Chapter 8 Proposal
Days pass and I am in complete pain. Logan has been true to his word and our Beta, Andrew or another one of our wolves has been watching over me since that night. I haven't been going out other than to work and I have been slowly going crazy. I feel like it has been much longer than a week.
At this rate I am sure to lose it if he doesn't let me breath.
He still hasn't given me his answer about Josephine yet which only makes me angrier at him. Every day that he puts it off the more resentful I become.
Even though he has come over to visit me often, it still doesn't make up for his behavior. I only speak to him when I have to. Most of the time he just sits and stares at me, not even bothering to make a conversation. It is awkward but it gives me time to think.
I often wonder if Josephine knows about me. Has he told her anything? Surely she should have suspected something different in him by now. He leaves her every morning and evening to come see me and that should have aroused suspicion. Or maybe it passes it off as pack duty.
I feel hurt and angry... among other things. This is not good for me or my wolf. We are about at our limit when it comes to the Alpha. If he doesn't accept or reject me soon then we are going to do it for him. This is getting ridiculous.
"Excuse me miss. More coffee please."
My eyes wonder to the impatient man at table three that is being entirely rude. As if banging the empty mug on the table would make it come any quicker. If anything it makes me intentionally move slower. I have no respect for people like him. I still try to remain polite to everyone though just to keep from having a complaint filed against me. I haven't had one yet and I plan to keep it that way because I really need that pay rise next month.
Grabbing the coffee pot I slowly move towards the dark brown table that sits on the opposite side of the cafe and smile politely once I reach it.
"Here you go sir."
He holds up a hand to stop me before the hot liquid escapes its container.
"Is that decaf? I only drink decaf. If it's not you can take it back and bring me what I ordered," he grumbles.
I have to bite my tongue to keep the not so kind words from escaping my mouth.
"It is." I reply as nicely as I can.
"Fine."
After he removes his hand I pour the coffee and walk away not sparing him another word as he does the same for me. Not even a simple thank you on his part, but it's not like I expected one.
Oh well I'm sure that attitude has gotten him several loogie beverages in the past and will continue in the future. I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me a little happy. I smile to myself.
"Care to share what has you so amused?"
I jump at the sound of the person's voice from the bar stool behind me. Thankfully I have already placed the pot back in its rightful place before doing so.
As I turn to face the man I am a bit shocked at who sits before me.
No. It can't be. What is he doing here? Is he on a suicide mission? Wolves from my pack are spaced all around the place with their eyes curiously on him. Though Samuel is technically on no man's land, this being town, Andrew still isn't pleased with another wolf being so close to me. Logan's orders I suppose. He looks tense while he gazes at us.
"What are you doing here?" I whisper.
I try to remain calm so that no one from my pack notices my panic. He deserves the benefit of a doubt, doesn't he? I want to believe he has a real reason for being here before I turn him over.
I take a quick sniff of the air around him and frown. I most certainly know that he is no human, so why does he smell like one? His scent has almost completely changed since last time.
He smirks and looks towards Andrew's scrutinizing eyes before answering.
"Looks like someone has you under their watch," he states. "What did you do?"
He looks back at me with clear amusement.
I almost huff until I stop myself. "I didn't do anything."
I want to say more, like asking him why he is here, but I know that if I do that then the other wolves will hear me and they will know that something is up. I can't afford that right now. I am already in enough trouble as is.
"What do you mean?" He is playing dumb to my questions.
"What I mean is did you find the friend you were looking for?" I ask.
I am trying to convey a message with my eyes and either he doesn't notice or he doesn't care. I want him to get out of here before he gets into trouble. I honestly don't feel like he is a bad person, just a little mischievous. He can't possibly pose any real threat to anyone, could he? He hasn't harmed me.
"Do you two know each other?" Andrew's voice catches me by surprise. He is standing right next to me at the end of the counter, staring at Samuel while he awaits a reply.
"We're just talking pup, relax?" Samuel says.
That is enough to make Andrew express his anger with a low throaty growl; one that only we wolves can hear. The humans seem oblivious as to what is happening...or rather about to happen.
Andrew looks back at me gravely. "Logan isn't going to like this."
"You don't have to tell him," I suggest to him before glancing at Samuel. "Our visitor was just leaving, weren't you?"
"No, actually," he grins. "I haven't even ordered anything yet."
"It's too late, I've already contacted him anyway," the Beta states. "He's on his way."
I feel my stomach drop. "Why would you do that?"
"Because there is another wolf here and he wants to talk to him. He may have some answers about the trespasser." He replies still eyeing Samuel.
Samuel smiles slyly like all of this is amusing to him and picks up the menu in front of him. His eyes scan it slowly, taking his sweet time with ordering, ignoring the suspicious Beta seated next to him.
"Having a problem with security?" he teases. "Can't the pack protect its own land?"
Andrew growls a little louder this time. "We believe someone within the pack helped him on and we're determined to find out who it was."
Wait, then that means it wasn't me. I feel overjoyed as relief comes over me. I never helped him on the land. I only told him where it was. He couldn't have entered without help.
My relief is short lived when realization sweeps over me.
Then if it wasn't me...who was it? Someone in our pack is a traitor.
That thought is very unsettling.
Samuel says nothing and only smirks. He makes sure to lower his menu to show it off too.
Andrew doesn't notice. He is too busy concentrating on the salt shaker that sits in front of him on the counter. He must be receiving or sending a message from the Alpha.
"He's here," Andrew announces suddenly, standing from his seat. His eyes flash at the door on his left awaiting his arrival.
My heart begins to thump loudly in my chest at the thought of seeing Logan again. I haven't seen him since we had words a couple nights ago and my wolf is missing him. I however, am still angry at him.
In all his glory, he finally steps through the door looking as brooding and sexy as ever. He is all business, and though that annoys me sometimes, I have to admit that, right now, it is hot.
He nods to Andrew as soon as he sees him as if replying to something. His eyes then fall directly on Samuel. They are cold and calculating. His approach seems more of a threat than a common act. Samuel doesn't even flinch in his presence. He is gutsy for an ordinary wolf.
When he moves the menu from his face completely their eyes meet, Logan tenses. It is as if knew Samuel in some way. He seems displeased to see him either way.
"What are you doing here, Samuel?" His question demands a reply.
"I thought this is mutual territory. I can be here if I want," he replies simply.
Logan frowns. "That's not what I meant. Why are you here of all places?"
Samuel shrugs as if what he is about to say is nothing. "I came to visit my dear mate of course."
I gasp. How could he possibly have a mate when he was here hitting on me only a few days ago? He wouldn't do that if he had a mate.
"She's not your mate anymore." My mate objects.
"Yes, because you took her from me." Samuel is showing something besides amusement now. It is anger, pure anger and resentment directed at my mate.
"She rejected you and severed the bond. I had nothing to do with that. She didn't tell me until it was done." Logan says.
"But it was because of your relationship with her, was it not?" Samuel accuses.
It is only then that I understand who they are talking about. It is Josephine. She is the one this whole thing is about.
Samuel was her mate.
It is rare that a wolf was ever rejected. It had to be under dire circumstances, like already being mated to someone else for example. When a wolf mates with someone that isn't their true mate it forges a bond between them and severs the intended bond completely. When and if you ever run across your true mate after that there will be nothing left besides a small recognition between the two wolves. The other mate is then free to move on with someone else as well.
What's broken can never be joined again. Whatever you decide will become permanent. It is a choice that should not be taken lightly.
"Then give her back to me. You can end it at any time." His voice holds something in it that I can't quiet place what it is, but it seems that Logan has no problem recognizing it.
"You know I can't do that now," he replies solemnly. "Everything has changed."
My heart sinks at his words. So, he isn't letting her go after all. He didn't choose me. She has persuaded him to stand by her no doubt. This is exactly what I was afraid would happen.
His eyes break from Logan and to me almost instantly. They hold pity and regret. He look like he wants to say so much, but he doesn't. He just stands there silently.
He rejects us, my wolf whispers. He chose another mate.
She whimpers the new realization and I wish for anything that I could in some way console her, but I am just as broken as her. I feel weak and sick. I have to grab onto the counter just to keep my balance. Logan becomes concerned, but doesn't move to help me.
“Tell me why it is that way, Alpha?" Samuel spits the words and looks at him in disgust. This is a side of Samuel I am not used to seeing. He is always so calm and easy going. It is completely opposite of what it is now.
"You already know, given that you were the wolf on our land the other night, weren't you?" Logan asks.
"Irrelevant," Samuel shrugs. "I'm sure your mate would love to hear the answer as well," he adds.
Logan looks defeated. He glances around the room at the many faces in the cafe. No one of them is human.Someone must have ushered them out at the confrontation. We can't risk being found out if a fight erupts. It is too important to keep our secret.
Everyone awaits for Logan's reply, including me. I want to know, even though I don't know how much more I can take. It feels as if my soul will break at any minute.
"She's pregnant." He answers. "Josephine is having our pups." His voice is so low, belying the seriousness of his statement.
No.
The pain inside me is more excruciating than I can convey. It feels as if something inside me has been ripped out. Like my soul is gone, I feel empty now. My body is nothing, but a wasteland. Nothing of importance lies within me anymore. Without Logan I am nothing but empty and broken.
I fall to the ground on my hands and knees and cry out in pain.
Someone's arms quickly wrap around my shoulder and hold me to them while I sob, letting my tears hit the floor.
"Then, I guess there is nothing else left for you to do, but make it official, is there?" The voice is right next to me. It is him, Samuel is the one to comfort me. Not Logan, not a member of my pack, but Samuel. He holds me to him closely.
"Do it," he orders. "The faster you do this, the quicker she will heal. Put an end to her suffering." He orders. He is sounding more like an Alpha with every word.
I don't look up, but I take it by my mates silence to mean that he is taking Samuel's words into consideration. He is thinking.
"I'm so sorry, Grace." It is Logan who finally speaks after a moment of pin drop silence. And then he continues. "I Alpha Logan hereby reject you, Grace Brooks as my mate and Luna of this pack. Your ties are no longer to this pack therefore you may leave upon your choosing. The decision is yours."
All the air left in my lungs escapes and I can no longer breathe. My head becomes dizzy.
He has released me, from my pack and our bond. I truly have nothing now. I am alone completely and one hundred percent.
I am disoriented and can not focus on anything anymore. Not voices, not people, not touch or anything. My senses are useless. With a loud cry my wolf lets out within me she as she disappears into nothingness. I can not feel her anymore nor can I feel myself. I am gone, just like her. And then I disappear, into a dark abyss.
One week. That's how long I have been cooped up inside my room. I was only out the first twenty four hours of it and the rest I have laid here. I only got up to use the bathroom and shower. Even that I have to force myself to do.
No one comes to visit me, no one calls to check up on me, it is just me, myself, and I inside this room. My parents are the only ones who try to console me. I can't talk to them though. I can't talk to anyone. I am too broken. I barely have the will to live. I don't want to, but I can't do that to my parents. They are the reason I am going to keep going, even if I am an hollow shell. My death would destroy them completely. I have enough respect in me not to put them through that kind of pain. After all, I have experienced a loss of my own very recently.
There is a knock at my door, before my mom sticks her head inside my room. She watches me with pity. That is something I have been receiving a lot of lately. It seems that is the only face they wear now.
"I brought you some food. Do you feel like eating?" She asks.
No. No I don't.
I don't answer; instead I roll over on my bed and face the wall. I think I have heard her sniffle before she leaves my room, but I could have been imagining it. I hate to think that this is tearing her up. I am the only one who is supposed to suffer.
Half of the day has already passed, then my mom comes in again. She replaces the tray she had left for me earlier and quickly disappears from the room. She doesn't try to talk to me again. I think she is feeling discouraged. My Dad has even tried to make a conversation with me after mom left, but I didn't talk to him either.
He gave up after a few minutes.
Before I know it, it is nightfall again. I can hear the owls in the woods, outside my house, better at dark. I often fall asleep to their sounds. It is the only thing that helps me sleep. It is almost like a melody just for me.
I sleep soundly for most of the night. I only wake up to the sound of the wind howling through the trees or when the rain picks up heavily on the roof. I am not sure when the rain started, but it is soothing nonetheless. I like more of a quiet pitter patter though. It is better when it eases up.
When daylight comes again I am awake to greet it. It is six am when I hear my dad leave for work. The loud roar of his truck startles me awake and I haven't been able to sleep since. Mom usually sleeps until nine or so, so I know she won't be awake for another hour or so.
The rain still hasn't let up yet. It spurts, becomes heavy and lightens up just as it has been doing last night. The wind is calm though. I finally decide to get up and take a shower. Also, I can no longer hold my bladder and I have to go to the bathroom anyway.
It was when I step out of the shower and enter back into my bedroom that I get a real surprise. I stumble back and almost fall to the ground when I see him standing by my open window. I let out a startled cry before he rushes over to me and places a hand over my lips.
He speaks gently when he tells me to breathe.
After a moment I realize that he isn't here to kill me. He drops his hand.
"What are you doing here?" I ask him.
I surprise myself when I speak.
These are the first words I have spoken since that day and they just happen to be to him. My voice comes out a little strained since it has been nearly a week since I said anything, but he doesn't seem to pay that much attention.
"I came to check on you and I didn't want to wake your family so I snuck in."
"Does anyone know you're here?"
"I told-," he starts but stops abruptly. He seems to be thinking over something carefully. "Yes, it's known."
That still doesn't clear up the confusion of why he is so concerned about me. I don't know why I matter to him in the slightest. He is the one that urged my mate to end things with me.
"I wanted to talk to you," he says.
I am still standing at my door in nothing but a towel, only realizing it when Samuel's eyes travel down my still dripping wet form. I blush.
It is the first bit of emotion I have felt in days. Although it is embarrassing it is nice. I take a step back from him.
"Excuse me."
I grab some articles of clothing from my closet and disappear into the bathroom to dress. Once I am sure I look presentable enough I walk back to my room where he stands in the same place I had left him.
"What do you want?" I ask.
"I told you," he says. "I came to see you."
"Well you've seen me, now you can go." I motion towards the window he snuck in with my hand.
He doesn't move. He just keeps on staring at me in a way I that am starting to raise questions.
"I also came to make you an offer," he adds.
"No." I am quick to refuse him. I just want him out of my house. All he does is to remind me of that day and I don't want to think about it anymore. That's all I have done for the past week.
"You might change your mind when you hear what I have to say."
"I doubt that."
"Have you even thought about what you're going to do now? Are you going to stay here reliving the pain of that day, every time you see them together?” He asks.
His question catches me off guard. I hadn't expected him to come right out and ask that when it hardly concerned him. Though, still, he does ask a good question. It has been only recently that I was starting to think about it. I know I need to make that decision soon.
"I haven't decided yet. What is it to you?"
His expression at my harsh tone doesn't change. He still keeps the same neutral expression he had on his face from the moment I found him here.
"I want to offer you a place in my pack."
"Why would you do that?"
His offer seems too suspicious to me. I don't know if he could be trusted after everything.
"Because I know what it's like to lose your mate. I was rejected not so long ago either. I felt the exact same thing you're going through. And no matter how much I want to hate the person who put me through this, I can't because I still love her. I've not moved on with anyone else so all of those feeling I have for Josephine are still there. And from experience, I know that you feel them for your Alpha as well."
I am surprised by how dead right he is with my feelings. I am left speechless. I forget that he also had his heart broken as well. We are on common ground. I shouldn't have treated him so horribly. I suppose, in the end, he is just trying to help me get over with Logan.
Even his name causes me to flinch.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm sorry about Josephine. No one deserves to be treated as we have."
He nods curtly, but I don't miss the flinch in him as well. "Thank you."
"So what do you propose we do? How do we get over them? I don't want to feel this way." I am eager to hear his suggestions. Anything would be better than the suffering I have been going through.
A faint smile appears on his lips at my willingness to help him. He scratches the back of his neck a little, looking a little apprehensive after a short moment.
"Well, that's what I was getting at. Just keep an open mind when I tell you okay?"
I nod instantly. “Okay.”
Then the words come spilling from his lips like he is talking about the weather. I am most certainly not prepared for what I hear.
"Be my mate," he