CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT - ADRIEL
CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT - ADRIEL
She tears from the room, almost tripping over in her haste to get away from me and I can’t blame her.
I didn’t know she would feel it. I hate that she does.
I don’t even know why I did it, why I was with Lia, when this morning Maricela was all I could think about. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell am I doing?
And then Ryker slams his fist into my face before I can do anything else.
“You piece of shit.” He snarls, as I land on my arse, completely taken by surprise. “You fucked her? You fucked Lia, after everything?”
“I didn’t.” I splutter.
He snarls, clearly not believing me.
“I didn’t want to. I didn’t…” Gods how do I even explain what happened, how do I even try? Lia’s had me locked up in our room all day and I couldn’t get out, I couldn’t…
“But you did it anyway.” He sneers over me, like I’m trash. Like he hates me as much as my mate does.
“She forced me.” I shout, as something inside me snaps, as that awful memory comes flooding back enough that I fear I might just lose all control. “She forced me.”
“What?”
I shake my head, trying to stand, trying to put words into some sort of coherent sentence. “I don’t know what happened, Ryker.” I admit. “I said no, I pushed her away, and then it’s like she took over, like she…”
“She raped you?” Ryker says like he doesn’t understand it.
Was it rape? I said no, I said no over and over but my body still responded. I still fucked her, I still came in her. On some level, I had to be aroused to do that, surely? A wave of that void hits me and for a second it’s like it grips my throat, like I can’t breathe.
“I need her out of my room.” I state, forcing the words out but they’re more for my sake than for his. “I need Lia away from me.” I don’t understand what she’s been doing, how she can affect me like this but I need to do something now, I need to do something urgently to put a stop to it.
“So you’re choosing Maricela? You’re admitting she’s your mate?”
As I go to say yes, and that something latches hold of me, that same hollowness that takes over everything. “No,” I hear myself say and the look on his face is utter fury.
“What the fuck are you doing, Adriel?” He snarls.
I can’t explain it. I can’t justify it. I have no answers. Nothing. But there is one thing I’ve realised, one thing I should have done from the start.
“I need you to protect her.” I beg. “Protect Maricela.”
“From who?” He retorts.
“Lia,” I state. And then I realise that’s not just it. “Me,” I add. If I have no control over myself I could hurt her, I could do something awful and I can’t have that. I can’t let that happen. She has to be protected, no matter what it costs me, no matter what I sacrifice to ensure it. “Keep her safe, Ryker. Please, keep her safe from me.”
“She’s your mate.” He replies like that’s enough.
I step back, shaking my head. She isn’t my mate. Lia is my mate. But then why do I need to protect Maricela if that’s the case? Gods, I’m so confused. I’m so damn confused.