Forty Eight- Only Me and You

Forty Eight- Only Me and You
Lev’s POV

I have been doing my very best to ignore the fact that the moon goddess didn’t grant me the one request I have always made to her since childhood and now my dearest parents decided it was fun to talk about it like they were talking about the weather. Real fun, right?

“Lev?” Aria called out from outside knocking twice before pushing the door open.

“Lev, you didn’t need to leave that way. Your Mum was hurt by your actions” She started walking closer to me.

“That wasn’t my intention but they were getting on my nerves and I couldn’t take it” I sighed, she was standing directly behind me her petite frame barely reaching my back but that was good enough, too good. Having her this close is only going to worsen things for me but I don’t want to care. At least not now.

"You know they would never want to do that" she reasoned. She reached out placing her hand on my right arm, the hairs on my body standing in full awareness.

“They were both trying to know how I was feeling about the whole situation, not to make you feel bad or anything of that sort. If you want to blame anyone, blame me” She said, lowering her voice as she said the last part.

I turned to face her so quickly I almost gave myself a whiplash, “That’s not true, Ri. You have done nothing wrong” I said softly cupping her face with my right hand, staring into her beautiful blue eyes. How on earth have I been able to keep my hands to myself all this time?… This...this was why I was hesitant about her coming here. Ever since Kael, my restraint around her seems to be dropping drastically and that’s beyond risky.

“Then they have done nothing wrong too, Lev” She responded by blinking those innocent blue orbs at me. I could feel my restraints literally snapping, thread by thread. I pushed back my urge...my want just like I always have been doing, but this time it felt harder...almost impossible even.

"I know but..." I stuttered, my words lodging in my throat. How do I tell her how much I have been struggling these past few weeks? How do I tell her how distant she is now? How do I tell her I want her, mate or not without sounding selfish?

"Talk to me Lev, please" She pressed, her voice trembling. We have always had our way of feeling each other's pain, each other's silence whenever we talked even without getting the words out and I know she knows exactly what the issue is but she still wants to hear it anyway.

"Just forget about it, Ri. I will go apologize to my parents now" I shrugged it off quickly, adjusting my voice and stance.

She quickly placed her hand on my chest stopping me before I could take any step, "Start talking, Lev" she demanded, her voice demanding yet there was a plea in it.

I sighed, staring at her trying to put myself and emotions intact but her lingering hand on my chest was making it really difficult to even concentrate. The little heaving of her chest, the slight part of her lips as she watched me, the way her lashes fanned her cheeks at each blink, so effortless, so beautiful.

"You want to hear it, Ri? Then fine" I finally said my emotions were still slipping through despite my efforts.

"I am struggling, Ri. I struggle every day with the fact that no matter what, you aren't mine, you didn’t end up being my mate like we have always wanted. I struggle every day seeing how Kael treats you while I get to watch and console you like you aren't meant to be mine in the first place. I struggle every day watching you cry in secret and hurt over the douchebag when I am right here to be everything you didn’t even know you wanted. I struggle to come to terms with the fact that the only woman I have ever loved isn't mine and might as well never be" I confessed, her hand on my chest dropping as I took a step back away from her waves of emotion hitting me.

Her eyes were now clouded with emotions, her eyes scanning me like she was trying to decipher something I couldn't tell.

"Lev" she breathed out lifting her eyes to look at me but immediately casting them to the ground, she can’t even look me in the eyes anymore...

"Lev, you know I have always wanted the same thing for us too. I love you, I love you so much, Lev. It broke my heart that night when I realized the moon goddess didn't grant our request" She started lifting her eyes once again to look at me but she didn't maintain it, she dropped it occasionally.

Her chest rose and fell, her voice now shaky as she spoke up, " It has always been you and you even before my Dad died. Best friends forever, remember?" She chuckled, a sad smile on her face.

I nodded. Of course I remember, how can I ever forget the night we built a tent together because our Dad dared us saying we couldn't even finish homework ourselves without getting on each other's necks not to mention of a tent. We decided to prove them wrong and we did. We were so excited we didn’t want to go home that night and we ended up sleeping in the tent together. That night, we promised ourselves to remain best friends to the end no matter what. We were such little happy and naive kids then.

"I can never forget" I sighed the memory now feeling heavy on my chest. It doesn't feel the same with us anymore and she knows it too.

"Exactly, Lev. It's always going to be me and you" She continued taking my right arm in hers as she came closer closing the gap between us.

"Only you and you, promise?" I pressed further, cupping her face so she could maintain the contact and stop breaking it.

"Promise" she sighed, her eyes searching mine but the distance between us, or rather the lack of it had taken over my senses and I did the one thing I have wanted to do since we were kids.

I kissed her...I pulled her close and kissed her just the way I had always dreamt of doing.