Chapter 196 The Death of My First Love
>>Azef
From my bedroom window, I had an angled view of the street outside. Through that certain angle I could see the road from between the walls of my house. There was no gate between the walls, that's how Sarina always got in. This neighborhood was weird and wasn’t safe but Mom never bothered to get a gate.
I watched as Sarina stepped out of the entrance, her laughter still echoing in my ears from the jokes we had shared moments before.
She turned back to look at me, a bright smile lighting up her face. I waved at her, feeling the warmth of our friendship in that simple gesture. She waved back, her eyes locked on mine, and for a moment, it was as if time slowed down. The world outside seemed to blur, and all I could see was her, her hand moving in a slow, graceful arc.
But then, the moment shattered.
The moment of pure bliss was shattered by something horrifying.
Sarina didn’t look back at the road as she stepped off the curb. I saw it all unfold in agonizing slow motion—the truck barreling down the street, the driver's frantic attempt to stop. My heart leapt to my throat as I screamed her name, but the sound was swallowed by the sudden, violent collision.
Her body crumpled like a ragdoll, and the sickening sound of the impact echoed in my ears, a cacophony of metal and flesh. I was frozen, my hand still mid-wave, my mind refusing to process the horror of what I had just witnessed. The truck skidded to a halt, and there was a deafening silence, the kind that follows a nightmare realized.
Her body literally flew, and it was such a violent impact that a show of hers filled with blood landed in my house.
I stumbled back from the window, my legs weak, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and disbelief. My vision blurred with unshed tears as I clung to the sill, desperately trying to hold onto the image of her smiling and waving, to erase the reality of what had just happened.
Emptiness settled into my chest, like a cold, heavy stone sinking deeper with each passing second. Despair washed over me. It felt as if a vital part of me had been torn away, leaving a gaping wound that bled raw, unrelenting pain.
What was this? I clutched my chest tightly as tears streamed down my face.
I stumbled to the window, my hands trembling as I tried to open it. The latch refused to budge. Panic surged through me, a frantic, all-consuming need to get to her, to see her up close, to confirm that this was all some horrible mistake.
I yanked at the window, my fingers slipping on the cool glass, my frustration mounting with each failed attempt. I looked down and saw the padlock on the outside, it was open. But my arms were just too weak to open the old rusty thing!
"No, no, no!" I shouted, my voice cracking with despair. I slammed my fists against the glass, the sound echoing in the room, but the window held firm, an impenetrable wall between me and the horror outside.
I pounded harder, my knuckles bruising with each blow, my voice rising in a crescendo of anguish. "Sarina!" I screamed, the name tearing from my throat, raw and desperate. The glass didn't shatter, it didn't yield. It mocked me with its strength, my helplessness reflected back at me in the darkening evening light.
I heard the heavy, hurried footsteps of someone running from inside the house towards the road.
!!!
My head snapped toward the sound, I had limited vision from the window but my view did extend towards the entrance.
I saw my mother's boyfriend run towards the road to see what had happened.
My heart pounded with a mixture of hope and dread. Her father came into view, his face a mask of confusion and concern.
At first, he glanced up and down the street, trying to make sense of the commotion, his eyes searching for the source of the crash. I watched from my trapped vantage point.
His gaze fell on the crumpled form lying in the street. For a split second, I saw the confusion on his face, the slow dawning of realization as he took in the sight of the broken body. The world seemed to pause, holding its breath as he stared, his eyes widening in shock.
"Sarina!" I shouted, my voice a desperate plea that barely registered.
Then, the recognition hit him, and his expression twisted into one of pure, unbridled panic. "Sarina!" he screamed, the word tearing from his throat with a raw, guttural agony that echoed my own. He sprinted toward her, his movements frantic, almost stumbling in his haste.
I watched, powerless, as he reached her, dropping to his knees beside her lifeless body. His hands trembled as he touched her, the disbelief and horror etched into every line of his face. "Sarina, no, no, no," He muttered, his voice breaking with each word. He gathered her in his arms, cradling her head against his chest, his tears falling onto her still, pale face, “Hey! Hey! You’re okay!!”
She looked at him, the light in her eyes leaving, then barely raised her finger to point at me. He turned to look at me, our eyes met for a second, but right the next second her arm fell lifelessly.
"Help!" He shouted, looking around wildly, his voice a desperate cry that pierced the evening air. "Somebody, please, help!" His eyes met mine again for a brief, heart-wrenching moment through the window, and I saw the raw, unfiltered grief mirrored in his gaze. He frowned when his gaze met mine, but then he tore it away and began to ask for help again.
His sobs filled the place, that’s when I saw my mother make her way to see what was happening. She didn’t step outside. She looked at her boyfriend, then glanced at me.
!!!
I froze in my place.
She didn’t say anything and came back into the house.
I started breathing again once she was out of sight and then I looked back at the road.
A man had approached Sarina’s dad. He knelt beside them calmly, "Sir, please, let me check her," He said softly, his voice steady. Her father hesitated, his grip tightening protectively around Sarina, “Let me check her, I’ve already asked the neighbor to get the car.” Something in the stranger's tone broke through the fog of her father’s grief. Slowly, reluctantly, he loosened his hold, allowing the man to gently lower Sarina to the ground.
The man moved with practiced precision, his hands firm but careful as he tilted her head back and placed his fingers on her neck, searching for a pulse. I held my breath, watching through the window, my heart pounding with a desperate hope that somehow, impossibly, there might still be a sign of life.
Seconds stretched into an eternity as he felt for a heartbeat, his expression growing more serious. He leaned down, his ear close to her mouth, listening for any hint of breath. There was nothing but silence.
He straightened up, his face somber, and pressed his fingers firmly against her wrist, trying one last time to find a pulse. Again, there was nothing. His shoulders sagged slightly, the weight of the moment settling over him as he met my father’s tear-filled eyes.
"I’m so sorry," He said, his voice gentle but firm. "There’s no pulse, no heartbeat. She’s gone."
The words hung in the air, heavy and final. Her father let out a heart-wrenching cry, his body folding in on itself as he cradled Sarina’s lifeless form. The man reached out, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I wish there was something more I could do," He murmured,
I watched, feeling as if the world had stopped.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene outside, even as my vision blurred with tears.
No…
She’s dead?
I fell back on the floor while Sarina’s dad stood up, hugging her body, he ran away with her.
I sank to the floor, the weight of despair crushing me. Each breath was a struggle, a desperate attempt to fill lungs that felt as if they were collapsing under the pressure of my sorrow.
I wanted to scream, to tear at my hair, to do anything to release the agony that coursed through me, but all I could manage was a choked sob, a pitiful sound that barely scratched the surface of my torment.
I felt like something died inside of me.
There was something burning inside of me that felt like it was dying at the same time.
I felt hollow and alone.
Something was breaking in my mind
It took a few days for my anxiety to settle down. But at the same time I felt like something inside of me was missing, or maybe it was too far away from my reach.
Of course, Sarina’s father didn’t come back
“You bastard!!” I jolted awake when I heard my mother’s voice, “So what? She’s dead now!!” I could tell she was walking towards my room, “I don’t care! You want a child that bad! I have one! Have him!!” She slammed her body on my door, making me jolt.
I heard her unlock the door to my room, “What the fk are you onto! You didn’t care about your wife when you were coming to me!” She banged my door open and came inside.
I sat up on the mattress in a panic.
“So?” She glared at me, “You’re not coming anymore?”
I looked at her quietly. I was scared but I dare not say anything.
“You’re done holding a funeral. Your kid is dead!” She yelled on the phone. Her words and her voice made my heart hurt.
She stumbled to the side. It was then I noticed the bottle of alcohol in her hand. She brought it to her mouth and chugged it.
“You’re leaving me? For that bitch-” The other person cut the cut, “Hey!!!” She couldn’t believe it, “Hey!!!” She screamed, “Bastard!!!!” I placed my hands on my ears but didn’t look away from her.
She threw her phone at me but luckily it didn’t hit me
“You!” She pointed at me as she wobbled to a side, “I saw that kid point at you,” She stepped towards me, my heartbeat rose, “WHY!!?” She gritted her teeth in anger, “WHY!!???”