Chapter 84 Chapter 83

Chapter 84 Chapter 83
"But it is..." he cut her off. He still had his hands on his face as he breathed heavily. All the emotions Maya suppressed bubbled up to the surface and her eyes began filling up with tears. She tried to reach out to him.

"I could've lost you." The words were so softly spoken, Maya would have missed them if she wasn't so close to him. The tears finally spilled out of her eyes. "And I almost did, I almost did."

It was becoming increasingly harder for him to continue. He pulled at his hair. " I lost our child. By the gods, don't you hate me for that?"

Maya was dumbstruck, she froze. "Why would I? Yes, I'm hurt that I lost our child but why would I hate you for that? I need you more Dexter. You're most important."

She pulled his hands away from his face. "I-i don't know what I will do if you're not there. And I'm more terrified of losing you than anything else. So please, stop blaming yourself. Please."

Dexter stared at her as she held his hands. Though tears were running down her face and still smiled at him. Unbiddenly, she remembered the time before the attack when he wouldn't stop smiling at her and more tears filled her eyes. He must have known then. Gut-wrenching pain seared through her at the memory and her lips began trembling.

Suddenly, he wrapped his hands around her waist, resting his head on her stomach. "I had only known our child for a few hours Maya..." he began, his voice breaking. "But I loved it. I loved our child. And I hate myself for not being able to protect the two of you."

Maya wrapped her hands around his head, gently patting his curls. "it's okay. We're going to be okay." she whispered over and over again.

For the first time in her life, she prayed that the words will become true for the two of them.
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The week-long banquet soon ended and everything seemed to be going back to normal. Well, almost everything. There were still a few things that were left to be sorted out. Thankfully, Dexter didn't avoid her as heavily as before, if anything he seemed to have grown more attentive to her. Maya was happy he wasn't pulling away from her like before and she seemed to like it at first but it didn't take long for her to grow tired of it.

He had fed her till she gained weight and stopped her from doing anything strenuous. Also, she couldn't go anywhere without a trail of soldiers and guards beside her, an act she found incredibly exhausting. And although he held her every night they went to sleep, Maya couldn't help but think it wasn't as intimate as before. Everyone in the Palace just treated her like she was deathly ill and it began to grate her nerves.

The time for Gavin's trial drew nearer and although she waited for Dexter to discuss it with her, he had yet to say a word. Being kept in the dark like this caused a lot of unnecessary thoughts to swirl in her head and she soon grew agitated.

She didn't want to continue like this. If this stretched out for too long, Maya feared there would be a rift in their relationship. She wanted the old Dexter back. The one who told her everything and wasn't afraid to be vulnerable with her. So that night when he came back from his duties, she decided to voice out her concerns.

The moment Dexter walked into the chambers, he noticed her sour mood and paused instantly. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, arms crossed and lips pursed into a thin line.

"Is everything okay?" Dexter asked, a tinge of worry in his voice as he walked closer to her.
"No, everything is not fine," Maya murmured in a low voice, not trying to keep the displeasure away from her voice as she frowned at him. He looked troubled but kept his feelings at bay.

"What is it?"

"It's you." she started flatly. Unfolding her hands, she let out a breath. "Why haven't you been speaking with me lately?"

Dexter's face grew into one of confusion as he watched her. "What do you mean? I don't understand."

"You have not been speaking with me lately," she repeated calmly. "Aren't there things I should know about?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.
Dexter shrugged. "Not really, everything is fine. You're probably just overthinking it."

"I'm not overthinking anything. And if I am, it's because you led me to this point. I thought we already put that behind us. Why does it still feel like you're meters away even when you're close to me?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I've been doing everything I'm supposed to do." Dexter murmured.

"No, you haven't! If you have, I wouldn't be sitting here angry with you."

Dexter's head snapped up in surprise. "You're angry? With me?"
All the reply he got was another huff of breath.

"I really can't understand you right now. What is it that you want?"

To stop treating me like a baby. I'm your wife! Maya wanted to scream at him but afraid she would sound too forward, clamped her mouth shut instead. Taking in a deep breath, she stared at him with hazel eyes that brimmed with anger. "You're not the way you used to be, Dexter. And I don't like this new version of you. Until you figure out what you've been doing wrong, I'll be in my chambers."
With that, she picked up herself from the bed and walked calmly out of the chambers, leaving Dexter stunned behind her.

However, she regretted that decision the second she stepped out of the doors. Turning back at the closed doors, she bit her lips worriedly. How is she supposed to explain that she needed his company more and was scared that he might be distancing himself from her? She groaned, grabbing her forehead. Despite her calm demeanor, she'd let her emotions get the better of her.

With conflicting thoughts, Maya trudged to her chambers amidst the confused looks on the guard's faces. Maya arrived at her chambers and hated her decision even more. Glaring at the overly bright paintings of her chambers, she scowled. She'd never spent a night in her chambers before. And besides won't this make things worse? She wouldn't be able to take it if he truly began distancing himself from her.
She was still debating on whether to go back when she heard a knock on her door. Without bothering to wait for a reply, the door opened and Dexter rushed in, breathing heavily. Apparently, He had chased after her. He walked up to her till she was merely inches away from him.

"Can you explain what just happened? Why are you so angry?" He asked again.
"You're still avoiding me, Dexter."
"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I swear to you, I am not!"