Chapter 83 Chapter 82

Chapter 83 Chapter 82
Tears filled his eyes at the words that came out of Maya's mouth. Maya clutched her stomach, curling into herself. It didn't take long for him to begin to hear sobs.

"I'm sorry..." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. He slowly made his way to her. Drawing her into embrace, he held her thin body that had slept begun shaking with sobs. "I'm sorry." He repeated again and she sobbed even louder.
As they held each other, they let the grief of loosing an unborn child wash over them, pulling them into unknown depths of despair.
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Maya cried herself to sleep that night, still wrapped in Dexter's embrace. When she woke up the next morning, Dexter was nowhere to be found. The attendant that came to see her told her he had gone back to the battlefield and had left orders that they should return to the castle.
Too emotionally drained to argue, she just allowed them to take her back. Her head and body hurt but what hurt the most was her heart. The knowledge that she had lost a child and she wasn't even aware of it always strangled her. She closed her mind to it multiple times but that was almost impossible.

They brought her back to the palace. There, she saw the damage the attack had caused. A lot of the castle workers were excited to see her safely return both most were particularly anxious about the results of the war. They welcomed her warmly and the royal doctors immediately commenced treatment, feeding her with herbs and potions so she spent most of her time sleeping. Apart from them, it seemed like no one else knew she was pregnant, and honestly, she was grateful for it.

A week later, victory was announced. The King and his soldiers had successfully conquered the opposition and won the war, capturing the traitor. Madonna was saved. Exorbitant cheers broke out in every part of the palace and Maya could see the relieved looks on everyone's faces. A huge waiting party was waiting for them when the King and his soldiers arrived. She learned that Nicholas was killed in the battle but Gavin had been captured and was going to be in the dungeons awaiting his judgment.

Though she was glad to see him return unharmed, she could also see the sadness in his eyes. Sadness so palpable it broke her all over again. The castle threw a week-long banquet for the victory they acquired and everyone seemed to be affected by the festive atmosphere. Everyone except them.

Maya stood in front of the mirror in Dexter's chambers, staring at her reflection in the mirror, a somber look on her face. Though she had been dressed appropriately for the banquet, nothing was quite cheering her up.
"You don't have to appear if you don't want to." Came Dexter's voice from behind her. She turned to look at him. He too was equally dressed and although he had a warm smile on her face, his eyes told a different story. Maya forced out a smile.

"I'll only stay for a little while. It won't be right to not show up. After all, you did it to save my life." She replied as she dressed her hair.

"Okay. But we have to appear together." He said.

"Of course," she replied. He smiled but as always, it didn't quite reach his eyes. The sight broke her heart all over again. He seemed to be taking the knowledge of their miscarriage harder than she once had. Before she could point it out to him, he stretched out his hand, beckoning for her, hiding his pain away. Maya put her hands in his and he led her out of the chambers.

Once they entered the banquet hall, everyone bowed, greeting them. They stayed that way till they were sitting down on the throne provided for them. Only at the king's order did they rise. He gave a speech before requesting for the banquet to continue with beautiful music wafting through the air, and everyone dancing. Occasionally, nobles would walk up to them and give their pleasantries alongside their presentation of gifts. If Maya noticed the strange shift in the noble's treatment of her, she didn't let on.

She soon got tired of it and requested to leave. Dexter immediately agreed and she stood up. Once more, everything stopped and Maya bowed on her way out. She returned to the king's chambers, flanked by guards.

Getting out of her clothes, Maya slipped into a night dress and landed on the bed, exhausted. Still, sleep wouldn't come easily. Subconsciously, she found her hands going to her belly and tears filled her eyes, her lips trembling. She quickly cleaned her tears and curled into herself. Dexter arrived much later and when he joined her in bed, he smelled of wine. Despite all the celebrations going on outside the doors of the chamber, the air in the chambers felt heavy as each of them was lost in their thoughts.

"You're not asleep, are you?" Dexter finally asked after a while. Maya shook her head before muttering the words, "No, I couldn't sleep." She felt him shift in the bed but he didn't come to her, so she turned to him.

"What about you? You seemed to have drunk quite a lot." She asked. She heard him sigh, but no words came out of his mouth. "I'm worried about you, dexter." she finally said. "You've been acting very different ever since you came back from the war.

"I'm fine," he muttered. His tone was curt, clipped. A perfect indication that he wasn't, at all. She shifted closer to him till their bodies were almost touching.

"Are you angry at me?" she whispered, her voice wobbly.

"I'm not angry at you."

"Are you angry that I lost our child? Tell me, Dexter, you're scaring me," she said, sounding desperate. Then in a softer tone, continued.

"What's going on?" she insisted "Are... Are you blaming yourself for the loss of our child?" She forced herself to ask. Though the question cut through her like a knife, she had to know. Maya saw him shudder and a visible gulp was heard. Dexter ran his hand through his hair, grabbing his face afterward.

"I'm not angry at you." He finally said, sounding strained. "I'm angry at myself."

"Why? You did nothing wrong."

"How can you say that?! I failed to protect you!"

"You saved my life."

"That wasn't enough. I should have done more. I should've done more. Things could have gone dreadfully wrong. And I failed... I failed to protect our child." he heaved out.

"That wasn't your fault."