Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven
My Mother's eyes peirce into mine. I can feel the tension burning between the two of us. I can feel my Father and Doctor Solomon staring at us. However, in this moment, I couldn't care less. For some unexplained reasoning, I don't care about anything. I desperately need to talk to Mason, or at least just see him.
It becomes obvious to me in this very moment that my parents are having a secret battle of their own, and it doesn't take much for me to assume that it is to do with me knowing their secret.
"Please..." I finally say in a softer tone.
After a long pause, my Mother looks up to my Father and they both exchange a nod. I know they dissaprove Mason and I being around each other right now. What with this terrible secret hanging over all our heads. My Mother knows all too well that I want nothing more than to tell him. Not just to tell him, but to scream it out even. Or perhaps shame my parents for keeping us both under false pretences.

"I will call Mason in..." My Father says calmly, taking my Mother's hand and guiding her out of the room. Doctor Solomon gives me a small smile, before shortly following them out.

I sit in that moment, trying to think back to how I even got into this position. My arms are covered with tiny long tubes travelling over me, leading up to a drip of which the nurses must have put me on. A big part of me is hoping I haven't got some kind of kidney infection, although I feel absolutely fine in this moment, apart from being taken back by complete confusion to whatever has happened. I have no clue why I am laying here. Thinking back to 24 hours ago now seems a complete blur, apart from short memorised encounters such as conversations with George.
"Alana...?" I hear that familiar voice. I snap my head up, to find Mason standing to the side of the room, staring at me. I spot a cigarette slipped just behind his ear, and for the first time in ages, I feel a wide smile break out across my face. Mason's expression becomes confused, his head tilting slightly.

"Something amusing?" He asks.
"No..." I answer softly. "It's just, I haven't seen you with a cigarette since...well, 4 years ago."
He nods, taking the cigarette from behind his ear and slipping it into his cigarette packet. "Sorry, I forgot. You wasn't suppose to see it."
"You were gonna smoke it...?"
"I was thinking about it." He says, slowly sitting himself down on the visitors chair next to my bed. "I can't bare this kind of worry."
"It's no excuse to light up them cancer sticks..." I sigh.
"You know I don't cope well with worry, Alana. You can't expect me to not at least have the temptation again."

I frown. "You've been doing so well."
"I know. I plan to continue."
"What exactly happened to me...?" I ask, diverting us from this topic. I can see how Mason is relieved in the change of subject.
"I don't really know. We were sort of arguing, you walked out and then next minute...you collpased in the corridor."

"Collapsed?" I ask.
"Yes."
"But...why..I..." Oh my, this doesn't make any sense.
"It's alright." Mason's hand clasps over mine in attempt to comfort me. "You'll be ok. The doctors did say that it's nothing life threatening, and your first lot of scans came back as clear and healthy."
"Then none of this makes sense. If i'm healthy, then I shouldn't be laying here." I argue.
Mason sighs and brushes a strand of my head from my right eye. "Now listen here, don't go all sciency on me. Stop challenging everything. You're gonna be fine, so hush and rest." He says with a small chuckle leaving his lips. I find myself watching how they move. God, why does he get me like this every time?

"I should go." Mason whispers.
I grasp his hand as he begins standing up from the seat. I notice how he hesitates as my fingers grasp his.
"D-don't go." I find myself almost pleading. Woah, I must sound so patheitc and...small right now. I promised myself I wouldn't let myself come across as easy, but Mason seems to bring out my weak side.
I watch how his eyes lock onto our hands, he seems surprised at me plea. Although, I'm so embarrassed of letting my feelings get the better of me.
"Ok." He finally breathes, sitting back in the chair.
I quickly release my grasp on his hand, and he relaxes himself into the chair, smiling as his usual cocky self. A part of me wants to punch that smile off his stupid face. His stupid...handsome face...but at the same time I'm so pleased to see it. That's a first for me.

"I really missed you..." I say after a long moment of silence.
"What?" Mason responds. I'm not sure if he did not hear me, or just wants me to repeat it for his own satisfaction.
"I said, I really missed you."
"You did?"
"Yeah..." I lay onto my right side, so I can face him. His eyes bore into mine, a smile spreading across his face.
"Why's that?" He asks in a taunting tone.
I shrug, not really knowing myself. I never seem to understand my own mind lately. "I can't really say. I just know I wanted you here."
"Yes, Mum and Dad seemed a little off with me, when they said you asked for me." He says, looking down at his lap.
"Oh...why?"
He shrugs, briefly licking his lips. "They seemed...dissapointed."
"Dissapointed?" I repeat, sitting up slightly.

"They seemed dissapointed that you wanted me to come see you." He looks at me, his eyes suddenly so intense. How do his eyes do that!?
"Why would they be-"
"I don't know. They don't like me maybe."
I smirk, "Wait what? Why would they not like you?"
"Because, they probably think I caused this, just like I cause everything." He rubs his forehead, and I can tell he's starting to get stressed.
"Mason, no one can cause someone to collapse. None of this is your fault." I try to reassure him. It's ridiculous for Mum or Dad to possibly blame Mason for any of this, although it wouldn't surprise me if they have already tried.
"Alana, I put pressure on you this morning. I could have brought it on." He says, leaning forward. His strands of hair slightly shadowing his right eye.
I shake my head. "No. I won't accept that. That is stupid. Look, whatever they say, don't take any notice." Mason reaches up, his finger tips lightly carressing my arm, and I cannot help but take a sharp intake of breath. His touch somehow sends electric waves through me...or at least, that's how it feels.

"I couldn't help but think about how..." He pauses, looking to meet my eyes. "...how I was going to make you feel amazing in that room. That moment we had. It was...it just meant a lot to me. It's a moment I have dreamt of."
"You dreamt of it...?" I say. I think surprise is evident in my tone.
"Yes...for years. Since I was 15 really."
"Why would you dream of something so messed up?" I gasp slightly.
He smirks, "I don't know. It's just...you never really felt like my sister...I can never seem to feel the biological connection. All I feel is lust, and...passion and constant sexual need to just..." He groans, pulling away and burying his face into his hands. "I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"It's ok." I smile. I'm not sure how to pacify him anymore, but I know all too well that we both want the same thing.
"I've been a terrible brother to you. I'm sorry..." He drops his hands from his face, shaking his head in what seems like shame. Mason ashamed?
"Mason, you haven't been terrible. You just grew up, and adventured like everyone does. Everyone has their faces, and habits throughout young youth."
"Alana, I've wasted my childhood, dabbling on and off drugs, stealing cars and fuck knows what else. Even if..." He pauses.
"What?"
He swallows, "Even if I wasn't your older brother, even if we were just a boy and a girl...I wouldn't be good enough for you."
I reach my arm out to him, "Oh, Mason...don't talk like that. That is not true. You'd be great for any girl."


He takes my hand, carressing my palm with his thumb. "But no girl would ever be you."