Chapter - 66: Radio Jockey
(Faedra's POV).
"Don't bother yourself too much, Faedra. Like I said, my men are on it, and I promise you they will find a solution to it. Just make sure you are safe. Besides, I'm always by your side; no one would dare come or put you in a situation like this," Zed reassured me with a smile on his face, and warmth flushed through my cheeks as I nodded in response.
He had been nice enough; he gave me everything I wanted, and yet I couldn't reciprocate those feelings for him.
"Besides these lingering feelings for the twins, I think your hormones being all over the place also has something to do with it. Like I said after your delivery, I will be sure to do everything I can to ensure you'll get your life back. As for your emotions, it's simply wolf terms. Everyone has a thing or two going on when pregnant, and your emotions are heightened. It takes a little time, but once it's over, you'll realize," he explained, and I nodded, still taking in a bit of information that was needed of me.
Maybe things need to be done in a better way. Starting with my feelings for Zed as a friend, it seemed like we had stood on a strong foothold, or it could be him making how he truly felt kept it a secret so I would not feel bad for him.
My mind drifted back to the truth of it all: maybe the child was safe after all; I had not done anything that could cause it harm. Besides, I felt more reassured with Zed being by my side.
"I've meant to ask this for a long time, although I see no reason to keep it from you. Is the baby safe?" Zed asked while being gentle with my feet, dusting off the remains of sand, which all fell toward my lap and legs. A wider smirk settled on my face as I listened to his words.
"I'm not sure," I responded, knowing the truth lay within my grasp, but I couldn't stand the chance of making things worse. I did not tell the twins the truth, so I couldn't tell Zed either.
"No, don't get me wrong... Not there, I mean, in a way risk something; it's just a little confusing with you being cousins and the like," Zed asked again. I heaved a sigh before pulling away from him; my eyes lingered on his for several minutes; I wasn't sure. Should I tell him the truth, or should I keep my lips sealed?
He had the right to be curious, as I didn't take much annoyance to his question, by which I admit that if time passed by, soon he was to catch up with the truth on my end. I couldn't trust anything yet or anyone. For all I knew, there are other people going on that are working off their ass to get me killed. I couldn't be too safe. Trusting everyone wasn't the best at the moment.
Zed lifted my palms into his grasp before planting slow kisses on them. I nodded slowly with a smile on my face as I listened to his words.
"Will you give me a chance, Faedra? I could be out on trial. I swear I won't mind a bit. I just wish to prove you wrong about me," Zed asked, finally breaking the words off his mind, a frown etched on his face while I wiped my hands off now, but I couldn't stop feeling guilty.
I have no excuse for a reason; I am merely doing it because I wanted to, just like my feelings for the twins; it was all a mess; Zed deserved a chance better than the two have, and maybe I loved them; maybe I felt something for them; seeing them with other ladies may bother me.
Yet I wanted to wipe off the memories of all the previous times and years of being bullied by them, and they both saw me as nothing but a weakling. I could not just allow it anymore.
"I need some time, Zed. I need to sort out these horrible things going on between the twins and me. Space and time are all I need, and I hope you understand," I asked, and Zed pulled away from me with a smile on his face. He seemed surprised at my response, and others only surprised me a bit more.
"That's better; I can make do with it; at least it isn't a complete rejection.. it is still something like a chance for me," Zed responded with a tease, but that sounded a little reassuring, even for Faedra.
"What do you intend to do, Faedra? After the whole thing? The issues and plans? What's on your mind? After the baby… you're still young and then you will get your life back, what are your story plans?" Zed asked me out of the blue, taking me by surprise.
I married my gaze towards his direction, and it seemed like he had been intent on his word, serious by every bit, with a smile etched on my face. I tried thinking hard about what to say.
However, deep within me, I already knew what the response ought to be.
"I want to be a radio jockey. It's been my plan all along; there's one thing I wish for: I wish to open a studio when I am done with all of this, and have my own office. So, that's what I want," I responded to Zed while my eyes moved over to my belly.
Maybe I have not been thinking much when I struck the deal with the twins, but there is much that needs to be done on that end. I needed a decision made real, and now I regret every word I said. I should have just stood by the ground till the last minute.
But it was too late; that had been the end. In it all, I had little to no chance. Everything made me sick to the nerves; my happiness had been sold off to them.
I had agreed to the contract signed that they were both meant to keep the babies; they had to remain with the shade and the castor immediately after delivery. It didn't seem so far away anymore it was soon, and any plans of mine, I could not have my babies in them.