CHAPTER SIXTY NINE - MARICELA

CHAPTER SIXTY NINE - MARICELA
I stay away, hide away, making sure my door is locked and that no one can get in. I don’t trust the Pack Witch enough to ask for help, for all I know she’s involved in this, she’s the one casting these spells.

I know I should speak to Khloe, that shutting her out like this is unfair but I’m struggling. I’m struggling so badly.

I’m not sure if it’s her or Ryker behind it, but they make sure that I have food, that all my meals are delivered and while I’m hungry, I more pick at it than truly eat it.

I feel sick. Sick and disgusted.

Adriel hasn’t touched her since, but that doesn’t make up for what he’s done. It doesn’t remedy all the wrongs. Did he really think I wouldn’t have noticed? Or did he not care? I guess it doesn’t matter either way. He’s burned all his bridges as far as I’m concerned. It’s over. I never want to see him again. I never want to speak to him again.

And that alone breaks my heart more than anything else. 

After a week of self-imposed exile, Khloe clearly has enough and she forces her way in, demanding to check I’m okay. 

I can’t really look at her. I can’t meet her eyes. I’m ashamed, completely and utterly ashamed. 

“Have you spoken with Ryker at all?” She asks.

I shake my head. 

She glances around, no doubt seeing the absolute state that I’m living in but to my relief I don’t see judgement in her eyes.

“Wanna get some fresh air?” She asks.

I wince, wanting to say no but I’m up before I realise it and I’m nodding. I won’t spend my life mourning him. I won’t be that person. I can exist beyond Adriel. I can be happy. I can be content. Maybe even I’ll find someone else who’ll love me? No, I know that idea is nonsense, stupidity, who would love someone like me? Who would even glance at me? I’ll be alone, I’ll always be alone. I know that in my heart. I’ll spend the rest of my life alone, and when I die, I’ll be the last of my line, the last of my Pack. And nothing will matter then. 

We walk out while she talks away, trying to fill the awful silence.

Outside, I’m almost surprised to see how bright it is. That the flowers are out, that the world is still continuing despite my own entirely crashing beneath me.

I can feel the glances of people as we walk by. Maybe they noticed I’ve been hiding. Maybe they didn’t. I guess I don’t really care now. It doesn’t matter anyway. No body in this Pack really wants me here, I just don’t know why I’m fighting so hard to prove that I’m worthy of them? 

“If I wanted to leave…” I begin.

Khloe stops, turning to face me. “No,” She says. “You can’t.”

“I can’t do this.” I reply. “I can’t keep pretending.”

“Mari, listen to me.” She gasps, grabbing my shoulders. “This is working.”

“No, it’s not.” Gods, I can’t even scream, I don’t have the energy for it. I’m defeated. I’m broken. 

“You don’t understand,” She says, desperately. “If Lia gets away with this, if Adriel accepts her as his mate, then our entire Pack is doomed. Our entire species could fall.”

I know what she’s saying is technically true, that to circumvent the Moon Goddess’s will in such a way could have serious repercussions, and that Lia, in doing this must be a power-hungry bitch, but is it really my responsibility to fix everything? 

Adriel is more than content with his situation judging by the way he was happily fucking her. Why should I be the one suffering while they’re playing happy families? While he’s ignoring all his responsibilities? He’s the damn Alpha, it’s for him to worry about the future of his Pack, that’s his literal job. 

But the Moon Goddess chose me. She chose me as his mate - I curse those words as they ring in my head. In a way it feels like I’m justifying this, justifying why I’m even here, why I’ve become this person, this walkover. 

“He…” She glances around like she doesn’t want anyone to hear the words she’s about to speak. “He didn’t fuck her.”

“Yes, he did.” I snap. Gods, why is she suddenly on his side? Defending him? If anything that hurts me more. 

She shakes head, stepping closer, “Listen to me, please, he says she forced him. He says…”

I shut my eyes, clench my fists. Forced? What utter bullshit. I felt his arousal, I felt his want through our bond. I felt every second of it, only for me it wasn’t pleasure, it was agony. Hours of absolute agony.

I can’t hear anymore, I can’t bear to. I turn around, and head back alone. 

I guess that’s another thing Adriel has now achieved. He clearly hated me being friends with his sister, and now he’s convinced her that he’s the good guy in all of this. The victim.