12⁰Summer cutting part 2

{spring Kingdom}

Bella

I regretted it when I married the man, who proved to be a person totally the opposite, of what he truly was in fact. Such regret totally consumes me with each and every day that passes, at his side.

How could I have been so wrong, I should have suspected from the beginning, in his looks of repulsion directed at me, and I believed to be of enchantment for my person.

The sweet manner in which we first met was a pretense, I could have kept an eye on his movements and actions. If I could go back in time the very moment I learned of the engagement I had screamed that I would not marry, and if I forced myself to, I would run away without looking back, I would do everything, but I would never climb on high to join him.

Misery is even better than, live in luxury in the same environment as him. Being cold, hungry and humiliated is easier to put up with day after day, than living in this world of royalty.

Where everything is artificial, nothing is real.

But let me be carried away by my imagination of a happy marriage for love, my desire to be happy in an arranged communion. I close my eyes making me believe only what my mind allowed, left the warnings to the side, that was my greatest sin. I should have proposed to extend the wedding date. 

Now I could be in my kingdom trying to save it from misery, I would wake up early, work hard to do my own thing if it came to not being able to support servants in the castle. All this would be better than this life I'm living, an ache takes me for the nostalgia I have for the memories when I was a child, so innocent without knowing of the terrible future I would enjoy in the future. 

If I had known that life would be like this, I would never have married, I would have stayed small forever, I didn't mind growing up, nothing in adult life made me want to continue living. Every moment I discovered things that scare me, people turned out to be what I never expected, phrases that made me cry, and events that torment me.  Everything is in complete chaos, and I'm the only one who can't stand this coexistence of lies, falsehood and hypocrisy.

- I can't regret living in the same castle with you any more than I already do. In fact, you can't do anything against me. - I said with all the hatred I was feeling.

- Yes I can. - he said, stepping closer to me.

Before I could ask what he could do against me, I felt the side of my cheek burn. I can't believe that asshole hit me. An anger overwhelmed me so much that I went for him, returning the slap that was etched on his face, the force was so great that he turned his face away. 

He looked at me with an expression that chilled my spine with dread. He smiled.

- You'll regret this completely. - I don't like his closeness, his presence makes me nauseous.

Without waiting, Antony held my neck, squeezing it with all his strength, the expression on his face is one of joy for noticing the despair on my face. Tears were already streaming down my face from the lack of air, and from the fear coursing through my body.

- This is just a small demonstration of what I can do, and don't you ever lay a finger on me again. If you don't, I will kill you, and don't you dare say anything about what happened here, or your dear servant will suffer deeply and it will be all your fault. By the way, she has a very attractive body. - he said, leaving me with no reaction. 

He wouldn't have the courage to do anything, would he? He wouldn't be such a coward.

I sat down on the floor and cried like I hadn't cried in a long time. How had I not realized that I had married a monster? I was so wrapped up in falling in love with him that I didn't see how cold, without feeling he is. I stood there crying what I had to cry, hiding so that no one would notice my weakness and my pain in knowing that nothing good would come of leaving the marriage. I got up to go to my room, I walked quickly so that no one would notice my situation, face swollen from crying and eyes red, when I entered, I found my mother. I sighed, holding back the tears so as not to let them come out again. 

- Mom, what are you doing here in my room? - I asked, running my hand over my face.

- Bella, my dear, what was that on your face? - she asked, running her hand over my face, where I could see the marks of my husband's fingers.

In front of her, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hold back the tears, so I told her everything that had happened.

My mother could believe in me, would stand by me, and welcome me in what I must do. Like all mothers she wishes for my joy, she will surely tell my father everything, that way he can face Antony and in the bargain I could return to my kingdom spend a season season.

- Bella, did you tell this to anyone else besides me, or did they see you with a red cheek? - my mother asked, leading me to sit on the bed.

- No, but I will tell everyone, so that they know what Antony is really like. - I answered, not understanding what she was going to do.

I will make everyone see what Antony is really like, that the good guy he makes himself out to be is simply a camouflage to hide his real self.

- Don't do this, don't sully your husband's reputation. I'm sure he has lost his mind with the many problems a king has to face and I know that you are not helping him with the kingdoms affairs either. You just keep leaving God knows where. - said the woman who put me in the world, the one who was supposed to be by my side.

I was paralyzed without reaction, tears were falling and despair filled my body, passing through every limb like a cold stream in rainy weather until it reached my brain, the feeling of disgust discredited that even a word came out of her mouth. I am alone in this terrifying situation, Esmeralda is the only one that comes to my mind as a refuge. But what can a powerless queen, without authority and voice, do with a servant against all? Nothing!