38: End of an Era

**Coal**

Shawn showed up to personally escort Serena to Stone Moon. In fact, she was in Colorado the morning after Serena showed up. Raegan called it her "bestie-spidey-senses".

I wasn't so convinced.

"You know how hard it's been not seeing you, you bitch?" Shawn snarled at Raegan as we welcomed her into the palace.

Raegan smirked and launched herself at her old Alpha. She squeezed her in what could have only been a bone-crushing hug and the two murmured obscenities to one another.

I rocked back on my heels, stuffing my hands in my pockets to keep from pulling my mate back into my arms.

Shawn kissed Raegan's face all over and shook her gently. Shawn's Luna simply laughed from where he stood behind the pair.

Raegan let go of Shawn the second she heard him laughing and threw herself at the Stone Moon Luna in a similar fashion she had her Alpha.

"Dee!" She squealed happily as he hugged her back.

A low growl left me unintentionally.

"Down boy," Donnovan rolled his eyes at me with a smirk, "just a platonic hug."

Raegan giggled and hugged him a little tighter, "I missed you both so much," she said as she reached out and yanked Shawn into a group hug.

I barked out a laugh at the look on Shawn's face.

She looked pained.

"Okay, I gave you enough physical affection for a lifetime," Shawn said as she tried to pry Raegan's arms off of her. "No group hugs. No bueno. Hard pass."

Raegan chuckled, but let go of them both and took her space next to me again.

Her eyes shone brightly as she took in her friends. I beamed down at her, content in this moment of peace she could have.

"How is Morgan doing in his Second duties?"

Donnovan chortled, "you said dut--"

Shawn elbowed him in the ribs before he could finish his sentence.

"Donnovan," she chided with a small smile.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"He's doing well," Shawn smiled at Raegan, "not as good as you were, but y'know. As good as Morgan can be."

Raegan nodded, "good. He'll fill the mantel well." She smiled softly at Shawn and then looked up at me with a sad look in her eyes.

Shawn's eyes watered a little the instant my mate's words registered with her. "Goddess, Rae. I thought this was just a casual exchange of hostages."

"I think it's time, Shawn." Raegan pouted.

"I know, but jeez, I just got you back, Second. I don't... I don't know what I'll do without you officially in my pack."

I pulled Raegan into my side and rubbed her hip with my thumb where my hand lay. Her sadness thrummed down the bond, and though I didn't want her to be sad, I really fucking wanted her to officially be part of my pack. Leaving Stone Moon officially wasn't something we'd discussed, but it was clear that was her intent now. And I would be damned if I tried to talk her out of it. It was mildly selfish, but now that she'd aired the idea I wanted it, and I wanted it bad.

"You'll do what you've always done," Raegan rolled her eyes, "you'll make Stone Moon stronger and better."

Shawn frowned deeply.

"So let's get it over with, yeah?" Raegan moved forward and knelt in front of Shawn after getting out of my hold.

She bowed her head deeply, and with a sad smile spoke the bond-breaking words. "I, Raegan Martin, Second of the Stone Moon pack, hereby relinquish my status as Second and sever my ties to Stone Moon."

Shawn took in a sharp breath, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. "I accept your relinquishment and grant you severance from Stone Moon, Second Martin. You have been a great asset to Stone Moon, and an even better friend to your Alpha."

Raegan looked up at Shawn. The feeling of that bond being recalled rolled through the mate-bond, and her sorrow followed soon after.

Shawn helped Raegan to her feet and they wiped each other's tears.

"You did good, kid," Shawn said proudly as she held Raegan's face in her hands.

"I am proud to have been your Second," Raegan choked out.

Arsen whined softly, recalling our own severance to Cassian. It was bittersweet watching this bit of my mate's life come to a close.

Shawn pulled back and looked up at the ceiling while shaking her body in a strange manner, almost as if shaking off her emotions. Then she grinned, "at least now your mom can pack the rest of your shit and turn your old room into that nurser--"

"Shawn!" Donnovan gasped, and his hands flew to his head clutching both sides desperately as he gaped at his mate.

Shawn's eyes went wide, and she clapped her hands over her mouth. My heart damn near leaped out of my chest as I looked back to my mate.

She had frozen where she stood, her face crestfallen and pale. "What?"

I swallowed thickly, and rushed to Raegan's side once more. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back flush against my chest while nuzzling the side of her neck. It was an attempt at using our bond to keep her calm and help soothe her. An attempt I wasn't sure was going to work.

Shawn cursed, "I'm sorry, Rae. I shouldn't-- I-- She--"

"She's..." Raegan's rigid body started to shake slightly in my arms, "She's pregnant?"

Shawn frowned deeply and nodded.

"Rae," I whispered to her, "deep breaths."

She obeyed and started to take deep breaths.

When her trembling stopped, she looked back at Shawn, "how far along?"

Shawn swallowed, "Four months."

Raegan's hand slowly moved up to cover her mouth.

"*Four months?*" She cracked out.

Arsen whined softly, and I turned Raegan around in my arms. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest.

I nodded my head towards the door to signal for Shawn and Donnovan to leave. To which they did, both mouthing apologies as they did so.

I rubbed Raegan's back as she cried quietly in my arms.

"Shh, it's okay my Dove. Let it all out," I cooed softly.

The sound of her crying still shattered me and I wanted nothing more than for it to stop.

"It's not fair," Raegan wailed, her voice coming out nasally as I'm sure snot was covering her face.

I nodded and continued to rub her back.

"She already has three of us! I won't even get *one*! It's not fucking *fair*!" She pounded her fists against my chest as she shouted out to the world.

Her frustration bled into the bond, completely overshadowing everything else. We'd just started this journey, and we were already hurting so much from it. No, it wasn't fucking fair. Not that her mother was pregnant, no that wasn't where the issue lay. The issue was that after *everything*, Raegan was still pulling the fucking short straw. How was that fair? Had she not paid her "dues"? Had she not gone through enough? Hell, she'd gone through hell and back, and here she was still struggling. I hated that this was what had been dealt to her.

Raegan pulled away suddenly, her hand covering her mouth once more as she looked up at me wide-eyed.

"Oh my God," she whispered, "do you think it's because of all those times I cursed the Goddess? Do you think she's punishing me for that? For not believing?"

"Raegan!" I whisper-shouted, and grabbed her by the shoulders a little rougher than necessary, "no! Not a fucking chance, Rae! You are not at fault for this, do you understand? Not in any sort of roundabout way that you want to come up with. You couldn't have known that the wolfsbane would affect you, it never had before so you had no reason to believe it suddenly would. Not to mention the fact that his mom was trying to poison you for weeks before that, and Lord knows how much of that shit she managed to sneak into your meals before you started noticing. For all we know, the time you went in isn't what caused the initial damage. So get that out of your head right the fuck now. The Goddess isn't punishing you for not believing--"

"But what if she is?" Raegan's eyes welled up with new tears. "I need to see if I can fix it," she said in a rather panicked tone. "What... what do I do to fix it? When you wanted to get right with the Goddess what would you do to do it?"

I sighed heavily, hating the desperation that was dripping from her. "Raegan, praying isn--"

"I don't know what else to do," she whimpered, "Coal, I'm scared. I'm scared that we won't figure this out for ourselves, and... if praying to the Goddess helps us figure it out, then I'll bear it. I just want this for us. I don't even care if it's now." She grabbed my face in her hands, "after what those tests came back with, anytime we can manage it will be appreciated."

With another sigh, I nodded, "I'll take you to the temple tomorrow."

She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against mine, "thank you," she breathed out.