I Will Take Them
Deimos's words to Cronus last night surprised me but they also hurt me. A mate would feel utmost happiness when she hears those words from her mate's lips and I should too as the Deimos who possesses walls around his heart claimed me as his to Cronus. But every time he nurtures my hope, he crushes it and kills it and I was scared to feel happy. I didn't talk to him after the ball I ran to the comfort of my room before he could catch me, before he could hold me in those arms that provide false warmth.
I haven't seen him from daylight today, I don't want to see him. I don't want to hear his fake excuses that possess neither meaning no truth to them. He chose her right in front of me, even when he could see the desperation brimming within my eyes. And so, I wish to choose something or even someone else, I wish to stop fighting for him. I wish to fly to a place that holds peace anywhere but here, anywhere but... with him.
"Luna!" Cronus walks timidly with cautious steps towards me, cutting me off my painful thoughts.
"Cronus." I nod my greeting but no smile comes to my lips. I am still confused of his revelation to me about his heart.
"May I sit next to you?" He looks at the empty place to my right not taking another step until I nod my acceptance. The once soothing silence that was warm has turned to a cold awkward silence between us.
"I apologize." Cronus whispers to me, his voice holds pain.
"For what?" I ask him quietly.
"For... last night. I should have kept my feelings to myself but I... I couldn't hold them anymore, it was overflowing." He looks up to the sky closing his eyes.
"There is nothing bad you have done, Cronus." I gently tell him as he snaps his face to mine. "You are a good male Cronus and the one you will truly love will come."
"But I-" He tries to justify something as I cut him off. I don't want his female to feel the heart wrenching pain I do.
"Don't hurt her. She's probably waiting for you so stay as you are and give her your heart. It's not meant for me and you must know that as well." I advise him the best as I can.
"And what about your heart? Does it belong to Deimos? I saw him! I saw him running after my sister right in front of your eyes. I-I had never wanted to kill him before." He tells me his anger rising.
"My heart belongs to me right now; it's being protected by my strength. As for Deimos, I have no words of him." I look down placing my palms above my heart.
"Luna, these feelings. what can I do? What should I do?" His lips quiver as he licks his lips.
"Let them go, they are not real Cronus. And I need you, you are so very important to me. You are my first real friend." I whisper not wanting to cry.
With a deep breath and a soft sad smile, he murmurs, "Of course, Luna."
As we walk back to the pack house the silence between us consumes me. I hate it, being like this with Cronus. When we walk through the door, I catch sight of Deimos conversing with Ragon, seems like something important. Paying him no heed I walk around them to the kitchen feeling the heat of Deimos's gaze on my skin. Grabbing a drink, I quench my thirst. I see Theia holding Cronus's arm whispering something to him as she looks at me and Deimos. Then she begins crying and bawling in his arms hugging him as Cronus takes her away.
Frowning I look away to the window, it has nothing to do with me. I don't turn around when Deimos's scent hits me. He is waiting for my reaction; he wishes for me to talk first. As if I would abide by his wishes, gulping the rest of my drink slamming the cup on the counter I walk around him and begin to rush to get to my room. I need to protect myself.
"Stop, mate." He tells me calmly as I feel him beginning to follow me. My steps grow bigger and faster.
"Wait!" He shouts as I feel his breath on my neck. No! I don't wish to talk to him. I begin running, my heart pounding. Pushing past wolves stumbling, my wolf aiding me.
He growls and begins to chase me. "Stop now, mate." His voice growing by the second, tone getting angrier. He isn't pleased with this. Running up the stairs taking two at a time, I sprint to my room. But Deimos somehow lands in front of me startling me, as I stumble and finally stop my heart pounding chest heaving.
"Trying to outrun an Alpha, doesn't seem like a good idea now does it mate?" He says calmly taking sly and slow steps towards me.
"It does. Because, I am an Alpha too." I slide between his open thighs and start my run once more but before I could get any further, I feel him gripping my hands, my back bangs on the wall locking me in his hold with my hands above my head. Our chests heaving with anger as we stare into each other's eyes.
"I have had enough of this, mate. I am in no mood for games." He tells me gripping my hand harsher.
"Let me go, Deimos." I tell him as I look to the wolves standing at the end of the hallway staring at us with surprised faces. "Now!" I tell him gritting my teeth looking at the wolves once more.
"Leave!" His voice booms across the halls while he clenches his jaw making the wolves and me flinch. The wolves rush down the stairs bowing flustered obeying his command to them.
Trying to get out of his grip I kick trying to get to his core while he blocks my attack with his other hand. He stares at waiting for me to calm down.
"Are you calm, now? You act as if you are a pup but you claim yourself an Alpha." He tells me fueling my anger.
"And what of you? You are no Alpha either." I spit the words out in anger.
"And why is that?" He questions me with his ever so husky voice.
"You are no Alpha if you do not know how to treat the moon's gift." I tell him looking straight into his eyes. "You were no Alpha last night and you will never be." I scream further trying to hurt him the way he did, if only I could get through his walls.
Banging his fist to my right upon the wall clenching his jaws, eyes turning black, fangs elongating he snarls not happy with my accusations. "You do not know what you're talking about, mate. Shouldn't you be happy that I claimed you to Cronus so why are you filled with anger?" A deep growl vibrates through his chest as he shows me of his rage.
"You... you ran after her. You chased another female in front of my eyes! You are a hypocrite, you are not - " As my voice begins to rise with my accusations, he slams his lips to mine shutting me up. My eyes widen as I move away from his lips starting to struggle from his grip once more. But he calmly moves my face back to his lips kissing me once more. Thrusting his tongue harshly into the warm depth of my mouth he devourers me with his anger. My fangs elongating, I sink them deep into the flesh of his lips deep, making him bleed.
He retreats with a surprised look, as he swipes his thumb over his lips. I smile internally watching him bleed. It satisfies me. "Don't try to shut me up by kissing me, if you think I will fall for these antics trust me you are wrong. I am not like other females; I will not bow to you." I shout.
Feelings – Part II
The silence slowly kills my anger and gives birth to sadness that creeps up stabbing my heart, the sadness I was trying to ignore.
"You could have stayed, enjoyed our moment we shared. Wait... was it even a moment for you? Did... did you even feel anything? Do you ever feel anything when you are with me?" I shut my eyes tightly preparing for his knives that he would strike through my heart.
"I told her to leave." Deimos says calmly releasing me of his tight hold. I look up at him eyes widening. With a deep sigh he looks through the window. "The reason I chased after her, was because at that moment I felt the need to tell her that she needs to leave. I began noticing the pain she was causing you. I still don't understand why though." He tells me watching the pups playing out on the field.
"B-but don't you like her. I don't understand." I question him. Why would Deimos do that, this isn't like him at all. Frowning with his hands joined behind his back he turns to me.
"What? Like her? Didn't I tell you; I don't know the meaning of love or like. So how am I supposed to like her?" He questions me in return.
"But you had a past with her! You shared something. Ragon said you were lovers and that she was meant to take my place at your right." I don't believe him, he lies.
"Nothing. We shared nothing; I just went with the flow. Perhaps in the eyes of others we seemed as lovers as we spent a lot of time together but I neither felt nor feel anything for her. Yes, she was meant to take your place as I still hadn't found you and the pack needed a Luna." He scrutinizes me with his hard stare as he answers all the questions, I throw at him calmly.
"And what of the ring you gave her? The one that reflects the depth of your eyes. The one she wears proudly." I question him frowning.
"I gave that to her in preparation for her to become the Luna. It possesses no significance or feelings attached to it." He answers his eyes digging into mine never wavering showing me he speaks no lies.
"I don't think she feels the same way you do." I whisper looking away.
"That has nothing to do with me. What she feels is her own, I take no part in it." He just stares at me. How can he be so heartless? How can he not feel? What about my feelings, will he say the same? Will this male ever come to love me?
"Why wouldn't you tell me anything? You could have saved me from so much pain, you made me suffer." I walk backwards as he walks forward towards me.
Tilting his head to the side, "I didn't need to, what do you expect me to say when there isn't anything there to say about the matter." He says folding his arms across his chest. There is truth to his words but still couldn't he have said something about it. Just a word that there was nothing between them, I would have accepted it.
As silence consumes us, we quietly stare at each other. Trying to figure the other out until he breaks the silence. "Cronus is leaving too. They are leaving right now." He tells me calmly waiting for my reaction. He is playing a cruel game with me.
"Don't lie to me Deimos, it won't end well." I am getting agitated.
"It is my truth, as they are obeying my orders." He says taking steps towards me, getting closer.
My eyes widen, hands shake, head sways left and right. What? No! No! Why? Why is he leaving too? He can't, my only friend.
Taking steps backward looking at the exit, Deimos watches my movements calmly. But the moment I take my first step to run Deimos pounces caging my hips in his strong arms, as I begin struggling.
"Let me go, Deimos. I n-need to stop him." Tears brim my eyes, while Deimos's deep growl bounces off the walls. "Deimos please don't do this..." I plead to him.
"Why? What do you feel for him?" He asks me, anger brimming at the surface.
"He's... he's my first and only friend." I tell him my truth.
"He needs to leave; you understand why yes?" When I don't answer him, he questions me again sternly. "Do you understand, mate?" No, I don't understand but still I nod to him.
"Let me at least say bye, please Deimos." He lets me go and the second he does I am off running towards the gate trying to catch Cronus before he leaves. Tears streaming freely down my face. Why does everyone find the need to leave? Why do the ones I truly care for and need always leave?
Reaching the gate, I see Cronus putting the suitcases in the car where Theia is already seated inside wiping her eyes continuously.
"Cronus!" I shout as he turns around looking at me surprised, as I run to him stopping right in front of him. We just look at each other as I cry harder, I have never cried when someone left but he's special.
Putting his thumb under my eyes, wiping my tears off he smiles sadly. "Looks like I've made you cry, Luna. Forgive me." He says gently.
"Did you plan to leave without telling me? Did you not want to see me? Answer me!" I question him, my tone filled with pain and fury.
"I thought this was the best way to do so." He tells me gently, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Why? Why do you need to leave too?" I ask him desperately.
"Same reason as Theia, I need to get rid of these feelings, I cannot stay next to you when you belong to another." He looks away from me.
"What about me? What about my feelings? You are selfish! You promised, you promised you would be here." This is so unfair, it hurts.
"Forgive me, Luna." He says softly.
"Will you come again? Will I never see you?" I whisper with fear.
"Perhaps with time, may we meet again. Remember to eat properly and take plenty of rest. Good bye, Luna." With a light kiss on my forehead and with one last look at me he gets in the car and drives. What kind of answer is that? Why show you care when you are just leaving like this?
Watching the car drive away I cry harder. My only friend has left me, my only support. Now I need to survive the pain alone.
As I enter the pack house silence welcomes me and thoughts of Cronus's laughter drowns me sparking more tears. I will definitely miss him. I don't wish to be alone. This place doesn't have any warmth to provide for me, Cronus did that. He was the friend that showered me with kindness.
But everything vanishes when Deimos strolls down the stairs and stands in front of me watching my tears flow.
"Why must you cry, mate?" He asks me gently.
"I-l'll be alone now. I'll be lonely. I have no one by my side." I say with hiccups.
Deimos's eyes seem to hold a tender look as he wipes my tears, holds me and whispers to me, “No you will not. From today, I will take them. Your loneliness, your fears, your pain, your happiness. I will take them all and I'll share mine with you, mate."