Forty Nine- The Kiss that Broke Us

Forty Nine- The Kiss that Broke Us
Aria's POV
My head spun, all reasonable thoughts leaving my head for a second at the sudden feel of his lips.
'Aria, fucking snap out of it or I will help you do so' Isla threatened, suddenly jumpy and in discomfort.
Lev's lips pressed mine, a low groan erupting from his throat as he deepened the kiss unfazed by my hesitation to kiss back. His teeth slightly grazed mine as if asking for permission to be let in but I know better.
"Lev" I breathed out pulling my lips away but still leaving his arms around my body.
His eyes fell but he quickly masked it up with a sudden determination, "Reject him" he suddenly said, shocking me to my very core.
My heart stilled, "What?" I whispered, unable to hide my shock.
"Reject him, Ri. Come be with me" he said again, his voice even stronger this time.
I couldn't hold in my shock as I removed his hands from my body and stepped away.
"Lev..." he can’t be serious.
"Come on, Ri. Don’t look at me that way, he doesn’t want to but I do. I want you so damn much, Ri" he said with pain in his voice.
"But that doesn't make it right. What if you find your mate, what then happens to her?" I asked, still struggling to believe the words he just said.
His eyes flashed with an emotion, one I couldn't decipher as it disappeared as soon as it came, "I am twenty already, Ri, if she was still out there I would have found her and even if I end up finding her later on, she would understand. I will still reject her and stay with you" he said with so much certainty my discomfort only grew.
"But that would be very unfair to someone you haven't even gotten to know" I argued.
"Not having you is unfair to me, no one is talking about that" he responded, with so much pent-up anger in his eyes.
“That’s not the same thing, Lev and you know it” I sighed, shaking my head in disbelief at his words.
“I don’t know shit, Ri. Don’t you get it? All I want is you, all I have ever wanted was you” His voice sounded so hurt and pained, it broke me but this is all wrong. I want him too, hell I wanted to kiss him back so bad but everything in me screamed against it, it felt like I was defiling something, and even if that something really isn't there, the bond should still mean something right?
“Lev…” I called out blinking tears from my eyes as I struggled with the right words to say.
Why will the moon goddess be this callous to both of us? Haven’t I been through enough shit in this lifetime to last me another lifetime even, doesn’t that qualify me for a little bit of happiness?.
“Please Ri, just reject him and be with me. I promise you would never regret it” His eyes held so much hope and anticipation, my heart shattered at the next words I had to say to him.
“I can't,” I whispered, casting my eyes down as I could no longer hold his gaze like he wanted. He visibly shook at my words like he wasn’t expecting them and I can’t blame him, I am shocked with myself too.
“I am so sorry, Lev but I really can’t do it. Your future mate doesn’t deserve this and neither do you. I can’t deny you the happiness you are destined to have in the future because of my selfish desires” Tears were streaming down my face at this point but I couldn’t stop going, I have to let it all out now.
The silence that followed was deafening and then I saw it before I heard it….his resolve shattered.
“Stop it, Aria, just fucking stop it” He lashed out…he used my full name meaning things have really gone out of hand now.
“Stop talking about a mate I have not even found, one I am sure as hell I wouldn’t want. Stop making it sound like this isn’t about the fact that you don’t want to be with me, you never have” He spat so much anger and fire in his eyes. His words hit me so hard I backed away in shock.
“How can you even say that to me, Lev?” He has every right to be angry but speaking to me in this manner is unacceptable and I will not be having it.
“Oh, you think I don’t know?”
“You don’t know what exactly, Lev. What are you talking about?” I asked, utterly confused with the direction things were going.
“You think I have never noticed the faded look in your eyes anytime I bring it up or your eagerness to change the topic before we can really talk about it? At first, I thought you were just being skeptical and scared but since Kael came into the picture things became clearer, you always wanted a bigger fish. Being mated to the Beta heir would never have been enough for you, right? So it had to be the Alpha huer, while I remain your little loving best friend like my love for you never mattered”.
I wanted to slap him so hard across his face, he would never even think of such ever again but instead I pushed him, hitting his chest in the process. It didn’t seem to have made much of an effect on him but I let out some steam and that was all that mattered to me.
“Never” Hit “Ever” Hit “Speak” Hit “To” Hit “Me” Hit “Like that again” I spat angrily attempting to hit him one last time before he grabbed my hands holding them in place.
He stared hard at me like he was trying to imprint ever feature of my face into his mind, I could see the regret in his eyes at the words he had said to me but he didn’t voice it, instead he only hurt me more, “Leave Aria” His voice was plain but bitter like he could stand to look at me anymore.
“You want me to leave, Lev?” I asked in shock and disbelief. How did we even get here?
“Yes Aria, go be with the one you wouldn’t leave for me since it is obvious you want him not me”
“Stop it, Lev, I never said anything of that sort” I defended.
“You don’t need to, I know already” The certainty in his voice only made it hurt more. Is that how little he thinks of me? Even in anger he should never speak to me this way…
There was so much emotion in his voice that made me fully understand how much he has been hurting all this while but it still doesn’t justify his actions.
“Lev…”
He cut me off, his words clipped,” I said leave, Aria and I meant leave now”. I held his gaze waiting for his resolve to crack but I didn’t get it and I immediately knew my time here was really up, I have a session with douchebag Kael anyway.
“Fine” I bit out angrily storming out of the room before I would change my mind, banging the door loudly. The loud slam of the door echoed in my heart as it felt like something in me just slammed shut too but I can’t let him see the tears that were now falling from my eyes, I can’t let him see just how much he has hurt me. Without a second thought I snuck out through the side door to avoid being seen. I know Bethany and Viktor would ask lots of questions but I don’t care right now, I definitely will later on though.
How do you do the right thing yet it still feels like a part of you was just brutally ripped out?