Chapter 60 - Abstract patterns

**Goras/ The Monsters pov**

My gaze wandered over the room and its contents and I felt the warm tears running down my cheeks. I had done this, admittedly in concert with the evil within me but I had been involved. He hadn’t locked me in my own consciousness and forced me to witness the carnage, no, not this time. My need for blood after my time in the cell drove me, nothing else mattered, nothing was more important than my dry throat feeling the velvety feel of warm blood. My first victim was a man, an elderly gentleman walking his dog, probably a walk he took every evening. I approached him from behind, sunk my fangs in his throat while covering his nose and mouth, it was all over quickly. He was a rather thin and small figure but dressed in baggy clothes so even though the pants were a little too short, the rest sat pretty well on my body. The dog looked at me curiously, as if it didn’t understand what had just happened. Was I to be his new daddy?

“Kill the mongrel and we’ll leave.” The monster wanted to move on, the little man’s blood had quenched the worst thirst right now but soon it would return probably even stronger.

“I’m not going to kill the dog, look at her, she’s adorable!” She really was, a cocker spaniel mix, reminded me a bit of Lady in Lady and The Tramp. I took the man’s wallet who fortunately had some money, that was something I learned about older people, they rarely left home without cash, I tied the dog’s leash around a lucky pole, someone would find her and her owner and the police would take care of her. If the man had a wife, they could comfort each other.

I checked into a shabby motel, cash payment, no questions asked. After I got the key I headed out, I found a liquor store and went in and bought a bottle of the cheapest vodka and then I didn’t have to go far before I found what I was looking for.

“A chilly evening...” I addressed the group standing and conversing around a lit oil drum. There were five of them, 2 men and three women.

“You are welcome to warm up here with us.” The one woman moved a little to make room for me.

“Thank you, you are very kind. But it’s actually me who wants to offer you something. A moment in warmth, indoors, sheltered from the rain, and a drink to keep your coats off.” I held up the bag with the bottle and their eyes immediately lit up. None of them hesitated, they all followed me. What threat could I pose? I was one, they were five.

They got what they were promised, I let them empty the bottle and they relaxed in the warmth of the room. The last room they would ever visit.

I looked at the slit throats, the women’s terrified looks forever etched in their wide open eyes. The yellowed walls were now painted in abstract red patterns. Some from a pulsating jet of blood from an artery, others by a body in a desperate attempt to escape before finally sinking to the floor.

“Sorry…I’m so sorry…” I found myself crawling around between the bodies, I tried to close their eyes but they had stiffened enough to open a little again, as if refusing to let go of their killer with their gaze, as if they would follow me wherever I went after this. I straightened them out, arranged them in respectable positions instead of the twisted forms in which they took their last breaths. I tore all the large cloths I could find, the sheets on the bed, the curtains from the windows and covered them in their final rest. I don’t know how long I had been with them, nor how long I would stay. My tears continued to flow and the same words flowed out of my mouth over and over again.

“Sorry…I’m so sorry…Sorry…I’m so sorry…Sorry…I’m so sorry…”

My body was now saturated with blood, all my veins restored and healthy. I dragged myself into the bathroom and turned on the shower. While I waited for the hot water, I studied myself in the mirror. My usual checky, charming self was gone. All I could see was a defeated man, a man who had given up. The feelings came like a chain reaction. First warmth and happiness, so palpable I could barely breathe, I knew it meant my father had recovered. Then came the cold and the ache in my chest, the inevitable reaction to my betrayal of him, after that came the fear, so intense that it felt like all my insides were breaking into a cold sweat, not a fear of further punishment or even death, no, the fear to never again feeling the warmth of his love.

Using the sink and the walls to steady me, I got into the shower but I couldn’t feel if the water was too hot or too cold. My whole inside was in revolt.

“Please…take over…”

“Uh excuse me? I didn’t hear, can you repeat yourself.” The mocking tone in the Monster’s voice was unmistakable.

“You heard me! TAKE OVER!!!” A derisive chuckle was all I heard before I let the darkness embrace and carry me away.

Weak weak weak!!! Always as weak! He didn’t have what it took. A little boy desperate for daddy’s love. Nonsense! Pathetic! But I have to be smart. He resents this apartment we share and he has access to most of the rooms and if I’m not smart, if I let him see through me he’ll find there’s a way to evict me. No, I can’t risk that. My plan is the opposite, I will take over, completely. I’m going to delete Gora if he doesn’t give in and live the way I want. I have never understood what the problem is. I can free us from his father’s oppression, we can live free as the superior predator that we are. The world and all the blood in it would lie at our feet. But one thing at a time. Today he suffers, so much so that he gave me the reins. He didn’t just give them, he begged me to take them. And I must admit that I was proud of him. Admittedly, he chose a bunch of homeless people that few, if any, would miss. But he did it with cunning, keeping them calm and comfortable until the last second. Fear in blood is the most wonderful taste, but it should be quick and shocking, the quick dose of adrenaline turns it into the sweetest nectar. Blood marinated in horror for a long time becomes bitter and dry...like a cheap bad wine. He had killed quickly, seasoned the blood with the exact amount of fear. Of course his humanity caught up with him and we spent hours on the floor among the congealing bodies. But it was worth it. He had taken a step in exactly the direction I wanted. Now I just have to keep him on the same path, not let him turn or deviate. I have to think and be smart…not something I like, I’m more the impulsive type, but this would require my restraint, my cunning. I would play along, be docile while planting ideas about what we should do next. He has to believe they are coming from him...once he discovers the truth it will be too late and he will have two choices. Give in or give up. I hope he gives in…I hate him most of the time. The kind and caring Gora, he makes me feel sick…but he is mine, precisely as I am his…we are one.

I came down to the counter in the cramped entrance of the motel. The same pimpled guy sat on the other side. I tossed my key onto the counter and got his attention.

“Hey! I have a question…”

“Yes?.” He did not immediately redeem out of service, preferring to continue with what appeared to be a game on his cell phone.

“Do you have CCTV here?” At first he looked confused, then he grinned and nodded towards the corner behind me. I followed his gaze and felt the irritation when I saw a wall mounted camera.

“It’s a dummy…”

“A what?”

“A dummy, a fake, it’s to fool the crackheads, but it’s not connected to anything. The owner of this lovely place is a cheap bastard.” He rolled his eyes for effect. Poor kid, he thought we bonded, if only he knew what awaited him. I laughed quietly at the comical situation.

“Oh…good to know, I don’t like being filmed.” I quickly reached across the counter and grabbed his throat, and with a hard pressure I crushed it. I licked my lips as he took his last breath, drowning in his own blood, it took a lot not to rip open his skin and gulp down the young blood. But I had just showered, my clothes were clean and I had a long journey ahead of me. I wanted to get as much done as possible before Gara asked for control back, which of course I would give him, for now.

It had stopped raining and the air felt fresh and promising. The sun would rise in a few hours, so I would have to find shelter, but I could probably put a good distance behind me before that.

I directed my steps towards the north, towards the mountains, towards Great Falls.