice. “You promised me happiness. You said you would do anything to keep me comfortable. You were the one who saved me from frustration, who helped me dream again. Don’t act as if none of that mattered!” He wiped his tears. Please, don't send me back where you picked me from. You said you would take care of me.
Alex turned away, trying to stay composed. “Yes, and I meant every word. That’s why I said, if you ever need anything—anything at all, you can call me. But Nathan… that doesn’t mean we’re still the same.”
Nathan’s expression crumbled. “So that’s it? You’re moving on, and I’m just… what? A favor you once did?”
Alex didn’t answer. The silence hit harder than any word could.
Nathan grabbed his hand tightly, eyes glistening. “Can’t you see how broken I am? I need you right now, Alex. I need you to make me smile like you used to… kiss me, hold me, make love to me. Just tell me everything’s going to be okay. Please, Sweet Pie… just hold me and kiss away this pain, it's breaking my heart”
Alex yanked his hand free, voice sharp. “Enough with the emotional blackmail, Nathan! Why can’t you just understand?”
“Understand what, Alex?” Nathan snapped, voice trembling with hurt. “That you’re dumping me and dressing it up like it’s nothing?! Like we were just a mistake?”
“You dare raise your voice at me?” Alex growled, shaking his head in disbelief. “Do you even hear yourself right now? Stop screaming, for pete’s sake! Breakups aren’t new. People grow apart.”
Nathan’s face crumpled as he gripped Alex’s hand again, tears now streaming. “So you’re confirming it. Just like that?” His voice cracked. “Well, I’m not breaking up. I refuse. I’m still here, still fighting. Look at me, Alex.”
He didn't look but Nathan didn’t stop. He shook him and cried out painfully. “I said look at me, Alex. Will you fucking look at your Nat, please?” Nathan screamed as tears kept streaming down his face.
Gradually, Alex turned and looked.
Nathan locked eyes with him before speaking up. “Alex, can’t you see I’m falling apart? You promised you would kiss away every tear I shed. Then do it, right now. Kiss them away, please.”
Alex cursed under his breath, heart pounding. “Damn it, Nathan, stop acting like a child,” he muttered, brushing the tears off his face with his palm.
Their eyes locked. Nathan was practically sobbing now, chest heaving, emotion raw. Alex stood frozen—torn between frustration and the ghost of old feelings that refused to fully die.
“Please, don’t leave me… I might lose my mind if you walk away.” Nathan’s voice cracked as he clung to Alex, arms circling his waist tightly. His head rested against Alex’s chest, lips trembling with desperation.
Alex's thoughts swirled. Of all the flings, all the blurred lines with both men and women since he had sworn off love, Nathan had come the closest to reaching past his walls. But after that night, he caught him with his ex; there was a difference in his feelings. He couldn't trust him completely again. But what made it worse was last night. After locking eyes with that mystery guy who resembled the one who saved him, something deeper snapped within him. In fact, everything shifted because what stirred within him felt undeniably real.
Alex hesitated, but then wrapped his arms around him in return—a gentle, almost pitying hold. His heart felt heavy, but his mind was already elsewhere… chasing a shadow with curly brown hair, a voice that made his heart skip, and lips that made his heart flutter. The truth was clear: this chapter with Nathan had run its course. Still, he didn’t want to crush him, at least not like this.
Exhaling lightly, “Nat,” Alex said softly, fingers threading through those familiar brown curls. “I’m not breaking up with you. I just… I need time. Time to figure some things out.”
Nathan slowly lifted his head, watery eyes locking with his. “Okay. I’ll give you time, Sweet Pie. Just… just promise me one thing. Don’t go looking for that brown-haired guy.”
Alex’s expression hardened instantly, his jaw tightening. “I can’t promise you that,” he said, stepping out of the hug. “You don’t understand. I have to find him.”
Nathan’s voice hitched with a sob as he stared at the space between them. “Look at you… See how easily you pulled away from me,” he whispered, pain flickering in every word. Is your heart made of stone? Is this distance between us because of him or just because of my one mistake?”
“This mistake of yours happened once, I know, but you can't erase it that easily,” Alex cut in, his eyes cold. “You want comfort without accountability. And I’m not up to that, Nathan. I’ve got real things to deal with for now. A kid got drugged, people are hiding behind masks, and you think this is the moment to seduce me back into a lie?”
Nathan fell silent, face pale. Alex walked to the door, unlocked it, and held it open. “Leave. And don’t come back unless I call.”
Nathan hesitated, then walked towards him without another word, the air heavy between them. At the door, he paused and wiped his face.
“You know, this was all my fault. If only I had listened. He told me to stay away from you, or I will shed tears after you use and dump me.”
"What the heck is that supposed to mean? Who told you that?” Alex asked with a surprised look.
“Your ex, Zenith, and I should have listened to him.”
“What? That bastard must be crazy. Come on, Nathan, don't think like that. It’s just that….”
“Save it, I will give you the space and take all the time you need.” With that, Nathan strode past him without looking back.
Once the door clicked shut, Alex leaned against it for a second, sighing deeply. Then, shaking the emotions off like dust, he muttered, “Focus, Alex. Find that mystery guy.”
His gaze narrowed with a flicker of determination. The brown-haired guy wasn’t just a coincidence—he felt it in his gut. And Alex wasn’t going to lose him again.
That mystery guy, whoever he was, looked exactly like Lucas, if you stripped away those well-defined abs. It was uncanny. The hair, the build, the eyes… Everything screamed familiar, like a ghost from the past resurfacing with a twist. But Alex needed to confirm it face-to-face. He had to look him in the eye, hear his voice again, feel that electric pull once more.
But then a bitter thought struck him. Zenith.
He recalled Nathan’s hurtful outburst—the way he had said it. Zenith told him that I would use him and dump him eventually.” The words echoed with poison. His hands clenched into fists.
“That conniving bastard,” he muttered under his breath, storming toward his desk. Without hesitation, he snatched up the intercom and punched in the kitchen line. It rang once.
“Hello, kitchen chef, how may I help—”
“Zenith,” Alex growled, cutting him short, voice like ice. “Get your fucking ass to my office. Now!”