World

*Him*

I instantly regretted walking inside her apartment. My knees wobbled as I inhaled her familiar scent. Peaches.

Chills creeped up my spine and I turned to face her again.

Her hazel eyes were mesmerizing. Intense. And her small lips were parted. She was so unsure of me and the uncertainty in her face was killing me. Crushing my heart into pieces.

She looked so different, yet was exactly the same. My heart ached for her, recognizing her presence and I pushed the feeling down. I knew I was lucky enough to even breathe the same air as she did.

“Umm,” Her voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat, “I-Let me put on some pants.”

Pants? I couldn’t help but let my eyes travel down the length of her body. Those beautiful legs were seared into my brain. God, they were much better than I remembered.

I watched her walk away, my eyes lingering on her ass before I forced myself to look away.

Fuck, I needed to calm down.

The kitchen was clean, except for a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. One of them was tipped over. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

The way he had kissed her cheek stirred an anger within that frightened me. My chest suddenly began to pulse and I pressed my hand to the scar that sat in the middle.

Her soft footsteps alerted me to her return and I gazed up at her.

I would never get tired of seeing her. Her hair was longer, but it was still wild. It still curled around her ears and floated in the air. She was still fucking breathtaking.

She held her elbow in her hand, twisting her lips together as her eyes filled with tears. The sight was gut wrenching.

“What are you doing here?”

The break in her voice had me doubling over in guilt. I stepped toward her, but she shook her head and I froze in my spot.

“I just,” My own voice was breaking, “Are you okay?”

She laughed, but it was distorted with a painful cry. She slapped her hand to her mouth as she continued to shake her head.

“I’m so sorry, Inesa.”

She sniffled, “For what, exactly?”

“For everything.”

I knew I had destroyed her. I knew she hated me, but could she learn to love me again? I knew I was reaching for the stars, knew I didn’t deserve it. But things were finally done.

“You’re four years too late,” She walked past me, entering the kitchen to grab herself a cup of water.

I followed her, not able to tolerate any distance between us. Seeing her now was like a salve to my tortured heart. I had forgotten what it meant to live. What it meant to be happy. What it meant to fucking breathe.

My life, my happiness were personified in the tiny woman before me.

“Things were different then, they’re different now.”

She turned to face me, “Different?”

I nodded,“You’re safe. That 19 year old kid you fell for? He was an idiot, Inesa. I don’t know what you saw in me. I shouldn’t have put you in danger. I shouldn’t have kept it from you. I didn’t deserve you.”

She scoffed, “I’m glad we’re on the same page. That 18 year old girl that fell for you? Idiot. I wish I would’ve known how badly you would break my heart. How impossible you would make it for me to love anyone else.”

My eyes shifted to her bedroom door, noticing her unmade bed, “Apparently not that impossible.”

She grunted, angrily, and stomped her way toward me, “Brian? You think that’s love? You think I love him? His touch repulses me when I compare it to yours. But I’ll do anything to ease the ache you left.”

Her chest heaved with the heaviness of her breath, and I stopped myself when I realized I was leaning toward her. I couldn’t stop the pull of her lips.

“I just wanted to be better for you,” I whispered.

She flinched, and a thousand emotions cross the depths of her eyes before she pressed her lips together and stepped away from me, “And I just wanted you.”

Would she want me now? I was a completely different person. But the fires that burned me then, were the same ones that fueled me now. And they existed in her bright eyes.

“I haven’t been with anyone, haven’t thought of anyone since you,” I wanted her to know that she had me, that my heart had always been hers, that she could have what she wanted.

“Am I supposed to believe that?”

I narrowed my eyes, my heart speeding as I spoke the words I never wanted to speak, “I was in prison.”

Her eyes widened and she reached for me, but she stopped her hand mid-air, “All this time?”

“Three years, I was released a few months ago. Good behavior.”

If only she knew, though, what I had actually done.

She inhaled brokenly, “A-and Jacob?”

“You don’t have to worry about him.”

She nodded, hugging herself tighter.

“I needed to get rid of him, Inn. I had to make sure your were safe. I couldn’t do that without serving time and I-I needed to know that you were happy, that you were living your life.”

She didn’t back away from me as I neared her, but she did flinch back when I raised my hand to caress her cheek.

“I would’ve stuck by you. Waited for you,” Tears streamed down her face.

The sight was devastating.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, “I know.”

“Then what do you want, Kian?”

I wanted her. I wanted her whole world.