Look at Me
Fahmeen's POV:
"Will you stay asleep a little longer? There's no need to be up so early whilst you're here."
It is cold this morning, and so I wrap the cover tighter around me. Rolf returns to the bed only to kiss my forehead.
"A king must work wherever he is. The whole world is his office." I couldn't help feeling confused. After the talk with my parents, I returned to a hungry Rolf. He met my every desire and fell soundlessly asleep. I wanted to take a closer look at the letters but I figured it could wait till the next day. So now his rush in leaving this cocoon of comfort and pleasure we'd built was disconcerting.
"Your behaviour eludes me." I sigh.
His back straightens after slipping on his shirt.
"Yesterday was perfect." He offers before resuming to dress.
"Was it?"
He didn't ask how things went with my parents, or notice anything amiss in my expression. But I longed for his comfort and so I enjoyed it. So what am I doing now? Complaining or rightfully enquiring about his sharp changes in behaviour? Rolf faces me, stopping the task of buttoning up his shirt altogether. He sighs tiredly with a frown on his face. Then he must have found something funny as his mouth tilts up in amusement.
"Is my queen not satisfied? Because..."
He slides warm hands up my legs, running my inner thigh. This is a distraction.
"I want to satisfy."
"No." I close my legs and sit across from him.
"You satisfy me. Maybe I am overthinking." I watch his reaction and he seems accepting of my words.
"Yes." He stands up.
"There is nothing wrong here. Enjoy your time in Covas whilst you can. We sail back first thing tomorrow." He smiles then leaves.
Rolf's POV:
The doors are closed behind me and I have a short moment of regret. I do not enjoy misleading my wife but it seems necessary to soothe her. I do not need to stoke the blaze of worry she has of me. It is my job as king and husband to reassure every person under my responsibility. The entire North seems content under one rule, and that hasn't happened before. My people are un-settlers, our eyes are greedy and hard and we take what we want. That is why the state of lands at the moment, is satisfactory. It might have taken a couple of years, but Oko has posed no threat to us and I will take no active part in being Micah's ally. He'll get what he deserves. Loki arrives just in time. I hope with what I've asked of.
"I have what you dispatched me for." He was a good friend, both to me and Fahmeen. It seemed no bother to him when I asked for this, even that it meant him travelling back home.
"I hope it wasn't too bad of a journey?"
He chuckles and shakes his head no, handing me the tightly bound documents.
"I know how important this is to you. My king."
Our eyes share an understanding. Does he also share the weight of emotion I feel. It is both burdensome and tiring. Slow in its taking of one's soul. It seems it has gripped us both.
"How are you both?"
He is asking about my wife. I know Loki is soft on her, it is obvious. Still, I have known this man for a long time.
Fahmeen's POV:
"Hello Derek."
"Ah!" He appeared genuinely surprised, or worried upon seeing me.
"How are you Fahmeen?" He straightens the brooch on his jacket and his spine. Clearly bumping into each other had dishevelled him.
"Why are you so jumpy? Is Sapphire here too?"
Derek clears his throat and tells me no. That this trip was business, and business only. Before I could say anything else, he leaves.
"He is a strange man." Rolf hugs me from behind. I tilt my head for his kiss on my neck.
"Finished your work?"
"Mmhm." He smells of fresh rain. He kisses the back of my head, lips lingering there as we watch people from the banisters.
"People always stay busy here." He wonders out loud. Maids and guards occupy the entire ground floor. Derek wasn't the only visitor today.
"Yes, just like you." I was hoping he'd say something about what this morning was about. He gives me Freydis' letters and leaves me alone, I suppose to read into them more. Suddenly my mother appears. She carries that same look in her eye from last night.
"Is everything alright mother?" I feel bad for raising my voice at her, blaming her. She turns almost pale.
*Flashback to Covas twenty odd years ago*
*He gazes at me from the stairs. Stairs that I shared in building with my husband. Alone, he walks down and I know that if my husband were here, he could not look at me like that. The walls were so bright and clean. No mud on my shoes, the air inside this palace was not fresh. I liked how the wind couldn't disturb my hair here.*
*As if he knew what I had just thought, the invader's gaze falls down my straight hair. There are far greater things to admire like he is doing to me, on the walls around us. He holds out his arm, and it is only right that I take it. Does he not care for my husband? Come, I want to show you everything. His dark eyes gleam with a promise. Or is it a debt? Either way I am compelled, as I now admire him too.*
"Mother?"
Her eyes watch me again, as if she'd returned from a dream. I wonder what ghost had stolen her breath?