Chapter 59 - Apologies

**Ina's pov**

I took small sips from the hot coffee after silently saying a spell for the caffeine to increase in strength. The night's drive was felt in both mind and body and I needed to cheat a little to become more alert.

“A bath in Zandra's lake water? Is that what you've come up with is worth trying?” His voice dripped not only with sarcasm but also with…mockery.

"He can't get worse from it... according to Zara, the water chooses who it will heal, who deserves it, like..." I heard the doubt in my voice and wished she had been here to convince him, she would have done it better.

“Zara?”

“Yes, Zandra's granddaughter, to make it short.”

"I know who she is, I just didn't know she was involved." His voice changed to disapproving and contemptuous and I felt like defending her. At the same time, I knew what she was up to as a child and if James lived there then, he might have been the recipient of her...hustle.

"Zara is an adult now, no longer the child you knew." I tried to be calm but my voice still came out quite shrill.

"Isn't she Ambrogio's mate?... You know, Prince of the Night, the father of every bloodsucker that walks this earth?"

"It's complicated..." I didn't know why myself, that was the only answer she gave me when I asked the same question myself. It was complicated, she would explain everything in due time.

"Everything about Zara is complicated, it always has been, and yet I was one of those who used to defend her antics." He seemed to remember something special and I really wanted to know what.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…the other kids used to warn me about her, saying she was trouble and it was best to stay away…but I was a bit of an outsider myself so you know, I thought, how bad could she be? I soon learned that she has two faces, one was the weird misunderstood girl, and the other was the devil inside her who stabbed you in the back, not for any reason but just because she could.” He returned to the present, but I wanted to know more.

"What did she do?" He looked at me and for a second I thought he was going to answer, but he shook his head and drank from his coffee.

"It doesn't matter...we were children...and it's not my story to tell, if she wants to tell it, she can do it." His tone said it was done and I didn't want to risk pissing him off so he would send me back.

“James…”

“Jesse!”

"What?"

“I prefer to be called Jesse. James was what I was called as a child.”

"Oh…doesn't James sound older than Jesse?"

"It has nothing to do with how it sounds, it has to do with the time in my life the two names represent."

"I understand…Jesse then…I just want…I know I went too far and I want to tell you how sorry I am. It wasn't my right to get involved, Cathy didn't want me to do anything I did, it's important you know that.”

"I know, and it's ok, no major damage done." He sounded sincere and it felt good to hear that.

"Not for me anyway, you gave me a bunch of rough nights, it was worse for Cathy." Ouch, of course, he didn't care what I put him through, he could forgive that. But his wolf wouldn't forgive what I did to his mate in the first place. For the first time since I arrived, I felt him. He had probably stayed away, maybe on purpose, maybe he hadn't woken up yet. But he was awake now. It was a contrast to any wolf I'd encountered before, even Freespi, who was of alpha blood paled in comparison. His aura was not only strong, it was dominant, paralyzing almost.

“Fuck…and I'm not even a wolf.” My thought slipped into a whisper and I saw James's now dark eyes regain their color.

"I'm sorry about that, he sees it in a different way, but you don't have to be afraid, he doesn't want to hurt you, he knows Freespi loves you." His words immediately created a film of tears in my eyes and made my throat feel constricted. I knew I hurt Cathy and that was what I had felt the worst about…but Freespi, I should have realized…she hadn't rejected James or his wolf…of course she was the one who would suffer the most from what I did. And James wolf knew it.

"What's his name?"

“Argus…” His response was not questioning but reserved, as if bracing himself for a clash. It proved that maybe I shouldn't be fearless like he just said. I nodded slowly, gathering my courage and taking a deep breath before looking him in the eyes. I gazed past the thick eyelashes, past the sunny green-blue, what reminded me of a sunny day by the sea on an island like Ios in Greece. I focused on his pupils and drilled deeper.

“I would like to speak with you, Argus.” My voice was deep but I made sure he heard the respect in it. I could see James' brow furrow in question before his eyes darkened again. He said nothing but I knew for sure that Argus was back in front of me.

"Argus…I know what you must think of me…" I heard a short snort in response as I filled my lungs with fresh air.

“I know I didn’t just hurt Cathy…I hurt Freespi too. Trust me when I say I love that wolf! I mean, I love Cathy, but Freespi…wow, she’s really one of a kind…in between it was her and me against Cathy…It could drive Cathy crazy but we thought it was hilarious!” I chuckled at a particular memory that popped up. We had volleyball practice in the gymnasium at school. Cathy had bad ball sense when sober but when hungover it was like watching a clown at a circus. The night before she had refused us something we really wanted to do, skinny dipping and looking for the Loch Ness monster which for some reason we thought we would find in a small paddling pool outside Glasgow. She had ended our fun evening in a sour mumble about how childish we were. So during the volleyball, I had made sure that all the balls were sent toward her and Freespi had refused to help catch them.

“I was…lost you could say…I didn’t grow up like Cathy, I know that’s no excuse but I’ve always envied you wolves…the way you find your mates…that’s something I missed myself, the feeling of belonging together with someone...So...when Cathy told your story I was engrossed in it. I tried to bring you together and make you miss each other so much that you would have no choice but to reunite. I didn’t think about what it would do to Freespi…she’s the only one who’s completely innocent in this…” I could see his eyes darken and I knew I was taking a risk, but I continued, might as well run the line.

“Oh no, come on Argus…you’re not innocent! You are a strong wolf, the strongest I’ve come across in fact…and you let James accept Cathy’s rejection, and not only that, you let him reject her back even though you should have felt her wolf awaken…that’s something that bothered me actually, she woke up to your rejection, you should have felt her long before.” I was surprised at the conclusion I drew but it felt right, especially now that I felt his power. A dull growl rose from James’ throat. Maybe it was to scare me, put me in my place. Who was I to challenge him? But I stood my ground and more determined than ever I raised my chin and stared back into his dark eyes. I don’t know how long the power struggle went on as in the periphery I could see the claws of James’ fingers digging into the armrest of the couch where he sat. I could also see how his lips bulged out, probably because the fangs were growing out from under them. I felt a drop of sweat find its way from my neck, down my spine under my blouse until it was finally absorbed by the waistband of my pants. I decided to break the silence.

“I mean no harm, Argus…I just want to help and I swear I will never…ever ever go behind the back of either Cathy or Freespi again…please all I ask for is a chance…” I lowered my gaze, I knew that this is how they show submission and it was the best I could do in this situation. I could hear his heavy breathing and how after a minute or so it got lighter.

“Ina…” I looked up, and James was back.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to offend him…” He smiled at my comment, not happily, more passionately or melancholic.

“It’s okay...you were partially right, not completely but partially. He understands that too.”

“So…can we continue?” He looked a bit questioning so I tried to be more clear.

“With the plan to heal your friend!”

“Ah…the water from Zandra’s lake…”

“Precisely!”

“I remember one time when I was sent to Zandra… The old Alpha sent me there with Kevin. He had broken his wrist during a parkour session I had with him in the forest. That was before he got his wolf. Zandra took us to the lake, she told Kevin to swim across and back, no matter how much his wrist hurt.”

“But when he came back it was healed, right?”

“Wrong…he hurt more than ever and when I asked Zandra what the point of this was, why she let my brother suffer needlessly, she only replied that the lake knows what is necessary. Healing Kevin’s ankle would have been merciful, comforting…but not necessary as his body can do the same thing, it just takes a little longer.”

“See, then it should work, your friend Hitch, his body can’t heal this cancer!” I felt hope after hearing his story.

“True. But Zandra also said something else…”

“What?”

“Water is just water, the decisions are in the soul.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m not entirely sure…but the best analogy I can make is through a question…”

“A question? To me?”

“Yes”

“Okay, then ask.”

“Ina…can your sweat perform magic?”