It's strange being normal...

It's strange being normal...
Diana

After everything that had happened, it felt almost surreal to be able to breathe without fear. A month ago, I would wake up in the middle of the night startled by any noise, thinking someone was trying to get me. Now, I was wearing a simple dress, my hair loose, and going out to dinner with Ethan—as if we were a normal couple.

Normal. I had almost forgotten what that word meant.

As he drove, one hand on the wheel and the other holding mine, I looked out the window and saw people walking on the sidewalk, laughing, eating in bars, taking pictures... life went on. And for the first time in a long time, mine seemed to go on too.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, glancing quickly at me.

"Yeah," I smiled slightly. "It's just strange."

"Strange?"

"Strange being able to go out like this. Without security, without looking back all the time."

He gave a slight smile, but his gaze still had the weight of someone who had lived too much in the last few months. Ethan tried to hide it, but I knew how much it had all affected him. Seeing Meredith's name plastered across all the headlines, her body being pulled from the water… it wasn't just an end, it was a kind of liberation.

When we parked in front of the restaurant, I took a deep breath before getting out of the car. There was a pleasant breeze, the sky was partly cloudy, and the smell of food mixed with expensive perfume and cigarette smoke filled the air. Ethan put his hand on my back and we went inside.

The waiter recognized him immediately—hard not to, right? Even trying to be discreet, Ethan attracted attention anyway. His posture, his gaze, the way he spoke calmly, as if nothing could shake him.

We sat near the window. I ordered wine, he ordered whiskey.

"It's been a long time since we've done this," I said, fidgeting with my napkin.

"Too long," he replied, looking at me in that way that made my heart skip a beat. "But now it's over."

It's over. I wanted to believe that word with all my might.

While the waiter brought the drinks, I noticed how peaceful the atmosphere was. People talking, laughing, soft music in the background. And there I was, sitting with the man I love, alive, free, breathing without the weight of Meredith's shadow hanging over us.

But even so, deep down, there was still that lingering fear. Like a scar that still itches, even after it's healed.

"Do you still think about her?" I asked without thinking much.

He took a few seconds to answer, looking at his glass before speaking:

"Not like before. Now I think more about everything we went through because of her. How we almost lost everything."

I nodded slowly.

"Sometimes I think she'll still show up, you know?"

"She won't," he said firmly. "Now she can't do anything anymore."

I knew he was right. But it was hard to turn off the fear button when you'd spent months in survival mode. The food arrived and the conversation became lighter. Ethan started talking about the company's new project, about Lucas learning to say his first words, and about his mother who, according to him, had become a completely doting grandmother.

For a moment, I forgot everything.

We laughed, toasted, ate, and it seemed like the world had started spinning right again.

When we left the restaurant, it was already night. The street was calm, only a few people passing by, and the moon illuminating everything. Ethan intertwined his fingers with mine and we walked slowly to the car.

"I like this," I said, looking at him. "Being able to just… walk. Without anyone following, without looking in the mirror thinking there's someone behind me."

"And it will stay that way," he replied, pulling my hand to kiss it. "I promise."

He opened the door for me, and when I got into the car, I looked at him with that mixture of relief and love.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough,” I murmured.

“You don’t need to thank me. We survived together, remember?”

Those words kept hammering in my head all the way home.

When we arrived, Lucas was already asleep, and the house was unusually quiet. Ethan’s mother had left a note on the table saying she’d gone to bed early.

I took off my shoes, threw my bag on the sofa, and went straight to the balcony. The night breeze gently brushed my face, and the distant sounds of the city seemed like music. Ethan came right behind me, hugging me from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“That it’s been a long time since I felt this alive.”

He tightened the hug and remained quiet. We stayed there, just listening to the sound of the wind and the comfortable silence between us.

As strange as it seemed, Meredith’s death had given me something I thought I’d never have again: peace.

Not complete peace, because traumas don't disappear overnight. But that feeling of being able to breathe without fear… of looking to the future without your heart racing.

After a while, Ethan pulled me inside, and we stayed in the living room, with the leftover wine from dinner, talking quietly. We talked about plans, about traveling, about starting over.

He looked at me and said:

"We deserve to be happy, Diana. After everything we've been through, we deserve to live."

I rested my head on his chest and smiled.

"And we will live."

When I went upstairs to my room, I looked in the mirror and noticed something different. I no longer saw that frightened woman who jumped at every new news story. I saw someone strong, who had faced hell and come back whole.

I took a shower, put on a loose t-shirt, and went to bed. Ethan came in soon after, his hair messy and a tired but sincere smile.

"You know what?" I said, turning to look at him.

"What?"

"I think we should travel. Just the two of us. No company, no security, nothing. Just… disappear for a few days."

He gave a small, knowing smile. "Where?"

"Anywhere. As long as there are no explosions, chases, or police."

He laughed, and I laughed along. We laughed until tears came, and it was one of the first times in a long time that laughter came so easily.

I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, feeling his heart beat at a calm rhythm.

For the first time in months, I didn't dream of running away, of fear, of pain.

I dreamed of the sea. Of the sun on my face and Ethan calling me to dive in.

I dreamed of life becoming light again.

And when I woke up the next day, with him sleeping beside me, I knew it was real.

The nightmare was over.

Now, finally, it was just us.

And the rest… was just starting over.