84. Leo

84. Leo
She was...mesmerizing. And I couldn't take my eyes off her. I sat there, at the head of the dining table, jaw propped in my hand as I watched her eat her dinner. Entranced. Spellbound by her beauty, her delicate features.
She stabbed her fork into her meat and then wrapped those luscious lips around it, pulling it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, her gaze trained on her plate the entire time. I could tell that she could feel my eyes on her, and it was making her cheeks flush, and her heart beat faster.
I blew out a long sigh, taking a sip from my glass of wolfsbane before I resumed watching her. I was surprised to see that she was wearing something from what I had gifted her—a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a soft pink blouse that left her shoulders and neck bare. She looked so pretty and feminine in that.
I couldn't stop feasting my eyes on her. And I still couldn't believe that she had chosen to come here instead of running right back to the human world like I had expected her to, or even to her old pack.
"Have you decided yet?" I asked at last, breaking the silence. I knew that she had heard me, and that she had realized that I had addressed her. But she still took her time, hesitating to even look at me. It hurt a little, but I chose to ignore it.
She finally raised her gaze after a little while, regarding me with those pretty and soulful brown eyes of hers. She blinked slowly. "On what?"
"Whether you wish to stay or not," I said simply. It pained me to say it, but I had to. I had to ask. Because like I said, I was done trying to force her to love me. I was done trying to force her to do anything. It took me a long time to see it, but I finally realized that I shouldn't have taken our bond for granted. I should've tried harder, and been more attentive with her. Kinder. Gentler.
You were right, I told Athos through the bond. He did not perform any visible gestures to acknowledge what I just said, and he didn't need to anyway. I could feel his warmth, the soothing presence of his beast as it reached out for my own. I was starting to get used to being connected to him at such a deep level. It felt nice, and less lonely as well. Speaking of...
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him quietly, barely aware that I had just said that out loud. My beast and I were still mourning for our brother's loss, his suffering. It pained me still, to know that he had been through all that grief all alone. The pain of losing not one, but two beings that he had cared for so deeply. The guilt. The helplessness. I had felt it all. I had been gifted with all those memories, and everything that he had been through, now that we were connected so deeply.
"What was there to tell?" he replied, meeting my eyes from where he sat at my right side. I regarded him for a moment, sensing the direction in which his thoughts steered. He was still feeling it. A hint of all that guilt. And it was all because of our current situation. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. It was all mine. I did this. I created this. I had been selfish, and blind. And I did choose myself, as he had accused me. Multiple times. I didn't care about anybody else but myself. I did understand why the Goddess did what she did. Why she chose to punish me. And maybe it was time to accept it. And let the fates choose for me once again.
"Yes. I want to stay."
My head turned at the sound of that, meeting Calla's determined gaze. I looked at her for a moment, not failing to notice from the corner of my eye how Alisha's hand slightly twitched at her side. She stood plastered against that wall, motionless —as always, guarding her King. Performing her duty.
"Very well," I replied calmly, nonchalantly. I did not look at her. I forced myself to remain as calm as possible. Athos could already feel that storm brewing within me. But like me, he chose not to show it. Pretend that nothing happened.
I stood from my seat, suddenly not hungry anymore. I put my hand on my brother's shoulder, desperate for that small contact. That tiny morsel of comfort. Then I pushed the chair away and made my way to those doors. Fuck. I needed space. I needed to breathe.
"You're dismissed," I told Alisha coldly, as soon as I felt her trying to follow me. I couldn't look at her. Not anymore. And I did not want her anywhere near me. Not now. Not when I felt so fucking vulnerable. So...betrayed.
I burst past those doors, walking fast as that desperation pushed at me. I needed to get away, now, before I turned back around and did something stupid.
I stalked the hallways, fighting to keep my head clear and my beast at bay. Breathing fast, as my heart kept pounding. I felt sick, and my head was spinning. But I didn't stop. I kept going... Until I finally heard those light footsteps that kept following me.
My brows drew together, and I slowed down a little, focusing on my little stalker. Her soothing presence reached me, caressing my senses gently. Calming some of that angst that brewed within me. I grew intrigued. Confused, but I did not stop. I pretended not to notice, and moved faster again, rounding the corner and slipping inside my room before she could see me.
Once inside, I placed myself behind the door and waited. Maybe I had just imagined it. Maybe she was actually—
The door flung open and I jumped from behind it, causing my little stalker to squeal. She placed a hand over her drumming heart, and those beautiful eyes gave me a glower as soon as she looked up at me.
"Are you out of your mind?"
I crossed my arms over my chest, raising a brow as I looked at her curiously. Waiting for her to explain herself.
But she only drew a few calming breaths, and then she was stepping further inside, going straight for the dressing room. I tentatively prodded at our bond, not surprised to notice that her walls were still up.
I grew even more confused with her actions, simply staring at her for a moment, watching her disappear in there, only to come out a few seconds later with a pair of pyjamas in her hand. But instead of going right back from where she came, she turned in the direction of the bathroom.
I jumped in front of her once again, stopping her in her tracks.
"Okay, what are you doing?"
She looked up at me, and the tiniest hint of nervousness shone in her eyes. She blinked it away quickly.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
My brows furrowed again at the sound of that. She side-stepped me and tried to open the bathroom door, but I quickly placed a hand on it, preventing her from doing so. She turned around slowly, and only now did I finally notice how close we were, and that I had basically trapped her between me and that closed door. The little wolf inside of her immediately perked up at the closeness.
But she swallowed thickly, and I let my hand fall to my side, taking a small step back, as I did not want to make her human side feel uncomfortable.
"Like I said, I'm choosing to stay," she said at last, meeting my eyes. I stared at her for another moment like the dumb fuck I was, until realization finally dawned upon me.
My lips parted, and I took another step back. No. She continued to stare at me with those glassy doe eyes. Oh fuck no.
They filled with unshed tears, and I took a step closer to her again, almost reaching out to cup her cheek before I changed my mind at the very last moment. I let my hand fall back to my side, my heart filling with nothing but raw pain as I stared into her tear-filled eyes.
I blew out a long and tired sigh.
"I meant what I said, Calla. I don't want you like this. I don't want you to feel forced to stay by my side," I confessed to her. She looked up at me, her brows drawing together. I knew why she was doing this. She was afraid that if she rejected me I would take it out on Athos, as I did with her packmate. And it hurt like a bitch.
"I know that you still despise me, and that you're only choosing to stay because of the bond that you share with Athos," I told her truthfully. Her eyes widened in return. But I did not stop. I couldn't.
"And I'm...I'm just tired of being the monster in your eyes," I admitted quietly. I peered between her beautiful eyes, watching those few tears finally slip. It tugged at the strings of my heart, but I forced myself to go on. I wanted to tell her. I needed her to know.
"I want you to know that I will not keep you away from him. I could never," I told her. The tiniest sob escaped her.
"I know that you share a strong and special bond with him; I can feel it myself," It was true. I could feel it. It was as strong as any other mate bond, if not even stronger. I did not want to ruin it; not when I could feel how connected they were. I could remember our Holy Mother telling him that night that they won't survive without each other. I had witnessed it first-hand mere days ago, back in the forest. And I did not want to lose them. Any of them. I loved them both, with all my heart. They were the two most important beings in my life.
"But I...I just want you to know that I'm not giving up on you either. I am willing to fight for you, if you'll let me," I confessed timidly. Her luscious lips parted, her cheeks gaining the faintest twinge of pink. I could feel her heart beating faster again.
"I know that I'm an asshole, and that I messed this up so badly...but I...I just want a chance," I told her quietly. It was no secret that I wanted her, that I longed for her affection with everything that I had.
"I want to show you that I can change, and that I am capable of more than just violence, and cruelty," I took a step closer, unable to contain myself any longer as I finally reached out, and glided the back of my fingers gently over her wet cheek. Her eyes closed, escaping a small and hitching sigh at the contact.
"Just give me a chance, Calla. Please. That is all that I ask."