(Devan's POV).
I was quite happy when she wanted to come to my house, even though the purpose was only to pick up Adam. But at least I have more time with her. I want to stay by her side and make sure no one else hurts her. I wanted to make her all mine so I could take care of her and make sure she was always happy.
"Dev, where's Adamー" I cut her off with a kiss as we walked into my room. I pushed her body against the door. Pressing her waist with my one free hand while I crushed her lips.
Oh, shit.
I loved it, when I heard her groan when I kissed her.
"Dev..."
I pressed my hand even more, pushing one leg between hers until she moaned. I could feel her hands pushing against my chest as I kissed her lips.
I always wanted to touch her, every inch of her body. I wanted to strip her naked and let her lie on her back under me without wearing a single piece of clothing. Exposing her entire beautiful body that squirmed every time I touched her.
I'd never felt such a great sense of desire after I lost Freya. And somehow, Vivian seems to have a magic that makes me want to stay by her side. I can't control myself whenever I'm with her because I want to keep touching her.
Our breath catches as I break the kiss. Our foreheads touched each other. Our chests rose and fell as we took a breath. My hands curled around her waist, pressing her tighter against my body.
"I think I'm going crazy," I whispered, "I want you so much that I don't know what to do."
I lowered my head, about to kiss her again, but she immediately turned my face away. Her hands clenched into fists and pushed hard on my chest.
"Dev, stop this," she pleaded, "please don't cross your boundaries."
"Are you sure you don't have feelings for me? Just a little bit?"
"No." She looked away.
I pulled her chin forcefully so I could look into her eyes. Her blue eyes were trembling.
Every time I see Vivian with that look in her eyes, it reminds me of Freya whenever she's sad. And it makes my chest feel tight. If I have the chance, if indeed this is my chance to make up for all my mistakes to Freya in the past, through Vivian, I swear I will make good use of this opportunity.
I'll protect her, and make sure Vivian is happy every second of the way.
"Vivian," I whisper. I nuzzled my nose against hers. And she closed her eyes, and so did I. When I opened my eyes, I was mesmerized again by the beauty of her eyes that were so bright, as bright as the blue sky. As beautiful as the blue ocean.
I must have drowned in her charm.
"What have you done to me?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"
I smirked. Technically, I was the one who was doing something to her. "You've stolen my heart. Shouldn't you take responsibility?"
"You'll die if I steal your heart, Dev." I chuckled as he pushed my body and hurriedly walked away. I leaned against the door, watching her sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me. "Can I ask you a question?"
"No."
"You said you wouldn't betray your husband. Is he that good that you don't want to be in a relationship with another man? Anymore?"
"Dev, I don't have to answer your question. It's something personal..."
"You know that I won't stop chasing you even if you give me a thousand vague excuses. I need to know why you rejected me." I approached her. "While I'm very sure, you also have the same feelings as me." I kneeled in front of her. Grabbed one of her hands and held it tightly. "Give me an answer, Vivian..." I kissed the back of her hand.
She was silent for a while until I saw her eyes dimmed. That anxiety again, that sadness again. What was really going on in her life was that she always had that devastated expression on her face whenever I asked her about her husband.
It always bothered me.
"He's a good man. Too good that I can't betray him, so I can't. Sorry, Dev." She turned her face away. Avoiding my gaze. I could hear her voice trembling as she spoke.
"Does that make sense? If he's such a nice guy. Why are you always sad whenever I ask about your husband?"
"Because we went through a pretty rough life. I was in a coma and my family told me that he took care of me every day. Any other man would have left me in that state, Dev. But he... he was always by my side."
"There's really no chance for me?" I asked, "Vivian, I swear I'll take good care of you."
"I'm sorry, Dev. But I can't. I thank you for being so good to you, but I can't."
"He's dead, Vivian," I smiled wryly, "I may sound mean, but he'll never come back to your side again. Let me take your husband's place. Let me look after you and Adam. I want to look after you both and make you happy. If you think I won't be nice to Adam, you're wrong. Believe me, I already think of him as my son."
I swallowed my saliva with difficulty. Seeing Vivian's sad expression with her lips pursed without saying anything made me feel frustrated. I felt that there was a big wall between us that was difficult for me to break down. A big wall that Vivian deliberately made so that I couldn't get close to her.
"Then what about Freya?" I was surprised that she asked me about Freya.
My forehead wrinkles as I stare at her without being able to say anything.
"You love her? You said that you've been looking for her all this time. What if she suddenly came back to you? Would you let me go to go back to her?"
I squeezed her hand with an uneasy feeling. A sense of indecision washed over me. I admitted that I still loved her, loved her so much that I couldn't forget her. My regret for her was so big that I couldn't just erase her from my heart. Perhaps, that's why I insisted on getting close to Vivian because of her similar face to Freya.
That way, I can alleviate my regret a little by making Vivian happy.
"You're quiet, that means she's more importantー"
"No, it doesn't. You're much more important than her, Vivian," I cut her off and looked at her intently, "there's no way I can be with her anymore because Freya has died."