Repulsed?
Where was that even coming from?
"I don't understand." She said as she turned around.
He had that look he had in the bathroom again, broken and overwhelmed.
What was this?
"What can I do, so that you can stop being repulsed by me."
"I'm not---" she dropped to her knees, cleaning the bloodstains around his nose, the meaning they held dragging a dagger through her heart and making her hatred for Kestra grow stronger and stronger. A frown pulled over her face, the hatred bitter on her tongue. "I'm not repulsed by you. I love you, Eli."
The frown on her face wasn't really convincing to him, the fact that her focus was on his nose that had bled a while ago, made him feel even worse.
"I want you to want me again, want me as you used to before I told you all about," he closed his eyes, gritting his teeth as if his next words were too heavy to be spoken. "My curse with Kestra. I haven't been her ever since I met you, I swear on Ignas."
Belladonna was stunned.
So, that was it?
That was it.
The curse.
Was he trying to peel off his skin because he thought she was repulsed by him? He had misinterpreted her being busy for her avoiding him because of that.
"And it just hurts so much that you don't even want to be in the same space with me. You are always running away from me."
His words were slamming right into her.
She never thought about it like that, because that wasn't what she was trying to do. She had been insensitive. After a confession like that, he would want to know where she stood, what she thought. She didn't tell him anything and that had allowed doubt to grow in his mind.
She should have spoken to him after his confession. She should have allowed their conversation to happen earlier, she should have allowed them to talk the moment he had seemed ready.
She shouldn't have allowed this doubt and negative feeling to grow this kind of deep root.
Belladonna felt guilty.
"I thought the space will help, so I kept my distance but it gets painful and painful every time."
Tears had welled up in her own eyes.
He shouldn't feel this way.
She hated it.
"What can I do so we can be back to how we used to be?"
She shook her head, moving more up her knees so she could reach him, as her hands pulls his face closer to her, wiping his tears away.
"I'm so sorry, Eli. I'm sorry."
"Is there something I should do," he asked, his eyes searching hers.
"You don't repulse me. I love you."
His eyes widened slightly but the doubt was starting to creep back in.
Her lips pressed against his, as she pulled closer to him, the space between them a hair's breadth.
His lips moved along with hers, slow, till she was pulling away again.
"I love you and I want you."
He nodded, looking away, his gaze moving across the walls as he tried to figure out if those words were the truth, or just words said to console him.
He didn't doubt her love for him, but he doubted the other.
He felt her lips press against his skin and he closed his eyes briefly, his hands curling into fists on his thighs as he resisted the urge to circle his hands around her.
It would be painful if he went further and she pulled away again, rejecting him.
That would be one more thing he would have to battle against, one more thought that would wreak him, and he was just too vulnerable and tired at the moment to add that to the list.
Her kisses trailed up his chest, to his Adam's apple, and up his chin.
He suppressed a moan.
His state of mind refusing to allow him to enjoy this as doubt flooded his mind, but when her hand went around him and she pressed herself fully against him, he couldn't stop the low moan that slipped through his lips.
The electric feeling that crossed beneath his skin, the way she moved against his hardened length, the towel he had thrown over him, and her gown inbetween them.
"I love you, Eli." The words pressed into the pores of his skin, the croak of his neck as her lips grazed against it.
A groan rumbled through his chest, the sound vibrating against her own and she pulled away to look at him.
Belladonna wasn't the best at this.
She didn't even know what she was doing but she knew why, she wanted him to feel wanted, to know that she wanted him, needed him.
To put all this behind them.
She didn't want to be distracted by her own desires that were starting to crawl to the surface, it was hard to stay focused when she could feel pleasure pooling at her core.
Eli's gaze was intense on her, flickering between her scarf and her face. She could see the struggle in his eyes, the doubt, and uncertainty that was keeping him away from doing anything else.
Had her being busy really done this to them?
She didn't know what to do next.
Of course, she knew she wanted to have sex with him, she just wasn't really sure what next she would do that wouldn't snap this moment apart
Besides, he still had those cuts on his skin and she had to be careful.
Eli's healing abilities had been lacking for a while now, the stains on his nose when she had been cleaning his wounds showed that he had one of his attacks once again.
She had to be really careful with him.
Gentle.
Her hands went to that thing in-between them that was poking her stomach, his gaze fixed on hers and not taking off his gaze to look at what she was doing.
Mindlessly, her hand curled around his length.
It felt strange to hold him like this. Warm, hard, and throbbing. She couldn't just resist the urge of a little squeeze.
His body jerked slightly at that, a raspy breath followed, and that encouraged her to do it even more.
Her hand moved slowly up and down his length, stopping right before his cockhead and giving him a little squeeze.
She enjoyed how he reacted to her touch, her own eyes glazing over with pleasure that she was doing this to him.
His grunts were buried into the crock of her neck, his warm breath sending tingles across her skin, her head swimming in lust.
"Please."
His plead sent a tremour crossing through her and her eyes fluttered close.
"What do you want me to do to you, Eli?"
"Whatever you want." His voice was thick with lust and spaced with lack of breath.
Her hand let go of his dick, slipping out from beneath the towel, then she stood on her feet, moving from him.
His gaze wore confusion, his eyes fixed on hers, wondering what insane thing she had in mind.
The more she took steps away from him, the more he wondered if she was about to just leave him like this.
Was she finding him repulsive again?
"Lay down, Eli," her gaze moved to the towel which by now wasn't doing much to hide his erect member, "And take the towel off."
The order descended on him and by Ignas, never was an order so easy to follow.