Chapter 54 CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
ALORA
I wake to Sarah shaking my shoulder gently. "Alora. The Alpha is requesting your presence in the medical wing."
I blink awake, disoriented. Sunlight streams through Sarah's window—I slept through dawn. Through the bond, I feel Alex's presence like a constant pull, but there's something else mixed in. Anxiety. Frustration.
"What happened?" I ask, sitting up.
"More casualties from yesterday's battle. Some of the wounds aren't healing properly—silver poisoning." Sarah's face is grim. "The pack doctors are doing what they can, but..."
But they need me. My healing abilities could save them.
I'm dressed and moving before I fully think it through, Sarah trailing behind me as we head to the medical wing. The hallway is crowded with worried family members, and the scent of blood and antiseptic hits me as soon as we approach.
Alex is standing outside the main treatment room with Marcus and Elder Margaret. His eyes lock onto mine immediately, and through the bond, I feel his relief at seeing me. Then his walls slam up, blocking me out.
"You're late," he says, his voice flat.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted me here—"
"The medical wing. Now." He doesn't wait for a response, just turns and walks inside.
I follow, my stomach sinking. The room is filled with wounded warriors, some on beds, others on makeshift pallets on the floor. I recognize several faces—wolves who fought yesterday, who protected the pack house.
Who protected me.
"Status," Alex demands from the head doctor.
"Seven warriors with severe silver poisoning. Three are critical." The doctor gestures to the far corner where three wolves lie unconscious, their breathing shallow. "We've done everything we can, but without specialized healing abilities..." He trails off, his meaning clear.
They're going to die without intervention.
I step forward instinctively, but Alex's hand shoots out, gripping my wrist.
"No," he says quietly.
I stare at him. "What?"
"You're not healing them." His voice is calm, controlled, but through the bond I feel the storm raging underneath.
"Alex, they're dying—"
"I'm aware." His grip tightens slightly. "Dr. Stevens, continue with standard treatment protocols. Keep me updated on any changes."
"But Alpha, if the Luna could just—"
"That wasn't a request." Alex's voice drops, carrying Alpha command. "Standard protocols only."
The doctor nods reluctantly and returns to his patients. I try to pull my wrist free, but Alex doesn't let go.
"Outside. Now."
He practically drags me into a private consultation room off the main medical wing, closing the door firmly behind us. The second we're alone, I wrench my arm free.
"What the hell was that?" I demand.
"I could ask you the same thing." His eyes flash silver. "You were going to heal them. Right there in front of everyone."
"Yes, because they're dying—"
"And you're exhausted." He moves closer, his presence overwhelming in the small space. "I can feel it through the bond, Alora. You barely slept last night. You're emotionally drained. And you want to pour your energy into healing seven warriors?"
"I can handle it—"
"No." The word is absolute. "You can't. And I won't let you burn yourself out trying."
I step back, pressing against the wall. "This isn't your decision to make."
"Yes, it is." He cages me in, hands on either side of my head. "You're my mate. My Luna. And I decide when you're strong enough to use abilities that could drain you to the point of collapse."
"Those wolves out there fought for us yesterday—"
"And they knew the risks when they did." His voice softens slightly. "I know you want to help. I feel it through the bond. But Alora, you can't save everyone. And I won't watch you destroy yourself trying."
"So what, I just let them die?" Tears burn my eyes. "I have this power, this ability to help, and you want me to do nothing?"
"I want you to survive." His forehead rests against mine. "Because if you push yourself too far, if you drain your healing power completely, what happens when the next attack comes? When you don't have the strength to heal me or yourself or anyone else?"
"That's not—"
"It is." His hands frame my face. "You're thinking short-term. Save these seven warriors now, regardless of the cost to yourself. But I'm thinking long-term. Keep you healthy and strong for the war that's coming in three weeks."
The logic makes sense. I hate that it makes sense.
"I can heal them," I insist. "I've done more than this before—"
"When? When did you heal seven wolves with silver poisoning?" His eyes search mine. "Because I know every time you've used your healing abilities since arriving here. Small touches. Minor healings. Never anything on this scale."
He's right. The most I've ever done was heal his shoulder wound. Seven warriors with severe silver poisoning is completely different.
"I have to try," I whisper.
"No. You don't." His thumb brushes my cheek. "The pack has doctors. Medicine. Resources. They'll do everything possible to save those warriors without risking you."
"And if it's not enough?"
"Then we mourn. And we move forward." His voice is gentle but unyielding. "But I won't sacrifice you for them, Alora. I can't."
Through the bond, I feel his terror. Not of losing the warriors, but of losing me. Of watching me drain myself trying to save everyone until there's nothing left.
"This is what I was talking about last night," I say quietly. "This possessiveness. This need to protect me even from my own choices."
"This isn't possessiveness." His jaw clenches. "This is me being your mate. Being your Alpha. And making the hard choices you can't make yourself because your compassion blinds you."
"My compassion—"
"Will get you killed." The words come out harsh. "You want to heal everyone, save everyone, help everyone. But you're one person, Alora. One blood-wolf with limits you refuse to acknowledge."
"You don't know my limits—"
"Neither do you." He pulls back slightly, and I see the fear in his eyes. "That's what terrifies me. You'd push yourself until you collapsed, until your heart stopped, until there was nothing left—all to save wolves who knew the risks when they chose to fight."
"They deserve—"
"They deserve their Luna alive and healthy for the battles to come." His voice drops. "Not burned out and broken because she tried to save everyone in one day."
A knock on the door interrupts us. Marcus's voice carries through. "Alex. You need to see this."
Alex doesn't take his eyes off me. "We're not done with this conversation."
"Yes, we are." I duck under his arm, moving toward the door. "Because I'm going back in there, and I'm going to help those wolves."
His hand catches my wrist again, spinning me back around. "No. You're not."
"You can't stop me—"
"Watch me." His eyes flash with Alpha power. "I forbid you from using your healing abilities on anyone in this pack without my explicit permission. That's an Alpha command."
The command hits me like a physical force, my wolf whimpering in submission. But my human side rages against it.
"You can't do that," I breathe.
"I just did." He releases my wrist. "And before you accuse me of being controlling or possessive or whatever else you think this is, understand something." He moves closer, his voice dropping. "Those warriors out there? They have a chance with modern medicine. Small, but a chance. You? If you drain yourself healing them and the six packs attack next week, you won't have the strength to protect yourself. And I will lose you."
"You don't know that—"
"I do." His hand rests over my heart. "I feel it through the bond. Feel how exhausted you already are. How the guilt is eating at you. How you'd give everything to save them." His voice breaks slightly. "And I can't let you do that. I can't watch you destroy yourself, even for a good reason."
Tears stream down my face. "I hate you right now."
"I know." He pulls me against his chest despite my resistance. "Hate me all you want. But you'll be alive to do it."
The door opens, and Marcus enters with Elder Margaret. Both of them take in the scene—me crying, Alex holding me despite my obvious anger.
"The warriors?" Elder Margaret asks quietly.
"Will receive standard medical treatment," Alex says, his voice back to Alpha-cold. "No exceptions."
"But the Luna's healing abilities—"
"Are not to be used. That's final." He looks at Elder Margaret. "Spread the word. Anyone who asks the Luna to heal them or their family members will answer to me personally."
Elder Margaret's lips thin. "The pack won't understand—"
"The pack doesn't need to understand. They need to obey." His arms tighten around me. "My mate's health is not up for debate."
"This will cost you support," Marcus says carefully. "The families of those warriors will see this as you choosing her over them."
"Then they'll see correctly." Alex's voice is steady. "Because that's exactly what I'm doing. And I'd do it again."
Through the bond, I feel his certainty. His absolute conviction that protecting me is the right choice, even if it costs him everything else.
And I hate that part of me understands. That part of me recognizes he might be right about my limits.
But another part—the part that feels responsible for those twelve dead warriors, for the casualties, for everything—that part wants to fight. Wants to prove I can help. That keeping me here is worth it.
"Let me go," I say quietly against his chest.
"Never."
"Alex—"
"I mean it." He pulls back to look at me. "You can be angry. You can hate me. You can spend another night away from our room if you need space. But I'm not letting you drain yourself healing warriors when we have a war coming."
"Those warriors could die—"
"And you could die trying to save them." His eyes are fierce. "Which outcome do you think I can live with?"
The question hangs between us. Because we both know the answer.
He'd let every warrior in the pack die before he'd risk losing me.
And that terrifies me more than anything else.
"I need air," I say, pulling away from him completely this time.
"Alora—"
"Don't." I hold up a hand. "Just... don't. I can't do this right now."
I leave before he can stop me, feeling his anguish through the bond. Feeling his desperate need to follow me warring with his understanding that I need space.
In the hallway, I nearly run into Sarah.
"Is it true?" she asks. "He forbid you from healing anyone?"
"Yes." The word tastes bitter.
"Alora..." She looks torn. "My brother is one of the critical warriors. He has a mate. Two young children. If you could just—"
"I can't." I cut her off before she can finish. "Alex commanded me not to."
"But you're the Luna—"
"Which means I obey my Alpha." Even saying it makes me feel sick. "I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm so sorry."
I walk away before I can see the betrayal in her eyes. Before I can feel the weight of one more person I'm failing.
Through the bond, I feel Alex's presence like a shadow. Tracking me. Making sure I'm safe even while giving me the space I demanded.
And I realize this is what our life will be now. Him protecting me from everything, including my own compassion. Me resenting him for it while understanding why he does it.
The bond pulling us together even as our choices tear us apart.
Exactly what everyone warned us would happen.
Exactly what I feared most.