39: Devout

**Raegan**

I wasn't sure how to pray to a deity I wasn't fully sure I believed in.

Did I kneel at the altar and put my hands together? That's how they do it in the movies. Is there even an altar at the temple we were going to? There had to be. It was a temple. Place of worship. Altars were kind of obligatory in a place of worship.

I wrung my hands nervously as Coal drove the SUV towards the temple he spoke of.

I felt like I was going to see the principal for doing something bad.

Coal placed his hand on my thigh, "it'll be fine, love. The temple is only going to have three priestesses in it the whole time we're there. Not even your--"

"Our," I corrected.

He smirked, "*our* guards will be inside while we are."

"Yeah?" I looked over at him.

He nodded and started to trace circles with his thumb on the inside of my thigh.

I sighed heavily and placed my hand on top of his.

"Why do you want to do this?" He asked, his lips set into a frown and his brows drawn.

I shrugged, "it can't hurt to try and appease a Goddess who may or may not be there for the transgressions I'd committed."

He growled softly but said nothing more.

We'd been over it all of last night and this morning. He didn't want me to blame my lack of faith in the Goddess for what happened. What *was* happening. He said it wasn't my fault. I said it was. He grumbled his discontent, and finally, we decided to agree to disagree.

The stone building came into view, and I felt my heart pick up pace once more.

Coal gripped my thigh gently and squeezed, "deep breaths, my dove."

I nodded and took in multiple deep breaths.

He parked the SUV outside of the entrance, and our guards fanned out around the area. They were going to make sure it was clear before we left the vehicle, then secure the temple before walking us inside and then baring the doors and windows.

Coal was taking our-- no, *my*, safety very seriously. He didn't want to chance anything. He unbuckled his seat belt and faced me entirely before unbuckling my own belt and taking my face into his hands.

I looked into his lovely green eyes.

"We're going to go into that temple, and I will walk you to the altar. Together we'll light a candle for the Goddess, and we'll pray. Ask her for whatever it is you wish to get from this. Her forgiveness, pups, eternal youth," he cracked a smile and I rolled my eyes at him, "anything you feel is important. Then we'll wait until the candle flames go out, and then we'll bid her farewell and thanks before heading back home."

"We have to wait for the whole candle to go out?!" I gasped.

He chuckled, "they're tea candles, babe."

I sighed in relief.

He smirked, "alright, the babysitters are waiting for us. Are you ready?"

I nodded, and reached for my door handle. He growled lowly at me. I cocked an eyebrow at him. He huffed and got out of his side with a bit of an attitude. I folded my arms over my chest as I watched him don his sunglasses before rounding the SUV to my side and opening my door.

He gestured for me to hop out.

I shook my head at him as I climbed out. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

He giggled and took my hand into his as he kicked the car door shut behind me. "Well then it's a good thing that you're a jack of trades, yea?" He smirked, and even though I couldn't see his eyes I could practically feel him winking at me.

I huffed, "no right to be so suggestive so early in the day."

He chuckled, and together we went into the temple.

It was as large on the inside as it was on the outside, and had large panes of glass in the roof giving it plenty of natural lighting. I assume that was so that rituals and holidays to and for the moon could be performed well. I felt my breath hitch a little as I looked around the space. The floor was white granite tiles, and they reflected the light from the roof to a blinding magnitude. It would have hurt my eyes if it weren't contrasted by black drapes on the walls and matching black velvet pews.

Coal shifted beside me, his muscles going taut.

I swallowed thickly and squeezed his hand. I looked ahead of us while taking my first step forward. The altar was black too, just like the dais that it was placed on, and the podium that sat on the center of said dais. I furrowed my brows as we got closer. Candles were littered along the base of the altar, and I felt my heart quicken at the sight of them. I wasn't expecting it to be so reflective of an actual church.

Coal didn't speak as he guided me to kneel at the altar, and then he released my hand to cradle an unlit candle into my hand. He pressed it into my palm and left one hand wrapped around it as he struck a match and lit the candle with his free hand.

He closed his eyes and murmured softly, "Goddess, hear us in our pleas. Forgive us for the sins we have committed and grant us generosity in our prayers." He lowered his head a little, "we pray to you to ask for the blessing of bringing new life into this world." He opened his eyes and looked up at me through his lashes, "your turn."

I inhaled deeply and closed my own eyes, placing my free hand over Coal's hand on mine. "Goddess I ask for forgiveness for neglecting you and to ask for a miracle of some kind or another. Motherhood isn't something I really ever thought about until the prospect of not getting to be a mother struck me. Perhaps it's selfish of me, and if you do have a hand in this and are punishing me for being a brat and cursing you and being a little bitchy to you I am begging you to let me have this." I breathed out heavily, baring it all to the candle in my hands and the potential Goddess who I spited. "I know I've not been a great person either. I put my mate through hell, and I killed people, and yeah, okay, I had sex with my fair share of people out of wedlock, but for the love of life, I have never wanted anything more than I want this. Well, aside from Coal, but that was different. I want to experience parenthood, and I want to experience it with him in whatever way we can. I'd like to be able to carry our pups, but if you don't think... if you believe that I did too much bad to grant me this then please show us the way to another way to start our own family. If not for me, then for Coal. Coal has been devout, and he has been so incredibly faithful and he deserves everything that this life can give him. Please." I whispered the last word, and then a little awkwardly with one of my eyes cracking open, I said, "ah-men."