Chapter 108 Xander’s POV

Chapter 108 Xander’s POV
Chapter Hundred and eight

Xander’s POV

Her voice cracked. “You… you just called him… GDC.”

Fuck! She heard that.

“I… Bella…” I started, but the words caught in my throat.

She took one shaky step back from me.

“Xander… why?” she whispered. “Why would you call him that? Hope it’s not the GDC I know? Hope It's not the same guy that threatened and blackmailed me for months right?”

I kept mute. Not because I didn’t have an answer, but I knew the answer would break her.

She looked at my face and saw the truth before I even opened my mouth.

Tears clung to her eyelashes. “Xander… tell me it’s not him. Please.”

“…Bella.”

That was all I could say.

“Oh my God.” Her hand covered her mouth. “It’s… it’s him.”

“Bella I…”

“You knew?” she repeated louder. “You knew Daniel was GDC and you didn’t tell me?”

She shook her head violently, tears building in her eyes.

“Xander… how could you hide that from me? How could you just… just let me stay around him? Talk to him? Trust him?”

“I’m sorry, I didn't know how to tell you.” I said quietly, stepping toward her. “I tried to keep him away.”

She laughed bitterly. “So you lied to me?”

“I didn’t lie. I told you I knew who GDC was but I didn't want to reveal his identity.”

“You didn’t tell the truth either.”

She paced back and forth with her hands trembling at her sides.

“Months, Xander. He tormented me for months. I couldn’t sleep. I thought I was going crazy. And you knew exactly who he was and you didn’t think I deserved to know?”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” I said. “I knew how much Daniel helped you and how much he meant to you.”

Her eyes darkened immediately. “So instead you let me stand next to him? Sit with him? Smile with him? Talk to him like he was my friend?”

The guilt pierced my ribs like a knife.

“I didn’t want you to fear someone that has helped you in the past,” I said. “I wanted to deal with him quietly.”

Bella shook her head, hurt deepening.
“You don’t get to choose what I remember. You don’t get to decide what I can handle.”

“I was trying to protect you,” I insisted. “I’ve been tracking him since before he got close to you. I was waiting for proof. Waiting for him to slip. And tonight, he did.”

She stared at me.

“You should’ve told me, Xander.”

“And you’re right,” I said. “I should have. But I was scared.”

That caught her off guard.
She blinked at me.

“Scared?”

“Yes,” I said. “Because the moment I told you who he was, I knew you would break. And the truth is… Bella, I didn’t know how to watch you break.”

Her lips parted, and for a moment she didn’t say anything. Her tears fell silently.

She sniffled and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Tell me about Dan… tell me about GDC.”

I dragged a hand through my hair in frustration and stared at the floor for a second.

This was the moment I was trying to avoid for months.

“Bella…” I said, lifting my eyes back to hers. “It’s not something I wanted you to hear.”

“Too late,” she said quietly. “So tell me.”

I exhaled slowly. “GDC… it’s a name I gave him,” I said. “A long time ago, when we were children.”

She swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Because he was obsessive and God damn clingy. That's what GDC means. He once stalked a girl at school and he was suspended.”

Tears slipped down her face.

“I trusted you, Xander,” she said softly.
“You were supposed to be honest with me. You were supposed to tell me things like this. Not hide them till they got to this.”

I stepped closer gently.

“Bella… I’m sorry. I really am, I just hope I can fix this.”

“How?” she asked. “How do you fix the fact that the man who threatened me was right in front of me for months… and the only person who knew didn’t tell me?”

I reached out and cupped her face softly.

“I’ll fix it by making sure he never comes within a mile of you again. I'll get him arrested.”

She closed her eyes as more tears fell. “Xander…” she breathed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I failed you.”

She pressed her lips together, fighting a sob

“I… I don’t know how to feel right now.”

“Bella,” I murmured. “I kept it from you because I… I love you. I didn't want to see you heartbroken because of him.”

Her eyes widened. “Don't do that, Xander. Don't say what you're not sure of.”

“I’ve never been more sure of this. I’ve always loved you, Bella. I never stopped, even after you left,” I whispered. “I’m sorry I kept things from you. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you sooner. But I swear… I’ve never wanted to hurt you. Not for one second.”

Her lips quivered slightly.

“Xander…” she whispered.

I moved closer and held her hand. “Please,” I said. “Say something.”

After a while, her fingers slipped out of mine.

“Xander…” She said with her voice cracking. “This… this is too much for me to handle.”

She stepped back, shaking, wiping her cheeks even as more tears gathered.

“I can’t do this,” her voice shook. “I can’t process all of this right now. Daniel… GDC…you loving me… it’s just… “ She pressed a hand to her chest. “It’s too much.”

“Bella.. ”

“I just need space,” she whispered. “Please.”

I tried to step toward her, but she held her hand up.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Just… don’t. Just let me process this on my own.”

She started to walk slowly back to her room.

“Bella,” I called out.

She turned back to me. “Yeah?”

“Everything I've done, every decision I've made is from a place of love. Always remember that.”

And with that she closed the door slowly behind her, leaving me alone in the cold living room.