chapter 127

chapter 127
Isabella's POV.

One week later, the house still felt like it was holding his breath . Sabrina hadn't just come back physically, but her presence lingered like a shadow over every wall. Every silence,  every hesitant glance between me and Declan.

He tried so hard to please me but he also wasn't going to get any of my softness easily. He always gave me flowers in the morning, soft kisses on my forehead, words whispered in the dark that I wanted to believe so badly.

But every time I looked at him. I saw her smirk. Every time I heard him laugh. I heard Ethan's voice calling him daddy. And my heart broke all over again.

Lately, my body hasn't been helping me either. I was always tired and I always felt discomfort in my stomach area without any solid reason.

I blamed stress because it was stress obviously. How could it not be? With everything that has crumbled in my life? But when the dizziness grew worse, when I found myself gripping the bathroom sink in the mornings a terrifying thought crossed my mind.

No. It couldn't be.

But no matter how I tried, the thought refused to leave my head and I was forced to buy a pregnancy test strip which I was holding in my trembling hands as I stared at the line that would change everything.

The second dragged for hours. My palms felt weak and I was breathing slowly. And when I saw it, it was positive.

I was pregnant and at that moment my knees felt too weak to help me stand on my own. I collapsed on the bathroom floor as I held the tiny plastic stick in my hand like it was both an unexpected miracle and a curse.

Was this joy or despair? I couldn't tell what it was and I thought of Declan's face when Ethan had run into the room, the shock and the silence I experienced made me think of Sabrina's voice.

“He is our son. The fruit of our love story.” she said and here I was, also carrying Declan's child. A child of my own.

My tears fell harder. Would this baby make him love me more? Or would it only tie me forever to a man whose past had already shattered me?

I pressed my hand against my stomach, the smallest and the most fragile life blooming inside me.

“What am I supposed to do with you?” I whispered. “I'm I meant to be happy or to be terrified?” 

I couldn't decide as my head spun around and I grabbed the edge of my bathroom sink to steady myself. The room tilted, and before I could catch myself, my body swayed dangerously to the side.

Then I heard the bathroom door being pushed open, only for me to look down to see Ethan standing in front of the bathroom with his hand holding the knob of the door tightly.

“Aunty, are you okay? You look like you are going to fall” he asked and I froze on the spot. His toy was in his hands.

I forced a weak smile at him as I pushed my body upwards.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. I'm just a little tired.” I said and he frowned at me, before stepping inside the bathroom.

“Do you want me to call my daddy? He is surely going to help you out.”

The word daddy stabbed me right through the chest but I lowered my body down to his level to meet his worried eyes.

“No, Ethan. Don't call him, I'll take care of myself, okay? You just go back and play.” I said as his face lit up in relief, innocence, and pureness.

“Okay!” he replied back, turning his back against me as he ran out of my room and into the hall. “Vroomm” I heard his small voice echo as he drove his toy car along the walls.

I sat down on the bed and my smile faded as soon as he was gone. That little boy had no idea what his presence was doing to me. He was innocent and none of these was his fault but anytime I looked at him. I saw Sabrina's victory and my own fragile heart cracking a little more. 

Now I was carrying another child in my womb. It was my child and Declan's child and also Ethan's sibling.

I pressed both hands to my stomach and my breath was shaking. Declan had told me I was his only future and his forever. But what if those words had been nothing more than desperation?

What if the truth was that his had forever walked into our house with a little boy who shared his eyes?

I couldn't bring this to him yet. I couldn't bear the thought of placing my fragile joy in front of him and watching his face twist with uncertainty, or worse regret.

So I made the decision in the quietness of my room as my tears dried up on my cheeks.

I would keep this pregnancy a secret. At least for now, until I know for sure that his heart completely belonged to me. Or if Sabrina's shadow had stolen it away. 

I laid back on my bed as my hand rested over the tiny life forming inside of me