Chapter 28

I didn’t know if this was a good idea, I’d only given birth over a month ago and here I was traveling with a newborn and coming to see the one man I had planned to stay away from as far as possible. He was a monster, I kept telling myself, but then it was clear I was kidding myself.

I loved him.

Even more when I saw our son’s hazel eyes and knew he was a replica of his father. The man I loved and pushed away. I had to, not only for his sanity, but mine too.

I heard the engine outside and I knew it was him, the man I’d been trying to avoid, but couldn’t stay away from.

I held our baby close to me, as the door swung open. His landlady said he’d been here for four months. She wanted us to wait in her cabin, but I told her Lucas wouldn’t mind us waiting in his, she assumed it was a surprise and smiled as I told her the assumption was correct.

Maybe this was a mistake. The car pulled up outside, but Ricardo hadn’t entered the cabin. Maybe, he’d run, scared about coming inside. I looked at the baby boy, who was fast asleep on his bed, I’d put a blanket on top of him and I decided to be brave and open the door. Before I did, I grabbed my jacket. Even the winters in Chicago couldn’t prepare me for the temperatures here. As I opened the door, Ricardo was on the other side, frozen as if in time.

“It’s true,” he whispered as he looked at me. I couldn’t see much of his face, the cold wind was blowing and the ice, had me shivering, so I edged him to come inside.

“Come in, please. It’s cold.”

He nodded, and then he followed me inside. It was funny, seeing him as he slowly stripped off his jacket to reveal a jersey polo and jeans. The Ricardo I knew always had fancy suits, cars, and always was clean-shaven; the man in front of me was nothing like the man I knew. If anything, he was more down-to-earth, someone I would see back home who probably worked as the local mechanic. He had a beard, well-shaped, and a mustache too. His hair was cut short, but those eyes, there was no escaping them even under all that hair. We stood admiring each other, familiarizing each other with our appearances, then Rik made a sound and he smiled as his gaze darted towards him.

“It’s him?”

I nodded and waited for him to ask if he could pick him up or something, but he said nothing as he got a little closer. The man I knew would have stormed into the room, made some sexual gesture and then taken Rik with no hesitation. The man in front of me was a complete stranger. I wondered if I’d made a mistake coming because he stood at the end of the bed smiling at him, too afraid to go any closer.

No more was Ricardo Ruiz a monster, he was more like a gentle giant. I should have been happy about the change, felt safe about it. I reminded myself about why I did come here, and as he stood there, I realized I’d done the right thing not staying away. I wanted him to be part of our son’s life.