The light in the bathroom was really dim but it was enough for her to see everything that she needed to see.
Eli was in the bathtub, his head downcast as the glow of the candlelight glowed on the visible upper part of his naked body.
She took a couple of steps closer and heaved a sigh of relief when she realized that he was alone.
Why would she think that of him?
She needed to work more on trusting him. By Ignas, why had that thought even cross her mind?
That he would cheat on her?
Never.
The sound of water trickling as he moved slightly in the water made it to her ears, and she felt the need to suddenly turn around and leave.
They've never had a bath together, he was either helping her clean after sex or something else, even that had been for quite a while, so even though they had been intimate a number of times, this felt like she was invading something private.
"I wanted to see if you were okay."
She wished.
She wished that had been it and not some other thoughts she shouldn't have even had in the first place.
There was silence, and he didn't move.
His static state was starting to be concerning, so she walked closer to him only to stop short when something caught her eye.
Eli wasn't wearing his gloves.
The lines on his hands seemed to have been threaded with alluring spells, the darkness they spread, they lured her, called to her, and she obeyed.
Followed whatever spell it had on her simply because she couldn't fight it.
"No!" Eli snapped, moving in the water and putting distance between them while he grabbed his gloves from the other side of the tiled floor.
He pulled them on quickly, covering away the lines and snapping the hold the lines had on her.
Belladonna let out a raspy breath, her heart thundering as the sweat of fear pooled over her skin.
She staggered back, realizing just at that moment that she had fallen to her knees to touch his hands.
What was that thing exactly?
A part of her mind was convinced that it could be the effect of him helping Kestra carry the weight of the summoned Alterer, or maybe it was an effect of the curse Kestra laid on him so that he would be attached to her forever.
Cursing him with a crazy sexual need.
Crazy witch.
She would kill her.
Whatever it was, she couldn't rule out the involvement of the Bride Thief completely.
Maybe they were both involved in all of this.
Ah, by Ignas she had to go back and continue her mission, get all this sorted out quickly, and save herself from this headache.
She just wanted to be with Eli, how hard could that be?
Belladonna tried to pull herself up, her gown now slightly wet from the splashes from the tub when Eli had moved too quickly earlier.
She stopped midway through her struggle though, realizing just at the moment that there were cuts on Eli's body, fresh cuts. Blood on the sponge floating on the water, and blood in the water.
She shot up to her knees moving closer to the tub, her eyes wide with horror when she realized he had done this to himself.
"Are you crazy?"
What was he thinking, clawing himself like this?
Eli was the most logical person she knew and this was very illogical.
Why would he do this to himself?
"Please, leave." Was his quiet response, but she refused, instead she went around the tub as quickly as she could.
The cuts were on his back, littered everywhere on his arms and part of his chest that she could see. His gaze was still fixed to the water and she couldn't see his face.
"Why are you---"
"Please, leave. I do not want you seeing me like this."
There was a desperation in his voice that she was tempted to just obey, but it weighed her down to see him like this, and for that moment she forgot all about dreaming of Alaris and continuing her mission.
All that was important right now was right in front of her.
"Eli---"
"Can you just go away, Donna?" He sounded broken now.
His request for her to leave felt empty and now more than ever, it was obvious that he needed her to stay.
So she reached for his face and cupped it in her hands, so he was looking right at her.
His brown eyes lacked the light they used to have, instead his eyes were red with tears.
She let out a silent gasp in shock.
She had never seen him like this before.
A smile crossed his lips, clashing with the tears in his eyes.
"You should leave. Go back to your scrolls. I want to be alone."
The words hit her with a jab and her brows knitted into a frown.
"I'll leave," she nodded, the conflict in her raging on. She didn't know what was going through his mind, had no guesses as to what it could be.
Eli was big on communication and it was hard to get to him when he wasn't trying, when he obviously didn't want to.
"I'll leave once I take care of your cuts."
"I can take care of myself," he pulled his face away from her, putting distance between them.
She could feel the walls building, and by Ignas, never had she felt something so sofficatinting build up around her neck.
It reminded her of the time he had said she was building blocks around her, far away from him while being in his arms.
She was starting to understand what that was.
"I won't leave until I take care of your cuts."
Moments of silence passed between them, then he finally shrugged and relaxed into the tub, giving her the go-ahead.
"I have to ensure that you don't have cuts on your legs too---"
She barely finished that statement when he was stepping out of the tub, butt naked.
She had seen him naked many times, but that didn't stop that heated feeling from crossing through her and heat rushing to her cheeks.
It had been a while since they had been intimate.
She didn't even realize that until now.
Being wrapped up in so many occupying things to even realize.
She missed him.
Wordlessly, she followed him into the room.
Eli always had a box filled with medications laying around and Belladonna had been quick to grab that.
Eli was sitting on the edge of the bed, a towel thrown over his thighs to hide his dick away.
He wanted to get this done and over with, his entire being screamed it.
What exactly was making him like this?
A hiss or two made it out of his lips as she cleaned his cuts and dressed them. He tried to keep his gaze away from her while she did that, he was acting like she was invisible, till her hands moved on his chest and started treating the cuts there.
A hiss slipped past his lips and he held her wrist in a firm grip, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, before she looked away immediately, muttering an apology and pulling her hands away from him.
He let her go, and she continued her treatment at a quicker pace, while his gaze was fixed on the blue scarf she had tied around her hair.
Soon enough, she was done.
She flipped the box shut and set it aside, the silence between them dragging long and overbearing before his voice finally cut a knife through it, and stopped it from running her insane.
"Will you ever stop being repulsed by me?"
Repulsed?
What was he talking about?