Chapter 147:

Derek and I both freeze and he drops me abruptly. I almost lose my footing but catch myself in time. I turn to Natasha and avoid Derek’s startled look at her use of the maternal endearment.

“Is everything ok sweetie?” I ask. She shakes her head and comes over to me, wrapping her arms around my legs.

“I just had a bad dream,” she replies. I pick her up and carry her back into the other room.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask. She shakes her head again so I stroke her hair and hum softly to her. She falls back asleep within minutes and I kiss her on the forehead before I go back to Derek. When I walk back in the room, his eyebrows are raised.

“Mommy?” he asks me.

“I promised Felix I would take care of her and keep her safe. It was his dying wish,” I say with tears welling in my eyes. Derek comes over and caresses my cheek.

“Sweetheart, I know his loss was devastating, but I wish you would have discussed this with me first,” he says gently. His soft tone doesn’t cover up his disapproval and I feel myself getting angry.

“Discussed what? She has nobody, Derek! What the hell are we supposed to do? Send her into the system? She deserves better; she’s been through enough!” I tell him.

“Lily, I’m just thinking of the fact that she doesn’t know what we are. She’s human. It’s hard to explain it to an adult, let alone a child. She is going to be scared and confused,” he replies. His logical response annoys me.

“I swore to him I would protect her,” I say firmly and cross my arms over my chest. I’m not budging on this, even if he is making a good point.

“I’m not saying we can’t have her stay with us for now. But we will need to talk about this, with each other and the pack. It’s an important decision, which we can’t take lightly,” he replies calmly.

“Yes, Alpha, sir!” I say sarcastically and salute him. I know I’m being childish, but my need to keep my promise to Felix overwhelms any shame I might have over my behavior. I turn away from him and go into the bathroom. I need a shower and I’m too irritated to continue this conversation.

I get halfway to the shower when he grabs my arm and spins me around.

“Lily, my patience is wearing thin after the past few days. I’m being reasonable and you know it. We will table this discussion for now, but let’s put that smart mouth to better use,” he says in a domineering tone. His mouth descends on mine and I can’t help but respond.

He shuts the door behind him and has the forethought to lock it. Then he strips both of us and climbs into the shower, pulling me with him. I know I am being stubborn and I need to let it go for the moment. Derek has been patient, and supportive. I want to show him how much I appreciate him for the man he is, so I lower to my knees.

As I take him in my mouth, he groans and grabs a fistful of my hair. I relish in the task of giving him pleasure. I feel so powerful and beautiful as I glance up and see the look of ecstasy on his face. I run my tongue on the underside of his hard member and gently caress him underneath. He growls and lifts me up suddenly, impaling me on his length. I gasp in surprise and sigh. He grips my hips tightly as he moves me up and down at a furious pace.

When he suckles one of my nipples I grab the handle on the shower door for balance. It’s been so long and I’m approaching my release quickly. I move my hands to his shoulders and bounce a rhythmic dance that has him moaning. He moves his fingers down to my slippery core and rubs circles that drive me crazy. I can’t help myself from going over the edge and I shout his name as I come. He covers my mouth halfway through to muffle the sound and follows me quickly into rapture.

Breathing heavily, we hold each other under the hot spray and he strokes my back lovingly. We wash each other slowly, trading kisses and smiles. Whatever else is going on, this moment is sacred and untouchable.

As we fall into bed, exhaustion sets in and I drift off in Derek’s arms. My dreams are wrought with nightmarish scenes of Felix’s death and endless searching for my daughter. I toss and turn and never really fall into a deep sleep. I rise from the bed with the dawn shining through the windows and hear a knock on the door. The sound wakes Derek and he squints his eyes at the light. I get dressed quickly and make a move towards the door.

“Wait, Lily. Let me check first,” he mumbles. Then he shakes his head and pulls on his pants before going to the door and looking through the peephole. He immediately opens it with a smile on his face.

“Hi, Amy. How have you been?” he asks her.

“Good. I hear you folks have had quite a time of it though,” she remarks dryly. He chuckles and ushers her in as I go next door to check in on Natasha. She is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling but wide awake.

“Morning, sweetie. Did you sleep alright?” I ask her. She smiles at me and gets out of bed.

“More nightmares, but it’s ok,” she replies with a shrug.

“Why didn’t you come get me?” I ask.

“I didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t want to make my new Daddy angry,” she says. It dawns on me that she’s not very comfortable with Derek, and rightly so. She hasn’t had good experiences with dominant men. I get down to her level to make her understand and accept what I’m going to explain.

“You would never make him angry for something like that. Or for any reason. He might seem intimidating, but he’s a wonderful man and he’s very good to the ladies in his life. He would never ever hurt me or any woman or child. I want you to know that,” I tell her solemnly. She nods at me with wide eyes but seems to take my word as truth. I take her hand and lead her into our room.

“Natasha, this is our friend Amy. She is a very nice lady and she is going to take you home. We have to go on a small trip but then we will meet you back there. There are very nice people where we live, especially Annalise, who is like a mommy to me,” I tell the little girl. She looks frightened and holds onto my hand tightly.

“I’m sorry sweetie but you can’t come with us. It’s not appropriate for a little girl. But I promise we will see you very soon. Amy is a doctor and she is a lot of fun. Do you trust me to know what’s best?” I ask her.

“Yes,” she replies in a small voice. I give her a big hug and Amy leans down to talk to her. They seem to get along well enough and Amy even manages to get her to smile. She is a resilient girl and I feel pride swell in my chest when she doesn’t throw a fit or get upset.

I watch her walk out the door with Amy and I realize I made a promise to her that I’m not sure I will be able to keep.